“What a moral guy you are. Must make you feel so fucking good about yourself.”

He shifted his eyes up to me. The cold icy stare looked like a stranger had taken hold of him. He wasn’t the same guy I had come to know and love.

“I don’t understand. Because for everything that you say about her, you do something to totally contradict it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“For starters, you willingly accept an award that makes you look like a hypocrite. And I thought your own self-worth was worth more than anything to you.” He stood, standing directly in front of me. “And Castillo. For all the fucking love in the world that you claim to have for Bennett, fucking Castillo is an awesome way of showing it.”

“Who told you that I fucked Castillo?” The gloves were off now. I wasn’t about to have my name trashed over some shit I hadn’t done. If people wanted to judge me based off of my actions, then so be it. But to judge me on some shit I hadn’t done was grounds for some motherfucking noses to be broken.

“Don’t act like you didn’t. I wouldn’t even give a fuck if you did, except that you claim to be so into Bennett. I can’t understand how, for the life of me, you could lead on another female. And Leti is my friend. I’ll be damned if I watch you walk all over a friend of mine, seeing as how you already have once, and especially not with someone who you shouldn’t be touching with a ten foot pole.”

Bile rose in my throat. I was so incensed, and I knew that if I didn’t mentally talk myself down, Jensen would be on the receiving end of my fist and I just wasn’t sure if I had the energy to go another round with him. I slowly creeped over to him, standing so close that all breathing room had damn near been eliminated.

“I thought you were fucking smarter than that, but I see you’re about as dumb as the fucking rocks lining this yard. You want to hate me? Hate me. But do it with a sense of dignity. I did not sleep with Leti on Friday, and you fucking know it. You roll around in the mud, you’re going to get dirty.”

I stepped back and watched him. He didn’t flinch.

“As much as you hate what I have become, I hate what you are… what I was.” I turned and took a few steps towards the door before yelling out, “And hurry up and get your shit. You aren’t the fucking person I thought you were.”

I walked into the house and didn’t say another word to him. If he hated me, I was slowly learning to hate him right back. All of his self-righteous indignation was no more than a bucket of shit, pissed on twice as far as I was concerned. Did he have a point? Not in my mind. As long as I performed my job with no undue bias, there wasn’t shit he could say to me. My personal life was my personal life, and regardless of what the rules of the Corps said, I had reached the point of no return. Even with Cassie being mad, angry, disappointed, or whatever the fuck she was with me, I was determined to move forward.

And moving forward meant getting her back.

Early the next morning, I took a long run through Twentynine, letting Newsome and Jensen lead the students on their PT run. I needed as much distance from Jensen as humanly possible, and since we taught a class together, I had to steal away all I could get.

When I did make it to base, I was on a rampage, scouring the schoolhouse and looking for Castillo everywhere that I thought she would be.

No luck.

 One of the females in admin said she had taken leave and wouldn’t be back until after the holiday.

Dammit!

I walked into the classroom. Newsome already had the class going for the day. Jensen was in the back, sifting through paperwork and never once making eye contact with me. If I hadn’t had the conversation I’d had with him the night before, it would have bothered me. But today—today, he was just another co-worker of mine, and interaction was unnecessary.

What did bother me was when I finally got a glimpse of Cassie and saw scratches on her forehead. What the fuck had happened to her? My fists subconsciously clenched into tight wads as I sat there, looking at the markings of what looked like a rabid animal. My heart lurched at the realization that something physical had happened, and I hadn’t been around to protect her. Sure, she was a Marine and was more than capable of defending herself, but that shit didn’t matter to me. Marine or not, and it was my job to make sure she was secure no matter what the circumstances.

I sat festering in my own self-anguish. Ungodly thoughts stabbed my brain as I thought about her altercation and how I was going to handle it once I had found out the story. I was sick to my stomach with queasiness, and even angrier with the fact that I wasn’t around for her and that she hadn’t even contacted me to let me know about it.

Had I lost her?

Had my own self-pity made me lose out on the one thing worth fighting for? I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that. I was just going to have to work that much harder to get her back even if I had to lose every so-called friend that I had.

I was going to get her back.

Newsome dismissed the class for lunch, and I promptly stood, making a hasty exit out the back door. I caught sight of Cassie, her emerald green eyes locking with mine. The emptiness that lay in them before was gone; her gleam was back. I walked right over to her, not caring about all of the eyes and ears that were probably trained on us, and quietly said, “I need you, in my office, now!”

Before she could say another word, I walked away, down the corridor, and into my office, where I took a seat and waited. A few minutes passed, and there was still no sign of her. She hadn’t texted to let me know that she wouldn’t be coming, and I was starting to get pissed by it all. Another five minutes passed and still nothing, so I stood and yanked on the door, prepared to go and find her if I had to.

Just as I swung the door open, there she stood, looking just as fucking beautiful and delicious as the first time I had seen her. No anger or bitterness could be found in her face. I couldn’t stand there staring at her. I had to get her inside, get her speaking again, hear her angelic voice tickle my eardrums.