Guilt hit me from all angles—unrelenting and powerful, sucker punches to the gut, over and over again. I knew then that my relief would be found at the bottom of an empty tequila bottle, so as soon as the students were released for the day, I hurried my ass out of there, went home, and downed the last of my Cuervo before passing out.

When I woke up, Riley was standing over me, looking worried as all hell.

"Hey, man," he said, his voice low and timid.

I looked at him, trying hard to focus but failing miserably.

"We're about ready to go. I don’t know though, maybe you should stay home."

"No. I need to go. I’ll be ready in like ten."

He sighed. "Look. I know what this--"

"Riley, I'll be ready," I sternly countered. I didn’t need him filling me in on the obvious.

In ten minutes, just as I had said, I was ready and walking out the door. The little bit of sleep that I’d caught helped and all I could think about was getting the leftover thoughts of Cassie out of my head. For the first time since these plans had been made, I finally found some enjoyment in the night.

Riley drove all of us in my truck since it was biggest and comfortably sat all of us. He volunteered to be the DD, leaving me with no limitations on just how piss poor drunk I could get drowning out the residual thoughts of my very own kryptonite.

The Tavern was packed. Next to Coyotes, it was our second favorite hang-out spot. It was a little larger than Coyotes but was lacking the vibrant feel. It didn’t really matter to me because I planned to be carried out by the time we left. Eliminating Cassie from my thoughts was my goal, and if it took five drinks or fifteen, I was going to make that happen.

Smith ordered the first round, holding up his shot glass and belting out, "To Alex, NCO of the motherfucking quarter."

"Oorah," Jensen and Newsome hollered, before throwing back their shots and slamming the glasses down on the table.

I threw mine back and quickly called for another, throwing that back before Castillo and Collins walked up with two more.

"Well, hell. We're late to the party," Castillo said, grinning at me and handing over another.

"Well deserved, Alex," Collins said, smiling as well.

There wasn't enough alcohol in my system to take their compliments, so I took the other shot in Castillo's hands and downed that one too. Her hooded eyes bore into me, prompting Riley to tap me on the shoulder.

"Dude, I know what you're doing. Slow down."

"Fuck off, Riley," I growled, throwing his hand off of me. "I'm here to celebrate, right? This is how we do it."

He didn't look offended. Instead, apprehension filled his face. I didn’t care. Riley had no fucking clue what I was grappling with, and I wasn't about to fill him in on anything.

Another round came out, and this time Jensen lifted his glass while yelling out, "Every motherfucking Marine in here needs to come say hello and congratulate my friend, Alex. It's a pleasure serving next to you, brother. Probably one of the best fucking Marines I've ever met."

Loud "oorahs" filled the room, making me smile. The tequila was finally settling and doing exactly what I needed it to do. I threw the shot back, blowing out a deep breath after allowing it to ooze down my throat.

"You deserve some pussy, man. This one is perfect."

Some random brunette— leggy, and tan—stepped out from behind Jensen. She smiled, but it did nothing for me. I couldn’t find anything special about her. But then again, I just needed to forget about Cassie, so she would probably do the trick.

"I'm Taylen," she said, her eyes raking me over, begging to be fucked.

She sat down on my lap, a fruity drink in her hand as she leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You wanna fuck me, Alex?"

I stared back at her, trying to figure out if I wanted to or not. A part of me wanted to say "Hell yes," run her off somewhere, and bang Cassie out of my system. Another part of me knew I'd regret it, so I smiled and lifted my hand to play with her hair.

"I might, Taylen," I answered, not giving a definitive answer.

She laughed and put her drink to my mouth, pouring it down my throat. I licked my lips afterwards, taking in the residual fruity flavor, when Taylen leaned down and kissed the fuck out of me. For such a small girl, she had power behind her lips and tongue, and I liked it.

Or did I?

Whatever I was feeling, her tongue was winning out, and I forgot all about the conflicting thoughts swirling around in my head and just went with it. Shockingly, my cock didn’t jump, didn’t twitch… nothing. Her kiss did nothing to incite it, but I ignored that and dug my tongue deeper into her mouth.

"Come up for some fuckin' air, bro. And a drink," Newsome said, tapping me on the shoulder and handing over what smelled like a Captain and Coke.

"Thanks, man."

"I'm Taylen," she said, holding out her hand for Newsome. He took it, kissing the top of it before saying, "I kind of like this fucker, so let him breathe every now and then."

She laughed-- a laugh very similar to what had hooked me with Cassie.

"I need another drink, man."

It was almost as if he had read my mind before even delivering the first drink. Another Captain and Coke was placed in my hands. I drank that one just as quickly as the first, Taylen's hands all over my chest, snaking under my shirt, her tongue gliding over her teeth.

We sat for a while longer, Castillo's eyes catching mine from the opposite side of the bar every now and then. She was off talking to some guy, but paying little to no attention to anything he had to say. A few times I caught the pucker of her lips, like she wanted to yank Taylen off of me and take her place. I had no intention of going down that route.

"You ready to fuck me yet, Alex?" Taylen's voice was whiny, and with the excess amounts of alcohol in my system, it was grating my nerves.

"I'm always ready to fuck," I told her. "I'll fuck just about any girl in here tonight."