Caleb’s eyes opened. She could still feel his cock nestled against her pussy. His arms went around her.
This was what she’d wanted. To have him wrapped in her arms. “Tell me what you need to tell me.”
Chapter Sixteen
Caleb realized why she’d decided to have this little conversation in bed. He felt different already. Before when he’d thought about telling her, he’d felt frozen. But there was no way to feel frozen when her arms were around him and he could smell her and feel the warmth of her skin. He reached down and slipped the condom off his cock, rolling it in a tissue and tossing it in the trashcan across the room. He settled back in, surprised at how comfortable he was with the big Russian snuggling in behind Holly.
He was happy Alexei was here. Somewhere along the way he’d really grown to give a damn about the man.
Holly’s hands strayed to his hair. The early evening light filtered in, making the room seem soft and intimate. It was a small room. No more than a bed and a chair and a dresser. He wasn’t sure how all three of them would fit, but he knew they would try.
“Caleb?” Holly asked.
He couldn’t put it off any longer. He cuddled against her. It really was easier this way. He didn’t feel alone, and he realized just how long he’d felt that way—forever.
“I married Caroline because it seemed like it was time. I had graduated from med school at an early age.”
“Like the Doogie,” Alexei said.
Caleb thought about smacking him, but laughed instead. Since he’d started taking the Russian at face value, he’d learned that Alexei kept him from being so damn serious. “Not exactly Doogie Howser, but I was nineteen. I was a bit of a prodigy. I finished my residency when I was twenty-five. I was supposed to open a practice in Chicago. I did what was expected of me. I married the right woman. I opened an office in the right part of town. I was empty inside, and I didn’t know why.”
Alexei sat up, watching him with an encouraging smile on his face. Holly simply waited. She’d waited a long time for him to talk. She’d been so damn patient with him.
“I got invited by a friend to do a little work in Africa. It was just six weeks in Sierra Leone. I immunized babies and performed some surgeries in conditions I wouldn’t have believed possible. I administered a lot of AIDS meds. I watched a lot of people die. And I felt something. It was different than the upscale patients I saw who complained about scars and talked on their cell phones the whole time I was examining them.”
“They needed you.” Holly’s hand smoothed his hair back.
“I guess so. I was always the smart one. Eli was our dad’s shadow, and Josh was the rebel. I got lost in the middle somewhere. But in that little pissant clinic, I finally felt like someone needed me. Not because I was a Sommerville, but because of what I could do. I finished my six weeks, came home, and immediately announced I was starting a clinic and moving to Africa for at least two years.”
“Your wife, she did not like?” Alexei asked.
He could still see the look on her face. “No. She did not.”
“But it would be an adventure.” Holly’s eyes narrowed in confusion.
She would see it that way. Holly would have packed up with him and followed him. She would have stood by his side, his partner in all things. Hell, the Russian would have gone with him, standing guard over those he held dear. How had he gotten so fucking lucky?
“Caroline didn’t see it that way. She rarely left Michigan Avenue. She liked to shop and throw parties. She liked being a doctor’s wife, but she greatly preferred being a Sommerville. I didn’t realize it until a few years in that she thought I would change my mind and go into politics. She was disappointed to say the least. She let me go. She told me she wasn’t coming with me. I explained that it was something I had to do. I walked out on her. I left her with the house and the money and walked out.”
“Caleb, did she come after you?” Holly asked. “She can’t have loved you too deeply if she didn’t come after you. I would have hauled your ass back home if I couldn’t follow you.”
“I didn’t see her for almost a year. I set up my clinic in a township. There were always skirmishes going on. The blood diamond trade had completely torn the country up. There were always little groups of soldiers, some of them nine and ten years old. They would come through and take what they wanted, and I would start over again. And then one day they decided they wanted me.”
Holly gasped. “They figured out who you were.”
Caleb sighed. “A magazine ran an article on me and my clinic. It wasn’t a huge leap to know that my family would pay a lot of money to keep me safe. The day I was kidnapped, Caroline showed up with divorce papers. She’d been having an affair, and she wanted to leave me. She told me what a pisspoor man I was and how much better my brother was than me.”
