Now she was really worried she’d offended him. He’d dismissed her utterly, his walls coming up in an instant when she’d hoped they might come down. A little burst of anger threatened to explode. She felt her fists clench.

“Are you telling me you won’t do the exam now? You won’t even be my doctor?” She had to check the tears that threatened. She was sure her whole face had gone bright red. She’d never been able to control her emotions, one more flaw in Maureen’s book.

His head came up, utter confusion sparking his face. “I didn’t say that. I don’t think you need it. Holly, I’ve run just about every test on your blood I could run. I did a workup on you when you had that cold a few months back.”

“Yes, that seemed like overkill.” She’d had the sniffles, and he’d insisted on blood work.

He took a deep breath and set the folder aside. “I’m thorough. I…I just wanted to make sure you were okay. There’s this old saying in the medical profession. When you hear horses, don’t look for zebras. It’s basically a way of telling doctors to accept that a cold is more than likely just a cold. The cold is the horse. Something rarer, like Streptococcus pyogenes, would be a zebra. But sometimes zebras can bite you in the ass. I was just making sure your cold wasn’t something more.”

She felt her eyes go wide. “Wow, you’re just as crazy as the rest of us, aren’t you?”

A suspicious shade of red stole across his handsome features. “I’m surprised it took you so long to notice.”

“So I suppose I’m clean?” She’d been sure of that. One had to have sex to get a sexually transmitted disease. It had been a really long, long time for her. But it seemed unfair that Alexei was the only one who had to get checked out.

“You’re perfect.” He swallowed again and turned back around.

And that was her cue to leave. So why couldn’t she? What the hell was it about this man that called to her? And why did she keep trying? “Caleb, why are you so nice to me when you aren’t interested in me physically?”

She needed to understand. She’d been out of the game so long—out of life so long, really—that she wanted to know how and why she’d misread him so terribly.

His eyes came up, and they were harder than before. “You think I don’t want you? Not want you? How can you say I don’t want you?”

Frustration threatened to boil over. And anger. She was getting angry, too. “Don’t play with me, Caleb. We’ve done this dance for almost a solid year, and I’m really tired of it.”

“You’re tired of it?” The exam table was between them, and suddenly Holly was happy for it because Caleb looked predatory. “You’re tired of it? I haven’t had sex in a year because of you.”

“Well, I certainly wasn’t stopping you.” Actually she’d sort of encouraged him.

His head cocked slightly to one side. She’d been around him long enough to know that slight movement of his head was a sign he was getting angry. “Oh, yes, you did. I couldn’t think about sleeping with another woman because the fucking one I wanted was you. Is you.”

“Caleb, I don’t understand. I’ve practically thrown myself at you. I asked you if you wanted to sleep with me. You said no.” She’d asked him the first night he’d spent on her couch. Oh, she’d pretended it was just about comfort, but she’d hoped that once he was in bed, he would turn to her. She’d wanted to hold him, to know him, to comfort him because he seemed to need it so desperately.

Those sensual lips she loved turned slightly cruel. “I told you I didn’t want to sleep with you, and I meant it. I didn’t say I wouldn’t appreciate a fuck.”

Well, that just about said it all. Tears blurring her eyes, she turned and started for the door. It was obvious he didn’t want a friendship. He didn’t really want anything at all if he could talk to her like that. She wouldn’t be treated like a whore again. Not by anyone.

A strong arm snaked around her waist, and she was hauled back against a perfectly hard body. Caleb’s body. She could feel his breath against her neck.

“Don’t go. Not like this.”

The feel of his body against hers was bittersweet. She’d waited so long, and it was only when she was leaving that he thought to hold her. “Caleb, just let me go. I’ll leave you alone. I promise. I never meant to bother you.”

The words tumbled out of his mouth like a waterfall that had been dammed up and finally, finally set free. “And I never meant to hurt you, baby. God, I never meant to hurt you. It’s the last thing I want to do. I want you so badly, but I can’t get into a relationship. I’m not cut out for it. I would just hurt you in the end. Can you understand that?”

Not really, but she had to accept it. “Sure.”

He groaned. “Holly, you’re the first woman I’ve wanted since my wife died.”

“You expect me to believe you haven’t had sex in six years?”

