“For such a small girl, you have a big fucking mouth. You need to know your place. My dick is readily available to plug it up.”

My head exploded, and I lunged for him, but before I could hit him the way I really wanted to, Dalton grabbed and pulled me away.

“Yeah, take her ass before I do it.”

“You’re a piece of shit, Allen. A giant piece of shit!” I yelled back.

“I’ll fix you, Bennett,” he called through laughter with the abundance of idiots standing next to him.

“You need to chill the hell out,” Dalton said.

“Shut up, Dalton. You heard the shit he said to me.”

“Yes, and they are just words. Don’t give them power.”

I looked at him, amazed that he was able to say that. Words meant plenty to me, and they did have power, the power to drag me through the trenches and fill me with utter rage.

“That’s easy to say.”

“And easy to follow, too. Do you think I haven’t been on the receiving end of some nasty things being said to me? Allen himself has said some horrible things to me, but you know what, he’s an idiot, a Neanderthal. I don’t pay him much mind, and you really shouldn’t either.”

I didn’t say another word. I just marched into the chow hall, angry and starving, feeling like I could eat everything in sight to fuel me for whoever was ready to come at me next. 

Chapter 19

Alex


Castillo was nowhere to be found, which was probably in her best interest since I was sure she’d gotten word that I was on the hunt for her. Ruiz had squealed, and while I couldn’t be certain that Castillo didn’t speak loud enough for others to overhear, the fact that she had flat out lied about what happened that night was enough to drench me in rage.

Of course, Ruiz’s assault charge burning in my hands coaxed the information out of her, but nonetheless, she gave up just what I needed. Now, I had to make Castillo accountable.

Speaking of Ruiz, the assault charge absolutely worried me. It had worried me when Riley first discovered it, but now that she was actively engaging Cassie, it was fucking terrifying me. The girl was a ticking time bomb, a violent machine ready for war, and the two of them in the same room together played tricks on my mind, disturbing me with every thought.

Cassie still hadn’t answered me on my plans for the weekend. As much as I was trying to give her some space and time, I was growing impatient, and about ready to go and demand it from her. Thinking about her cutting me off, even though it was precisely what I had done to her, fucking stung. I was an asshole, but she wasn’t. And even though there were no excuses, the fact of the matter was that I didn’t want her treating me the way I had stupidly treated her. She was better than me, in more ways than one.

I sat on the couch in only a pair of PT shorts with a beer in my hand. Riley was gone for the night, having dinner with some chick he’d met at the bar. He’d tried hard to convince me before he left that she wasn’t a groupie, even though he’d met her the same night I fell under Cassie’s spell, but as much as I wanted to give a fuck, I just couldn’t. My mind was elsewhere, and it wasn’t on whatever chick Riley found attractive for the time being.

I kept checking my phone, hoping for something from Cassie, but there was nothing there. My nerves were fried. She was playing hard, and I had to admit, she was winning because the harder she got, the more I wanted her. I felt like I could say fuck it to everything standing in my way and take her ass the way she needed to be taken. I knew I could get her body, that was obvious from the talk I’d had with her earlier in the morning, but I was after so much more. I needed her heart and her mind. I needed her to trust me, to know that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, and I knew that would take more than my cock pleasing her.

I was starting to get drunk off of beer and that was unheard of. Beer never got me drunk, but looking into the fridge, I had already downed six and was going back for my seventh. The buzz was soothing, but didn’t relieve the ache I felt where Cassie was concerned. The loneliness of the house wasn’t helping matters either. As much as Riley could grate my nerves, he had been my right hand through all of this, and Jensen hadn’t been around since the fight the day before. The silence was killer, giving me too much time to think, and none of it good. I needed a reprieve, and I needed it fast.

I lay down on the couch with a beer in hand, flipping through mindless TV that did nothing but stare back at me. I couldn’t find anything engaging, anything sidetracking… anything at all. I stood, and headed out to the backyard to sit out on the patio and watch the moths and mosquitoes buzz by.