“Your brother takes your wife?” Alexei asked, horrified.
So he didn’t know everything. “Yes. Eli had an affair with Caroline. I don’t even know how angry I am with him anymore. Josh barely speaks to him. It wrecked our family, and I didn’t even love her. Eli loved her. He lost a lot. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but I can’t hate my brother any longer. I have to find a way to move on.”
“Caroline was there when the soldiers came?” Holly’s eyes had filled with tears.
Even as he told the tale, he felt his soul lifting. He felt the burden being split, little pieces of hurt being taken on by these people who cared about him. The horror still closed in on him, but he wasn’t alone. “They killed her. They shot her in the back. They took my nurses and raped them before killing them. I had to listen. I still hear them sometimes.”
“Oh, baby.” Holly’s arms tightened around him as though she could protect him. His fierce little Holly would have tried. She was a precious gift, and he was suddenly damn glad to have a partner. Alexei would never let anything happen to her. It gave Caleb great peace.
“How long did they keep you?” Alexei asked.
Forever. “A few months. Eli got the ransom message through the embassy. He thought it was a joke at first. Then they found the clinic and Caroline’s body. He paid the ransom, but they weren’t satisfied with it. They came back for more. They moved me around a lot. Then they settled into an abandoned government shelter. They locked me up in a closet. I stayed there for at least six weeks. I hated it when they took me out. It was always to beat me or force me to do something. They would throw shit at me. Come up behind me with bats.”
He could feel Holly’s tears on his chest. He soothed a hand through her hair. It felt right to share it with her. It felt right for her to cry because he finally realized what it meant to love. It meant sharing the burdens of his soul. It meant Holly could cry for him when he couldn’t. She had the right to cry for him, to ease his mind the same way he had the right to protect her. These exchanges were sacred, and to deny them lessened the love between them.
“I was so scared, baby. I wanted to die. I was more scared to live than I was to die. When Wolf found me, I could barely walk.”
Her head came up. “Wolf?”
He nodded. “Wolf Meyer was a member of the SEAL team that rescued me. He found me. He got me out of the jungle.”
“He gets banana bread.” Holly cuddled closer. Holly made the world’s best banana bread. It was her gift for people she cared about. It looked like Wolf Meyer had just made the list.
“Eli was waiting for me. He’d aged ten years in the months I’d been gone. He’d spent millions of dollars, used every favor he had to get me back, and I couldn’t look at him without wanting to kill him. What kind of man does that?”
“A man who has been betrayed,” Alexei replied. “No matter what he did, he still betrayed you, Caleb. You had right to be angry.”
“I don’t want to be angry anymore. I just want to be here. I want to live here in Bliss and take care of my patients and live a life. I want that so badly, but I can’t even sleep in a bed. Holly, baby, I sleep in my closet. It makes me a freak, but it’s the only place I feel safe.”
“We can make it work. We can expand the closet,” Holly assured him.
Alexei snorted. “We are not all going to sleep in closet, dushka. Caleb will heal, but for now I have plan.”
He got out of bed. He didn’t bother to cover up, simply walked across the room without a stitch on. Caleb envied Alexei his comfort. He was a man who didn’t have a problem with his own skin. He couldn’t help a little smile as Holly’s eyes strayed. He could tell he was going to have to amp up the workouts if he wanted to keep up with his partner.
He tightened his hold on Holly, reveling in their closeness. He was so tired. Weary even, but he felt light at the same time. He wouldn’t leave tonight. He would stay with Holly. He would pace the floors, stare at the ceiling. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t spend the night away from her. He could do this. He could handle it.
He was startled as the bed jerked and moved. Holly’s head came up.
“Alexei, what are you doing?” Holly asked as the bed slid across the floor and bumped against the wall.
“I am fixing problem.” He climbed back on the bed, sliding under the covers. “Caleb, put your back against wall. Holly, you will press against his front. He will be surrounded.”
He already was. He could feel the wall against his back and Holly turned over, scooting back against him, wriggling that gorgeous ass until it nestled against his cock.
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