Alex was the model Marine, but he was also a shitty person, and sometimes the two went hand in hand. Thoughts of the things we had done, the loving and protective way that he'd come to my defense when confronted with potential issues...it hadn’t dawned on me that he was hiding his true self. Of course, I should have known better. I was now, that girl, and rather than cry about it, I wanted to kick my own ass for it.
Angelica stayed in the room all night, making everything completely awkward. I had no drive to get out of my bed after the school day, so I stayed tucked in, reading the study manual for the radio system that we would be tested on the following week. The challenge presented to us in class was music to my ears. A whole seventy-two, to myself? I couldn't think of anything better, and I was determined to win it.
Dalton came over but didn't stay long. He wanted to head out to the free concert put on by the Marine band at The General's Lawn, but amped up music and smiling faces just didn’t seem like the right place for me to be. I was also afraid that since it was a military event, I would run into Alex and feel the weight of a boulder on my chest again. I wasn't one to whine, but seeing him struck me with pain, and since I had to see him during the regular work/school day, I needed to avoid him anyway that I could.
Angelica's cell phone woke me early Saturday morning. I'd planned on sleeping in since sleep seemed to be the only time I got any peace, but she gave no courtesy to me sleeping in the bed right next to her. Instead, she answered, laughing and talking loudly while I tossed and turned, hoping she would get the hint. When she did finally leave, I had the hardest time going back to sleep, so I got up, threw on some workout clothes, and went out on the same run that Dalton and I had done before. If I was going to inflict pain on myself, I wanted it to be done by doing something good to my body, not sabotaging it.
The rising sun creeping over the mountains hit me and poured just a tiny bit of pick me up into my soul. It felt good, all eighty or so degrees of it. The morning air, warm and slightly humid, brought a refreshing aura with it. I definitely needed it. My week had been filled with doubts and lingering questions. There was also the fear that I could be reported and destroyed, and it all hung over me like a dangling noose. It was about time to rid myself of it. If Alex didn't want to continue on with me, then I damn sure wasn't about to be hung up and worried about him.
I ran all the way back to the barracks. If Alex had done anything good with me, the anger he fueled gave me the determination to push through one of my least favorite activities--running. I looked at my watch just as I approached the building, seeing that I had shaved a good two minutes from the last time I tried this route. Exhausted joy coursed through me. I finally felt as if I was getting back to being me.
When I made my way to the stairs, I peeked into the duty room and found Dalton standing there in workout clothes, speaking to the Corporal on duty. He turned his head and noticed me, hollering, "Hey, Bennett, wait up."
I stopped, waiting on the bottom step as he came waltzing out, his everlasting smile still plastered on his face.
"You were so out of it last night, I wasn't sure you'd be up and out before noon."
"Yeah, well, when Cruella Deville is your roommate, your sleep runs on her schedule."
He laughed, and I found the energy to do it too.
"I'm heading to the chow hall in about a half hour. You want to go with me? Make up for our breakfast that got cancelled?"
His smile grew larger, and I was weakened. Even if I’d wanted to turn him down, I couldn't do so.
"Meet me at my room in a half hour. And this time, avoid any instructors lurking around here."
"Alright. See ya in a bit."
Dalton went back into the duty room, and I jogged up the stairs. When I reached my room, I looked over the balcony and found Angelica off in the parking lot, talking and laughing with what looked like Castillo. Bile rose in my throat as I watched two people who loathed me, befriending one another. Their exchanges looked so natural. It shouldn't have shocked me since both of them seemed to come with about as much venom as a poisonous snake. The desert was a fitting environment for them, and it was only natural that they found one another.
I shook them off and walked into my room, hurrying to the bathroom and hopping into the shower before Angelica came back and tried to bulldoze her way in front of me. Since Alex confronted her, she hadn't had much to say, but her pettiness was growing and I really had no desire to deal with it.
