Kathleen Winsor - Forever Amber

Oh! thought Amber, dizzy with exultation. He looked at me! And he smiled! The King smiled at me! In her excitement she did not even see the camel lumbering along bearing brocaded panniers from which a little East Indian boy flung pearls and spices into the crowd.

The King’s swarthy sombre face and the expression in his eyes stayed with her for hours as vivid as the moment she had seen him. And now she was more than ever dissatisfied with her life in the Sanctuary. The world of which she had half lost remembrance called to her again like an old and beloved melody and she yearned to follow it—but did not dare. Oh, if only somehow, somehow I could get out of this scurvy place!

That evening the four of them sat at the supper-table: Bess sullen and glowering because she had not been to the pageant; Amber eating in silent preoccupation; Black Jack laughing as he showed Mother Red-Cap the four watches he had stolen. Amber was conscious of the conversation but she paid no attention to what was being said until she heard Bess’s angry protest.

“And what about me, pray? What am I to do?”

“You may stay here tonight,” said Mother Red-Cap. “There’ll be no need for you to go along.”

Bess banged her knife onto the table. “There was a need for me once! But now Mrs. Fairtail’s come I find I’m as unwelcome as a looking-glass after the small-pox!” She gave Amber a venomous glare.

Mother Red-Cap did not answer her, but turned to Amber. “Remember the things I’ve told you—and above all, don’t be uneasy. Black Jack will be there when you need him. Keep your wits and there’ll be no possibility of mistakes.”

Amber’s hands had turned cold and her heart was beginning to pound. During the discussions and rehearsals for these holdups she had always felt that she was merely pretending, that she would never really have to do any of those things. And now all of a sudden—when she had least expected it—the pretending was done. Mother Red-Cap did intend her to go. Amber could feel the noose about her neck already.

“Let Bess go if she wants to!” she cried. “I’ve no great maw for the business! I dreamed about Newgate again last night!”

Mother Red-Cap smiled. Her temper was never ruffled, she never lost her cool, reasonable tone and manner. “My dear, surely you know that dreams are expounded by contraries. Come, now, I had expected great things of you—not only for your beauty but for your spirit, which I had thought would carry you undismayed through any adventure.”

“Undismayed spirit, my arse!” snorted Bess.

Amber gave her a sharp hard stare across the table and then got to her feet. Without another word she left the room and went upstairs to get her cloak and mask, to powder her face and smooth a little rouge on her lips. A few minutes later she came down to find Bess and Black Jack quarrelling. Bess was chattering furiously at him though he merely lounged in his chair with a wine-bottle in his hand, and ignored her. Seeing Amber at the door he smiled and got to his feet. Bess whirled around.

“Your!” she cried. “You’re the cause of all my troubles—you jilting whore!” And suddenly she grabbed a salt-cellar from the table and hurled it to the floor. “There! And the devil go with you!” She turned and rushed out of the room, sobbing as she went.

“Oh!” cried Amber, staring at the spilt salt with scared and anxious eyes. “We’re cursed! We can’t go!”

Black Jack, who had gone after Bess, now gave her a cuff with his great hand that almost knocked her off her feet. “You damned meddling jade!” he roared at her. “If we run into ill-luck I’ll cut your ears off!”

But Mother Red-Cap scoffed at Amber’s superstitious fears and assured her that it could be no ill omen because it had been done purposefully. She gave them some last-minute admonitions, Black Jack swallowed a glass of brandy and—though Amber was still reluctant and worried—they set out. By the time they had climbed the stairs and entered the Temple gardens she was beginning to feel excited and eager for whatever adventure might lie ahead; Bess and the spilled salt were already far out of her mind.

IN THE CITY the bells were ringing, and blazing bonfires sent up a glow against the sky. Every house was brightly lighted and crowds of merrymakers filled the streets; coaches rattled by and there were sounds of laughter and singing and music. Taverns were packed and the inns were turning customers away. It was the night of the Restoration all over again.