“No. I was like Alexei. Not hookers exactly, but women who didn’t expect emotion from me. I couldn’t do that to you. You’re not like that, so I’ve kept my hands to myself because I couldn’t offer you anything but sex.”

But his hands weren’t to himself now. They were restless on her skin. The heat of his body was seeping into her own. “Caleb, I can’t believe that of you. You’re not unfeeling.”

“Maybe.” His head rested against her shoulder. He didn’t seem willing to let go now that he’d finally touched her. “But I’m unwilling to really try. Holly, I’m sorry. I wish I could be the man you need. I wish I could beg you not to go out with that Russian bastard, to pick me, but that would be unfair.”

And she wasn’t sure she could do it. Now that Alexei was back, she was nervous about seeing him, but she was pretty sure she would regret it the rest of her life if she didn’t try with him. And yet the thought that this was the end with Caleb tore her heart up. How had she fallen for two men?

Stupid question. She’d fallen for two men because she’d thought she might be able to have it all. Like Rachel and Callie and Laura. But no. She would have to choose, and either way she went, she would ache with it for the rest of her life. And, in the end, there was no real choice at all because Caleb wouldn’t try.

He turned her around, and she could see the agony in his eyes. She’d put that look there. She couldn’t stand the fact that he’d blown his precious control for her. He needed his control. She could see that now. “Caleb, I’ll be fine. Please. Don’t worry about me.”

“I think about you every minute of the day and twice as much when the sun goes down.” His words were tortured, and his mouth lowered to hers. His lips were briefly hesitant, and then he took over. His hands came up to clutch her shoulders and haul her close. His mouth closed over hers, his tongue teasing at the edges of her lips. Holly opened for him, and Caleb invaded.

He was everywhere. His tongue played against hers. One hand found her hair, and the bite of his fingers wrapping around her ponytail electrified her skin. He pulled on it, forcing her head into the position he wanted, giving his tongue full access. His other hand skimmed from her shoulder to her waist, the edge of his thumb just touching the outer curve of her breast. She wanted it on her nipple, plucking and teasing before his mouth moved down to suckle.

She gave herself over to the kiss, loving the rough feel of his cheek against hers. Caleb seemed to have a perpetual five o’clock shadow. It was bristly and masculine and made her feel soft and delicate. She sank her hands into his hair. It was so much shorter than Alexei’s but just as soft.

Alexei.

She had a date with Alexei, and she was kissing Caleb.

The phone rang just as panic hit. Caleb pulled her closer, bringing her into the cradle of his thighs, rubbing his cock against her. He pressed their hips together, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted her. She could feel him pulling her in, bringing them closer with just the touch of his skin against hers.

She was falling back in, forgetting everything but the feel of him when the phone rang again. The real world was intruding, reminding her of what he’d said before. He didn’t really want this. She forced her hands up to push him away.

“Caleb. Caleb, your phone is ringing.”

His hands tightened. “Let it ring.”

“What if it’s an emergency? What if Callie’s gone into labor?” He was the only doctor for miles. He couldn’t ignore a call, even though her pussy was begging her to rethink her position.

Caleb cursed and dropped his hands. Frustration settled over him. “Damn it. I am not a fucking obstetrician.” He took a long, deep breath and then turned away. He grabbed the phone. “What?”

He had the worst bedside manner, and he definitely needed a receptionist. Holly straightened her T-shirt and wondered how long it would be before she forgot how it felt to be held by him. Should she tell Alexei what had happened? What the hell was she doing?

“It’s for you,” Caleb said gruffly, shoving the phone toward her. “Apparently Rachel Harper saw you walking in here and told Stella where you are. You should have come in the back way.”

She took the phone. “Sorry. One of these days I’ll be able to afford a damn cell phone. Not that it would work here. Hello?”

After three minutes and one convoluted story involving a botched gnocchi experiment and a raccoon on the loose in the kitchen, Stella finally got around to explaining that Holly needed to pick up some supplies in Alamosa.

“Sure thing,” Holly said, eager to get off the phone. She hung up and then cursed. “I don’t have a car.”

“What’s wrong? Did it break down again?” Caleb stood as far away from her as he could. Only the wall behind his back seemed to keep him in the room with her.