“Careful with your shoulder,” Mallory said as Jac lifted her end.

“I’m good. Where are we headed?” Jac asked as they maneuvered the stretcher toward the helicopter.

“Medical center at Gardiner.”

“How far back to base?”

“A solid half day’s drive,” Mallory said. “If the weather lets up.”

Mallory hoped the trip would be quick. As soon as they got back to base, they’d be heading right out to the field camp to complete the pre-season training. She could settle back into her role as training manager, and Jac would be just one of the rookies again. They wouldn’t be partners any longer, and the troubling sense of intimacy would disappear. She ought to be happy about that, but for some reason a cavern yawned inside her, dark and cold and lonely. She so did not need this. Even the satisfaction that usually came from a successful mission eluded her. Ordinarily, rescuing the climbers and getting them to safety would be all she needed to feel complete. The aching sadness in her chest was something new. Something new and unwelcome and, hopefully, something she could quickly correct.

Chapter Twenty-four

Jac watched the red-bordered landing zone on the rooftop of Gardiner Regional Medical Center grow larger and larger as the helitack landed on the white cross in the center. A cluster of white-coated medical personnel rushed forward the instant the helo’s runners touched down. The flight tech slid open the door, and trauma team members surged forward to transfer the stretchers onto waiting gurneys. The tech jumped out, calling out status updates as everyone raced toward the building, the injured quickly hidden in the center of the scrum. Within a minute everyone had disappeared, leaving Jac and Mallory still in the belly of the shuddering bird.

“I guess we’re done,” Jac said, the adrenaline waning and fatigue grabbing her by the throat.

“If it’s okay with you,” Mallory said, “I’d like to go downstairs and see if I can get an update on the kids.”

“Yeah. That would be good.” Jac released her shoulder harness and winced as her stiff shoulder objected to the sudden freedom.

“Maybe we ought to have someone check that shoulder too,” Mallory said.

“No, it’s okay.”

“Actually, that wasn’t a suggestion.” Mallory climbed down and extended her hand back to Jac. “Come on, let’s get you looked at.”

Jac considered refusing, but if she didn’t get medical clearance she knew damn well Mallory would never let her back in the jump plane. Somehow, she feared Mallory might be looking for an excuse to keep her at arm’s length, maybe even farther than that. She wasn’t going to give her any ammunition. Grasping Mallory’s hand, she let herself be guided out to the rooftop. “Okay. But you know how long an ER visit can take, and we need—”

“I don’t care how long. Sully has things covered back at base. All that will keep.”

“Okay,” Jac said again, surprised at how easily Mallory dismissed missing another day of boot camp. A little frisson of pleasure shot through her belly. Maybe she mattered more than Mallory was willing to let on. And maybe she was setting herself up for a fall—one a lot worse than back there on that ledge.

They followed the path of the trauma team and took the elevator to the ground floor. Like in most regional trauma centers, the doors opened across from the emergency room. To the right was the waiting area, where a harried clerk and several admitting nurses shuffled papers, typed on computers, and copied insurance cards.

Mallory stopped in front of a set of gunmetal gray double doors with Emergency Room stenciled in peeling black letters. “I’ll see if I can get an update on the kids while you sign in.”

“Take your time,” Jac said, surveying the stack of charts in the rack next to the window. She crowded closer to the wall as a transport orderly pushed an elderly man in a thin white cotton smock in a wheelchair, trailing an IV pole and oxygen canister on wheels. “You hungry? I’ll see if I can rustle us up something while we’re waiting.”

“Starved.” Mallory hesitated. “Maybe you better not eat anything.”

“Mallory, I don’t need surgery. I probably don’t need anything except some anti-inflammatories. But if I don’t eat something, I’m in danger of committing criminal acts.”

“Really.” Mallory smiled a teasing smile. “Are you one of those people who loses all semblance of civility when you need to be fed?”

Jac had a hard time looking away from Mallory’s mouth as she spoke. The windburn had faded, leaving her full lower lip looking bruised and just kissed. Kisses she wished she’d put there. She was hungry for a lot more than food and didn’t know how long she could hide it. “Yeah. I get pretty dangerous.”

Laughing, Mallory tugged on the zipper of Jac’s flight jacket. “Well then, go find some food. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Jac grabbed Mallory’s hand and pretended to bite her finger. “Careful. I did warn you.”

