Sophie Oak - Found in Bliss

“You not go. You will stay. You will stop with the aching belly and begin to grow back your balls. This is not worthy of you. Our woman is out there. She is alone, and yet you stand here worried that she will not forgive. Make her forgive. Give her something. Give her your story. Tell her why you are afraid. Tell her why you don’t sleep with her.”

Caleb’s eyes came up.

“Yes,” Alexei explained. “I see closet. I am man with curious nose.”

“You’re nosy,” Caleb corrected. “You’re a nosy bastard. And I’m not bellyaching. I can’t change who I am.”

“So stubborn. You already changed. You changed when you agree to be with her. And don’t be telling me you were just there for sex. You were in love, simply not man enough to say. Be man, Caleb. Be the man you were when you decide to walk away from wealth to help people. Be the man you are in your soul, not the one who is too scared to reach out for what he needs.”

“I sleep in a fucking closet because I can’t stand to be in the open.” His hands went to his hair, shoving it back even though there wasn’t enough of it to fall in his face.

Alexei shrugged. “This we can handle. We make nice closet for you. We tuck you in and close door.”

“Damn it. You don’t get it. You make this sound easy, but it isn’t.” Caleb practically growled his frustration.

Alexei found himself oddly calm. He understood Caleb far better than his friend could know. “No, you make hard because it easier to live with than to let go. You cling to pain because you know it. It is familiar. It is blanket. You think I do not understand? When I close eyes, I see my brother. I do not see him as he was. I see him dead. I see the blood as though that was only thing that mattered about him. Blood. Everywhere. One bullet reduced him to a mess on the floor that someone had to clean. I see this when I close eyes at night. And I force myself to think one thought of him. I think about day he teach me to skate. I replay that day in my mind. The air is crisp and cold around me, but my brother’s smile is warm. He is patient. He teach me what he knows. That was my brother. That was his life. He was taken from me. I take him back. You had something taken from you. Are you strong enough to take back?”

“You’re a fucking bastard.” Caleb’s eyes closed, and when they opened again, there was a suspicious moisture there. “I love her. I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want to let this go.”

Alexei reached out and gripped his friend’s shoulder, something deep inside falling into place. “Then don’t let go.”

“You know you’re using me as a substitute for your brother. You have to see that.”

Maybe he was, but it couldn’t hurt anything. He saw Caleb for what he was. Caleb was nothing like Mikhail with the exception of the fact that Alexei cared for both. “It is more than that, but even if it was, I am good brother. I would be good brother to you. I would not be letting you down.”

A little gleam of hope entered Caleb’s green eyes. “I can’t ask for more than that. Alexei, I sometimes walk in my sleep. I hit the walls. I kick at the furniture. It’s more complicated.”

Alexei had wondered if a lot of Caleb’s problems didn’t stem from this. This was a simple thing to fix. “No, it is simple. When you get out of bed, I will wake you and put you back in. Your body will learn.”

“And if I hurt Holly?” There it was. Alexei could see it now. This was Caleb’s greatest fear.

“I will not allow it. You have to trust me or this will not work. You have to know that I will protect her, even from your demons.”

Caleb finally nodded. “Yes. Yes, I want this. I’m pissed at her right now, though.”

“I am angry myself. She walked away. She is not allowed to do such a thing. I believe a spanking is in order.” His little dushka didn’t know what she’d done. He’d practically begged her not to walk away. He’d been willing to grovel, but it appeared she needed something more.

“I think she does deserve a spanking. And a good one.”

Alexei turned and saw Logan Green staring at him.

“You really believe that shit you just spit?” The deputy’s voice was tight.

“Yes, I believe. And it apply to you, too. Something bad happen to you. You are the one allowing it to change you. You are the one allowing it to beat you. I let this darkness inside beat me for years and years. I let it take my youth. You are on same path. You can hate me all you like, but this I know.”

“You don’t know shit, man.” Logan stalked past him and pulled the door open and slammed into his Bronco, gunning the engine. He backed out without bothering to look behind him, the wheels peeling away.

“You tried.” Caleb’s hand was on his back.

“We’ve all tried.” Nate Wright and the Marshals stood on the steps of the station house. It was obvious they had heard more than Alexei would have liked. The whole town had a curious nose.