The Dog and Partridge was a fashionable tavern located in Fleet Street, frequented for the most part by gallants and the well-dressed, overpainted harlots who tracked them to their habitat. On this night it was jammed full. Every table was crowded with men—those who brought women usually took them to a private room upstairs; waiters were going among them with trays of bottles and glasses and foaming mugs of ale; a tableful of young men were singing; over in one corner some fiddlers scratched away, unheard and ignored. And just as Amber enterèd the door four young men started out, drunk and excited, going to fight a duel over some petty disagreement or imagined slight. They jostled against her but went on, troubling neither to stop nor to apologize, though by their dress they were obviously gentlemen.

Amber, masked and with her hood up, drew her cloak disdainfully about her and stepped aside. When they had gone she stood in the doorway and looked over the smoke-filled room, as though to find someone, and presently the host approached her.

“Madame?”

She knew by his manner that he took her for what she was supposed to be: a lady—Covent Garden variety. And she felt like one herself. She had spent hours at her window, both at the Royal Saracen and the Rose and Crown, watching them get in and out of their coaches, stop to speak to an admirer, fling a beggar a shilling. She knew how they picked up their skirts, how they pulled on a glove, spoke to a footman, used their fans. They were confident careless ladies, sure of the world and of their position in it, ever so slightly scornful of those who lived apart. But it was not by mere mimicry that she could so successfully pretend to be one; it was an attitude toward life that seemed natural to her.

“I’m looking for a gentleman,” she said softly. “He was to meet me here.” She scarcely glanced at the host; her eyes were going over the room.

“Perhaps I can help you to find him, madame. What was he wearing? What is his appearance?”

“He’s very tall and his hair is black. I think he wears a black suit with a gold braid garniture.”

The host turned, looked over the room. “Can it be that gentleman? The one at the far right-hand table?”

“No, no. Not that one. Hang it, the rascal must be late!” She fluttered her fan in annoyance.

“I’m sorry, madame. Perhaps you would prefer to wait in some more private place?”

“I’d prefer it, but if I do he might miss me. I can’t tarry long —you understand.” He was to understand that she was a married woman come to an assignation with her lover and in some apprehension of being seen by her husband or an acquaintance. “Place me in some discreet corner then. I’ll wait on the wretch a few minutes or so.”

The host led her across the room, weaving his way through the hot, noisy crowd, and Amber was aware that for all she was concealed from top to toe several of the gallants turned and looked at her. Her perfume was alluring and her cloak—which Black Jack had stolen from some lady of quality—suggested wealth. He seated her at a table in the farthest corner, and though she declined to order anything to drink she put a silver coin into his hand.

“Thank you, sir.”

Sitting down Amber let her cloak fall open just enough to reveal something of her low neckline, flared her fan, gave a bored little sigh and then a quick casual glance around the room. She met several pairs of eyes, a few smiles and one broad grin, and instantly she dropped her lashes. They were not to take her for a prostitute.

She was glad now that she had come; a quick excitement flowed through her veins, and she only wished that this was real life, no mere part she was playing.

Within a quarter of an hour she had sorted them over and found at least one young man apparently well suited to her purposes. He sat at a table some seven or eight feet away playing cards with four companions, but his head turned persistently and his eyes looked back at her again and again. When most women went masked in public places a man had to learn to judge beauty by very little detail—the colour and sheen of a curl escaping from a hood, the sparkle of a pair of eyes seen between narrow slits, the curve of a pretty mouth.

Now, as she felt him looking at her again she glanced across and let the faintest smile touch her lips, a smile that scarcely existed at all, and then she looked away. Immediately he put down his cards, shoved back his chair and started toward her, walking unsteadily.

“Madame—” He paused politely to hiccough. “Madame, will you permit me the honour of buying you a glass of wine?”

Amber, who had been looking in another direction, now glanced at him in apparent surprise.

“Sir?”

The boy was flustered. “Oh, I’m sorry, your Ladyship. I meant no offense—hic—but I thought you might be lonely—”

“I’m waiting for someone, sir. I’m not lonely at all. And if you take me for a whore you’re quite mistaken. I think you’ll find your luck better with that lady over there.”

With her fan, which she held clasped in one hand as it lay on the table, she indicated an unmasked woman who had just come in and who stood surveying the room, her cloak open to show a pair of almost naked breasts. As he looked Amber noticed that he wore four rings, had gold buttons on his coat with tiny diamonds in the centers, that his sword case was silver and that he wore a large mink muff attached to a broad twisted satin girdle.