The front door closed, and I was jolted out of my fog, lost in painstaking thoughts and an overabundance of beer. When I looked back in through the slider glass door, Jensen was walking into the kitchen. He tossed his keys down on the counter, turned for the fridge and grabbed a beer for himself. I thought about going inside, but there really was no point. We weren’t seeing eye to eye, and I didn’t feel like kicking his ass again if he said the wrong thing to me. I was drunk, pissed, and looking for a fight. For once in all of this turmoil, I finally made a smart decision and stayed outside, allowing the still sweltering desert air to hit my face, sticking the thin layer of sweat to me.

With my head thrown back over the chair back and up against the wall of the house, I listened as the slider opened. I opened my eyes and Jenson’s hardened gaze hit me, thrusting red flags in front of me and putting my senses on high alert. I stared back coldly, silently giving him the opportunity to provoke me and send my drunken ass barreling into him. I was ready to shut his mouth once and for all.

He walked out a little further, before calmly saying, “Hey, I’m just letting you know that I’ll be gone for a while. I’m gonna be staying with some friends in town.”

I didn’t say anything, just sat back and exhaled the thick, painful breath holed up inside of me. As stupid as Jensen was acting, he was my brother. He’d been with me since day one of my Comm School instructing, and even though I thought he was acting like a little bitch about all of this, it hurt to see him turning away from me. To see him distancing himself where I was concerned. Words jumbled around inside my head, but I couldn’t think clearly enough to string a coherent sentence together.

He took a seat in the chair directly next to me and popped the top of his beer, taking one long gulp before smashing the can in his hand. I looked over to him, and noticed the shiner that I’d left on his face. I smiled a bit. He looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

We sat there, looking out into the yard at the small birds lining the wall, chirping and singing, directly contrasting with the dark mood that lay thick between us. I had a feeling that Jensen looked at me with utter disgust now and if I actually gave a fuck, I would probably be looking at myself the same way. Honest to God, if someone else had landed themselves in my predicament, I probably would have been the Jensen in the situation. Prior to meeting Cassie, I couldn’t fathom doing anything that was in direct violation of any Corps rules and regulations. The shame was much more than any punishment, and my loyalty to the Corps meant more to me than breathing. Things were always black and white, but with Cassie jumping into my world, I was now living in a very hazy shade of grey. Things that were so matter of fact before were no longer that way. Jensen couldn’t—didn’t want to see that. I couldn’t make him see it, and if it meant ripping our brotherhood apart, that was a choice I was just going to have to make.

He sat back, then exhaled loudly. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like forever. The birds came and went, and the sun set even lower as the orange and purple mixture stretched across a darkening sky. I’d finally had enough, so I stood and took a few steps toward the slider glass door when he finally spoke, stopping me in my tracks.

“Why, man?”

“Why, what?”

“Why her? Why now? I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this.”

I walked back over to where he sat, anger starting to boil deep within me.

“There is no answer. Only a feeling and I can’t deny what I feel for her.”

“Dude, you can fuck anything with two legs that opens up to a pussy. I don’t get why her.”

He still didn’t get it. In his eyes, Cassie was just another piece of ass, and that should have been very easy to move away from. He was so stuck in his box that he couldn’t see that maybe, just maybe, there was more to her than what he saw, or wanted to see.

“I don’t particularly like having to explain myself, but I’m going to go ahead and set the fucking record straight,” I grumbled. “I get that you still see life through the Corps. Fine, good for you. But, I’m lucky enough to have found someone who has helped me see life for what it is, and it’s not behind a fucking manual of rules that fail to address real life situations. I’m sorry that I fucking let my emotions come and play, and I’m sorry that you can’t understand that. But I will not apologize for falling for Bennett, and I will not allow you to make me feel fucking guilty about it.”

“You’re wallowing in your own guilt, Alex.”

“Why are you holding out? Why not just run to First Sergeant and end all of this for me?”

“Because that’s not who I am. What’s done in the dark will come to light. I’m not running to tell anyone anything. But if questions get asked, I won’t lie and compromise myself.”