Mallory’s lips parted and her eyes darkened, the shadows of fatigue replaced by glowing embers. “So noted.”

When Mallory made no move to pull away, Jac battled the urge to lean forward and take her mouth. She was on the verge of combusting, her fuse lit, burning fast and hot. She shuddered and released Mallory’s hand. “See you in a few minutes.”

“Don’t get lost out there, Russo.” Mallory didn’t want to let Jac out of her sight, and that crazy reaction propelled her through the automatic doors and down the hallway to the brightly lit nurses’ station like her butt was ablaze. The ravenous look in Jac’s eyes shimmered through her despite the distance she put between them. What was she doing, flirting with her like that? But she knew, oh, she knew. She liked putting that hungry look in Jac’s eyes, liked the way Jac’s breath hitched when she teased her, liked the pressure that surged between her thighs when Jac took her hand. Maybe—maybe there was some safe halfway point. She’d never had any trouble separating her feelings from her physical pleasures before. She certainly cared about Emily, enjoyed her company in and out of bed. Why not with Jac? Not until after boot camp, when there couldn’t be any doubt the boundaries were nice and clean, but maybe then. Maybe then she could ease this terrible ache she had for her. Maybe.

*

The doors swung closed and Jac was alone. She looked at her fingers, half expecting to see sparks shooting from her fingertips. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck and under the collar of her shirt, but she shivered as if icy fingers trailed across her bare skin. She throbbed. Damn it. This was bad.

She knew how to get her body into the zone where her emotions had no impact. Breathing slowly through her nose, she filled her lungs, expanded her diaphragm, centered herself the way she did when she prepared to dismantle a bomb. Dismantling the power Mallory held over her would be a hell of a lot more difficult. Maybe impossible, especially when she welcomed it. But at least she could hide it for a while.

When her legs felt steady again, she skirted around the rows of bolted-together gray plastic chairs to the sign-in window and scribbled her name on the clipboard. A middle-aged woman in a painfully bright green velour top on the other side of the sliding plastic partition leaned forward and scanned the length of Jac’s body.

“You an EMT?” the clerk asked.

“Firefighter.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Banged up my shoulder.”

“Huh.” The clerk swiveled around, muttered something to a nurse who nodded, then swung back around. “Ought to be just a few minutes.”

“Thanks. Is there a cafeteria?”

“Down the hall.”

The clerk went back to her paperwork, and Jac followed the scent of microwaved burritos and burnt coffee beans. The cafeteria was little more than a vending room, but there were several trays piled high with doughnuts and bagels, a row of industrial-sized coffee dispensers, a few baskets of small plastic containers filled with peanut butter and cream cheese, and muffins. After two days of trail mix, protein bars, and dehydrated meals out of foil containers, this spread looked like a banquet. She glanced at the muffins and smiled to herself. She might never be able to eat another muffin unless she was feeding it to Mallory. Mallory. God. She couldn’t stop thinking about her, and the only thing she was accomplishing was to drive herself nuts.

She poured two tall Styrofoam cups of coffee to go, grabbed a cardboard tray along with four bagels and spreads, and paid the cashier. Back in the waiting area, she settled into one of the chairs opposite the silent TV showing a news station and set the supplies next to her. At not quite eight on a Sunday morning, the waiting area was surprisingly crowded. An exhausted-looking young mother with two toddlers and a baby in her arms occupied one corner. A worried-looking older man in a dapper suit sat militarily erect at the end of the last row, his hands on his thighs, his eyes riveted to the closed double doors of the treatment area. Someone very important to him was back there. A young couple in biker jackets and tattered jeans snoozed across from Jac, the girl’s hand resting proprietarily on the bearded guy’s thigh. The casual intimacy struck Jac in a way she’d never experienced before. She thought of Mallory’s hand in hers throughout the night, and her stomach knotted, replacing the hunger pangs with a different kind of need.

The doors opposite her opened, and Mallory came through, scanned the room, and fixed on Jac as if Jac were the only person in the waiting area. Jac’s skin flashed hot. Suddenly the dingy, somewhat desolate room was brighter, the medicinal odor and faint undercurrent of illness faded, and her pulse jumped as if someone had just yelled incoming.