Maya Banks - Forged in Steele

She swallowed visibly and looked suddenly uncertain, her eyes casting downward. Her teeth flashed, sinking into her bottom lip, a sure sign of her agitation. He gently thumbed her lip away and then nudged her chin upward.

“What’s bothering you, Maren?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Just wondering. It’s stupid, really.”

He cocked his head, curious about what she was thinking. “Tell me.”

To his surprise, she blushed, her cheeks going rosy with color. “I was going to ask where I was going to sleep, but you showed me to the guest room. It was a silly thought.”

He went still, his pulse suddenly thundering in his ears. Then he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look directly at him.

“If you’re asking where you can sleep, then yeah, the guest room is all yours. If you’re asking me where I want you to sleep, then the answer is with me. In my bed. But if that’s not what you want, that’s okay. At least for now.”

Relief flashed in her eyes. “I’d like to sleep with you. I mean if that’s okay. I’d just feel safer.”

Her admission tugged at his heart and he stroked his thumbs over the softness of her skin.

“Maren, I’m not going to pretend that you and I haven’t slept together. I’m not going to pretend that we didn’t make a pretty damn powerful connection. I knew it then and I know it now. It’s why I told you I was coming back to you. What we had wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot. It’s merely been delayed. But that’s over now. You’re here with me where you belong. And I want to see where this takes us. We have a tie between us now. Our child. But that’s not the only connection between us, and I think you know that as much as I do. And I don’t want you to ever think that the only reason you’re with me is that you’re pregnant with my baby.”

She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and then she laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m scared, Steele.”

Her frank admission tore at his chest. He tightened his hold on her and angled his head to kiss the top of hers.

“I’m scared too,” he admitted.

She stiffened and then picked up her head to stare at him in surprise. “I can’t imagine anything ever scaring you.”

“Then you haven’t got a clue what I’ve been through these last weeks, not knowing where you were, if you were hurt, dead, suffering, afraid. The list goes on and on. I was gutted the day Sam told me you’d gone missing, and I haven’t been worth a damn since. Right here and now with you in my arms is the only moment of peace I’ve known since the day I left you and promised to come back. It was a promise I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep when I learned what had happened to you.

“And beyond that, the thought of you carrying my child scares the shit out of me. Not because it’s not something I want, but because I know all the things that can go wrong. I know that just because you’re away from Tristan Caldwell now doesn’t mean he won’t come after you. I’m scared I won’t be able to protect you. I’m afraid of what could happen to you and our child. So yeah, I’d say I’m pretty damn scared right now.”

She kissed him, long and deep, her mouth moving sweetly over his. He let her dictate the action, perfectly content to sit back and enjoy what she gave him.

“Never thought I’d feel this way over a woman,” he murmured when she pulled back, her eyes glazed with desire. “Never wanted to.”

“And now?” she asked softly.

“Now I don’t mind at all.”

“YOU need to eat something,” Steele said to Maren as she sat on his lap, snuggled into his arms.

The two had stayed there for the last hour simply enjoying being together and talking about the baby. Nothing too serious. Just idle chitchat, whatever came to mind. It was the absolute best medicine for her.

She’d never felt more safe or content than she did in this moment.

“Do you think you could stomach some soup and maybe a cup of hot tea? I don’t have a variety of the teas you drink, but I could at least use the tea bags that I make iced tea with and make it hot for you.”

Her heart went soft at the concern in his voice and the determination to take care of her. It felt . . . nice. She’d always been self-sufficient. Her parents had taught her to take care of herself from a very young age and she’d always been grateful for that. She’d grown into a confident, capable adult and she had her parents to thank for that. But it didn’t mean that when the chips were down she wouldn’t absolutely accept a man like Steele protecting and caring for her.

“Some broth in a cup followed by a cup of hot tea sounds heavenly,” she said. “If you have some crackers perhaps I could nibble on a few of those and see how my stomach fares.”