I washed my hair, remembering the feel of Alex's hand running through it. Even though I knew I needed to forget about him, it was so hard to do. The slightest of things constantly reminded of him, pulling me back into that place that was full of anger, hurt, and bitterness. I hurried through my hair washing, scrubbed my body, then got out. The sooner I was occupied, the better.
"Good morning, Cassie," Angelica said with too much sweetness. Her eyes thinned into snake-like slits. I knew she was up to no good.
"Good morning, Angelica," I dryly replied. I found no reason to be fake and put on a show with her. I didn't like her, and she knew it.
"Are you done in the bathroom? I need to shower after that intense kickboxing session this morning."
She studied my face, almost as if she were looking for a response from me, but I kept my cool and didn’t give her one. If I had learned anything from my very short time in the Corps, it was how to grow a thick skin when it came to petty bitches.
I brushed past her, moving over to my side of the room without responding to her unwanted information. There wasn't anything that could come out of her mouth that I needed nor wanted to hear.
"You know Sgt. Castillo and Sgt. Cruz have something, right?" Her voice elevated the further into the bathroom she walked. The sound of her footsteps stopped, right along with my breath.
She poked her head out of the bathroom, prompting me to turn to my wall locker and gather the things out of it that I needed. She didn't deserve a reaction from me, and I had no reason to give her one.
"Go ahead and play high and mighty, Cassie, but your boy Cruz is a manipulator. I overheard her talking about it. They all went out to celebrate last night, and he fucked her in her Jeep." She paused, stepping further out and staring at me.
I could feel the intensity of her gaze, burning into me like solar flares. What the hell was she up to? There was nothing for me to be mad and upset about if two Marines found each other attractive and acted on it. Alex and I were not an item, and if he wanted to dig into the trash for his next fuck, then so be it.
Only, I couldn’t make myself believe that.
Of course, I had a reason to be upset. Couple or not, he was fucking wrong if this were true. But I had to consider the source. Ever since Alex went for me at Coyotes, Angelica had turned into a first class bitch, and seeing me suffer seemed to be all that she was after.
I laughed her off.
"Well, that's nice. I hope it was good." The words were like deep cuts, slicing their way through me. It hurt saying that shit, even if it was just a front.
"Okay, Cassie. We both know you and Cruz had something going on. The fact that he would fuck another chick in our immediate circle says a lot about him."
"You know, Angelica, you have too much time on your hands. You've been trying to stick it to me ever since that night at Coyotes. It was a dance, that's it. But, I can't help but wonder if all of this is just your childish way of screaming that you're pissed you didn't get picked."
Her eyes lost their gleam, instead rocketing daggers at me.
"I guess I should warn your new buddy, Castillo that she better watch out. You don’t play nice when you don't get what you want, and it's obvious that Sgt. Cruz is what you want."
Her mouth tightened as her chest heaved furiously. I had hit a nerve, but it was only fitting because she had hit one with me. I hated that she could get under my skin with something that shouldn't have mattered, and probably wasn't even true, but she had. And in order to make her back the hell up, I had to go for the jugular.
And it felt good.
She turned around and walked back into the bathroom, slamming the door with all her might. A small victory had been won, but I was sure that a larger battle was lurking ahead.
About fifteen minutes later, Dalton came knocking on my door. His blond hair neatly styled, while mine was thrown into a damp ponytail.
"You ready?" he cheerfully asked, stepping into the doorway and holding the door open for me.
"Hell yes. Get me out of here."
"What happened?"
"Do you even need to ask?"
I stepped out of the room and waited as he shut the door.
We walked to the chow hall with minimal conversation. Dalton would comment on the weather, the passing birds, or even the cars in the parking lot-- anything to keep from walking in utter silence. I answered, trying to be polite, but I couldn't carry on the conversation. I was boiling—angry at so many people and unable to figure any sort of way of dealing with it.
We walked in and grabbed our food, then sat down at the first available table. I played with my food while my mind darted back to Alex, Angelica, and Castillo.
"Earth to Cassie." He waved his hand in front of me, breaking me from my daydream.
"Cassie? You never call me that."
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