“Eli!” I screamed, and ran full speed at him. He caught me and just barely kept us from falling over as he laughed and hugged me close.

“Good to see you too, sis.”

“I can’t believe you’re here!”

He kissed my cheek and turned me to walk back toward the apartment with an arm slung around my shoulders. “Figured I’d surprise you girls.”

“How long are you staying?”

“Just until tomorrow evening. I’m only here on business.”

I pouted but didn’t have time to say anything else, because as soon as we were in the apartment, Candice launched herself at him much the same way I had. She said my words verbatim and I couldn’t help but laugh. Candice and I were so different but at the same time so similar it scared me.

“Well, now we definitely have to go celebrate,” Candice said as she bounced up and down on her toes. “Do you have any more meetings today?”

“Nope, done until the morning.” He patted his flat stomach and looked at his watch. “I’m starving, though, and I heard the Mexican food here is completely different than what we have in California.”

“Then Mexican it is,” I said with a huge smile. “Let me go change, I’ll be ready in two seconds!”

I felt lighter than I had in a long time. Eli had always had a calming effect on me and I was so thankful for it now. He’d seemed to be more mature than other guys his age when we were growing up, and he had this silent intensity about him that I had clung to after my parents had died. He knew words wouldn’t help in those hard times and his presence alone had helped me more than anyone else could have until I was given my journal. But even in times that were happy, like now, that intensity rolled off him and washed over me, making it feel like a huge weight had been lifted. The anniversary of my parents’ death and the Blake situation were forgotten. Complete peace.

Until three hours into our drinking and eating, anyway.

“Hey, so I heard Blake was in Austin.”

I froze and Candice eyed me warily before downing the rest of her margarita. I grabbed my beer and followed suit.

“Got in touch with him this afternoon. I’m supposed to go meet up with him in about half an hour. I told him I’d bring you two with me.”

This wasn’t happening. “Um . . .”

“I’m game!” Candice said, and nudged Eli’s side. “I haven’t seen him since school let out anyway. I miss him.”

Eli laughed and drained his beer. “I haven’t seen him since all that shit went down with Jenn. He left for the air force right after.”

My heart rate had kicked up, but at the mention of Blake’s girlfriend before he moved away, it halted. I hadn’t known anything bad happened between the two of them. I just remembered hating her for being with Blake. She’d been tall, with long, dark hair and blue eyes. I remembered not understanding why he would like her and not me; the only thing she had that I didn’t was boobs. “What—um . . .” I cleared my voice and tried to sound as uninterested as I could in my questioning. “What went down between Blake and Jenn? I thought they were happy before he left.”

Candice’s eyes narrowed at me. She knew I was searching. Eli shook his head and stretched his arms over his head before responding. “They had been happy. Jenn was attacked by some guys walking home from a party one night, ended up in the hospital . . . she was really fucked up. I went with Blake to wait for her to wake up, and when she did she didn’t want to talk to him. It tore him up. He kept trying to talk to her and see her, and she refused to. She and her family moved away the week after she got out of the hospital. Blake had to leave for boot camp right after.”

I’d officially stopped breathing.

Was Blake the one who attacked her? Is that why she didn’t want to see him? I glanced over to Candice to see her shaking her head at me. She wasn’t glaring anymore, but she looked disappointed in me. Like she knew exactly where my train of thought had gone and was upset I was still putting the blame on her cousin who could do no wrong.

Eli handed his card to our waiter and drummed his hands against the tabletop. “So does that sound good? We’re gonna meet him in the bar of the hotel I’m staying in. I can get you girls a room.”

“No.”

“Rach”—Eli smirked—“I’m not gonna be able to drive the two of you back to your place after. Unless you want him to meet us at your apartment?”

“No!” I said too loudly, and people at the surrounding tables looked awkwardly at us. “I don’t want to go. I’ll just go back to the apartment.”

“What? Rachel, why?”

Candice cleared her throat and straightened her spine. “Rachel can’t stand Blake.”

Eli laughed softly. “Right. You only had the biggest crush on him growing up.”

My eyebrows shot up. “You knew about that?”