His palm slid over her belly and cupped it possessively. “Have you been sick much? I know you’ve had less than ideal circumstances at the start of your pregnancy and I know you were stressed beyond belief. Has it been worse for you because of that? Admittedly, I know zero about pregnant women. Can’t say I’ve ever had the need or desire to be around them much.”

She smiled and then grimaced ruefully. “It’s funny because up until the day I looked at the results and confirmed my pregnancy, I hadn’t actually been sick. A little queasy, yes. But the minute I saw the results? I puked in the trash can in my office. And then after when I was kidnapped and held by Tristan, yeah, I was sick often. It was pretty bad because half the time I was too scared to eat anything for fear that he’d drug me. I know it sounds crazy, but I honest-to-God didn’t know just how far he’d go. He was so cool and detached. I didn’t think he’d suffer one ounce of guilt for ridding himself of something he considered a problem.”

Steele’s lips thinned and a fierce light blazed in his eyes.

“The other half of the time when I actually wanted to eat or felt I needed to, everything he served was rich. Very highbrow. His tastes were expensive and most of it nauseated me so much that I couldn’t get past the smell to taste it. Had no desire to.

“Armand, or rather Hancock, was nice to me. He got me things. Like vitamins and chocolate. He even got me a baby book. And glasses to replace the ones I lost.”

Steele’s scowl deepened at the mention of Hancock.

“Who is he, Steele?” she asked quietly. “I knew him as Armand, but I overheard him speaking to Tristan before we ever left Costa Rica. He warned Tristan of my connection to KGI. He didn’t name them, but it was evident to me who he was talking about. And then later, he got me out of Kosovo and to Rio and ultimately you. But I was there when we met Rio and it wasn’t a friendly meeting at all. They didn’t even act as though they liked each other and yet Hancock helped me.”

“Hancock is the bastard who damn near got Grace killed when he took her from us. He was also responsible for one of my team members getting shot when he made his move on Grace. He works for an organization that doesn’t exist, officially or unofficially.”

Maren shivered. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not,” Steele said grimly. “They’re a rogue organization. Have no fucking clue who signs their checks or if the same person does on a regular basis. They have their fingers in a lot of different pies. Supposedly he’s undercover in Caldwell’s camp and will eventually take him down. Have no idea why he’s waiting. Best guess is Caldwell hasn’t led him to what he’s looking for yet. Or maybe Caldwell is simply a stepping-stone to someone bigger.”

“Why would he let me go like that? It seems strange that he’d risk his mission. I have no idea what Tristan did when he learned that I’d disappeared. Don’t really care. But Hancock took a huge risk in doing what he did. And I know you don’t like him. That’s evident by your expression. But he was nice to me. He scared me to death, but he swore he wouldn’t let Tristan hurt me or my baby.”

“If that’s true, then I’m grateful he was there,” Steele said, though it seemed he choked on the words.

Maren lifted her gaze to meet Steele’s squarely, and she put it out there, her biggest fear.

“Do you think he’ll come after me?” she asked softly.

Steele squeezed her hand and then lifted it to kiss her knuckles. Then he wrapped his fingers around hers and held her hand in her lap.

“I won’t lie and say there’s no possibility. The truth is I don’t know, but I’m certainly not discounting the possibility. I’m assuming he’s a very real danger to you and our child, and I’m going to act accordingly. But I don’t want you to worry, Maren. You don’t have only me. You have all of KGI. You have my team. They’ll go to the wall for you, absolutely, and once I tell them what you are to me, then you’ll have the same loyalty that extends to me.”

Her pulse accelerated as she took in his words. “What are you going to tell them?”

“That you’re pregnant with my child and that there is no way in hell I’ll ever let that son of a bitch touch you again.”

“Oh.”

She swallowed and felt her hand start to shake in his grasp.

“I’m not sorry you’re pregnant, Maren, and I won’t pretend that I am or that I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m going to become a father. It’s something to celebrate, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “I swear I don’t know what to do with you, Steele. You are forever keeping me off balance. Just about the time I think I have you figured out, you do something that completely changes everything.”

“Good,” he said in a smug tone. “I’d hate to think I was becoming predictable.”