“Alexei, I really think you should come with us.” Jessie frowned down at him. “This isn’t about the doctor. This is about you.”

“I cannot leave. This is home.”

“Yes, and you’re endangering everyone in this town,” Jessie pointed out.

The sheriff snorted. “I wouldn’t count us out just yet, Marshal.”

“He needs to be in witness protection.” Jessie’s face was set in mulish lines.

“Jessie, you know why he’s here. He’s in love with the woman.” Michael turned to his partner, his lover, his voice going low. “I thought we talked about this.”

Her head shook. “I changed my mind. He needs to come with us. He’s too valuable to risk.”

“I can’t go. I can’t leave.” If he left, Holly and Caleb would fall apart. He would fall apart. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t leave.

Nate stood tall, settling his hat on his head. “Stand down, Marshal. I already put out a call. Every man in town is going to be looking out for Alexei. He’s one of ours now. We protect our own. Now, unless you’re willing to take him into protective custody, I think you should let him go. I just got a call from Callie. The women of Bliss are currently descending on Holly’s cabin.”

Caleb went a little white. “Are you serious?”

“Why are they going to Holly’s?” Alexei asked.

Nate frowned. “It’s called ‘Break Up Patrol.’ Every woman who can will rush to the recent dumpee’s house to offer support. It’s an estrogen fest of the highest order. No man who wants to keep his balls on will go in there, but I think you two are going to have to. Unless you want to end up groveling for the next year or so. And I would appreciate it if you would break that shit up. Callie insisted on going. She needs to be in bed. I have some riot gear if you need it.”

Alexei shook his head. “I can handle these womens.”

Caleb pointed to him. “He can handle the women. I’m going to hide behind him.”

“Good thinking.” Nate tipped his hat. “Alexei, you carrying?”

“I carry much.” He could carry many things. He was very strong.

Caleb’s head shook. “He wants to know about the gun you stuff down your ass.”

“I do not stuff the gun in ass. I have it in small of back. You need to reread anatomy book.” He realized what he’d revealed and winced. “Sheriff, I need gun.”

“You also need a permit to carry concealed. Congratulations, I just certified you as a training instructor for Bliss County’s safe gun program. Cam will get all the paperwork done. Until then, don’t conceal the fucker. And Caleb, it might be a good idea for you to carry that tranq gun. I know you don’t want to kill anyone, but if you don’t have a problem shooting Mel on a regular basis, I don’t see why you can’t tranq an assassin.” Nate tossed Caleb a radio. “And keep this on at all times. You see anything shady, you call.”

“I think I can handle that.” Caleb put the radio in his pocket.

And they could handle Holly. If she thought they would let her walk away, she was in for a surprise.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Laura asked, throwing her hands up in the air as she paced across Holly’s living room floor.

If she’d expected sympathy from her BFF, she’d been wrong. Laura had charged in like a lion and started to roar.

“He lied to me,” Holly explained though she’d mentioned this more than once.

“About his name,” Laura shot back.

“Yes.”

Laura pointed at her. “I lied to you about my name.”

“That was different.”

“I lied about mine, too.” Rachel Harper came to stand beside Laura.

Holly turned to Nell, who held Rachel’s baby, Paige, on her lap. Nell looked completely innocent even though she was the one who had started this horror show. “Why would you do this to me?”

“I didn’t lie about my name,” Nell said with those wide eyes of hers.

“That is not what I am talking about, and you know it.” She wasn’t going to let Nell be obtuse about this.

“I did what any friend would do when she sees her friend jumping off a cliff. She calls in her stronger friends to pull you back.” Nell bounced the baby on her knee. “I would just jump off with you. I’m really not the best person to handle this sort of thing. But Laura is really good.”

“So is Rachel,” Callie added with a bright smile. “Rachel is excellent at telling you when you’re doing something silly.”

Callie sat on the recliner with her hand over her huge belly and her feet up.

“Well, why don’t you join in, Callie? You want to let me know how stupid I am?” Holly was getting really frustrated with her houseguests.

She shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m just happy to be out of my house. I thought Zane was going to have to roll me over in a wheelbarrow, though. If I don’t have this baby soon, I think I’m going to pop. But if you’re asking me, then I think you’re making a mistake.”