“Who didn’t know about that? You weren’t exactly subtle about your feelings for him.” His expression darkened suddenly. “I could’ve killed him for that.”

Wait . . . What?! “Killed him for what? For me having a crush on him? It’s not like it was his fault.” Oh my God, was I really sitting here defending Blake West for anything?

“No,” he snorted. “I was making fun of him because he never dated or hooked up with anyone. He told me he was just waiting for you to get older, that he was going to marry you someday. I thought he was joking at first, but I was wrong. Do you remember when Blake got in that fight and his nose got broken?” When Candice and I both nodded, he continued. “That was because of that. Dad had to pull me off him.”

“You beat him up because he wanted to be with me?” I wanted to pull Eli away and tell him everything that had happened. Candice didn’t believe me, but Eli would.

“Of course I did. You were like my sister, but it wasn’t just that. You were only twelve at the time and he was . . . what, seventeen? It was fucking disgusting.”

So that was why Blake had started ignoring me. I’ll never forget the way he looked after that fight. I had run up to him wanting to take care of him and began fawning all over him. He’d pushed me away and started dating Jenn not long after. I still saw him all the time since he was always with Eli, but it was like I didn’t exist to him anymore after that. I’d been hurt, but not discouraged in my quest to win his affection.

Chills spread through my body. Eli’s words made everything that had happened with Blake so much worse. And the fact that Jenn had been an older version of me was now incredibly disturbing. “Um . . . well. Things changed. I grew up. And I don’t like the person he’s become.”

Candice made a frustrated noise but played it off by looking at her phone when Eli looked at her questioningly.

“What do you mean? What’s he like now?”

I ground my teeth and locked my jaw. Pulling my phone out of my purse, I typed out a quick Rescue me text to Kash with the name of the restaurant and tried not to scream at Candice when she responded.

“Rachel just doesn’t like the fact that he’s a player now.”

Eli barked out another laugh and signed the check. “I’m sure she doesn’t. You girls ready?”

“I’m going to go back to the apartment,” I said softly as I grabbed my purse and got out of the booth.

“You’re serious, you really aren’t going to come?”

“No. But let me know if I can see you tomorrow before you have to fly back to California, ’kay?” I hugged him tight and wondered again why he couldn’t have been the one to save me from Blake.

He kissed my temple and began leading me out to the parking lot. “Well, I’m still going to drive you back.”

“No, it’s fine. I have a friend coming to pick me up. You two go meet up with him.”

“Oh . . . well, then. All right, I guess.” It came out as more of a question, and I couldn’t blame him.

I would never normally have passed on spending time with him, especially since Candice and I never got to see him anymore. But if they were going to be with Blake . . . I just couldn’t.

They waited with me until Kash pulled up, and Eli instantly took on the big-brother stance. “Do I need to have a talk with this guy?”

Candice and I both laughed but I just hugged Eli and kissed his cheek before heading toward the truck. “He’s harmless, Eli, promise. His only problem is that he has a bad habit of waking me up early and forcing me to make pancakes, but he’s just our neighbor.”

“Just.” Candice snickered and grinned mischievously at me.

“You should really ask Candice about her relationship with his cousin.” I made a faux-shocked face before blowing a kiss to Candice and practically throwing myself into Kash’s truck.

“Bitch!” was her muffled response, and I grinned at Kash until I saw the hard set of his jaw and mocking eyes.

“So she’s the lucky winner tonight?” he asked after a few minutes of silent driving.

“Excuse me?”

“Kinda surprised you’re not more upset about it.”

“Well, I kinda want to know what I’m supposed to be upset about.” I crossed my arms under my chest and turned so my back was resting against the door so I could look at him more easily. What is his problem? I made the douche bag pancakes two days ago! And I told him all about Blake this morning. That was hard for me; now he’s going to treat me like this? “I got the job, by the way, in case you were wondering.”

He shook his head and rested his forearms on the steering wheel while he waited for the light to turn green. “Knew you would, and Rod called me this afternoon so I already knew that you did. You start tomorrow night?”

“Mmm-hmm. Are you going to tell me why I’m supposed to be upset?”