“Meshuggeneh. She should be home in bed by then.”

He shrugged. “She won't, and the doctor says she can work right till the end … so will you come?”

There was a twinkle in her eyes as she smiled at him. “What do you think? You think I'm not going to come and visit my only son, in the godforsaken place he lives?”

He laughed at her. “I wouldn't exactly call it that, Mom.”

“It's not New York.” He glanced around them wistfully at the cabs flying past, the people walking by, the little shops on Madison Avenue only a few feet from them as they waited for the doorman to find them a cab. There were times when he felt his romance with New York would never end, and San Francisco still felt like an exile to him. “San Francisco's not so bad.” He was still trying to convince himself of that, in spite of how happy he was there with Liz, but he would have been happier with her in New York. His mother shrugged, and looked at him ruefully.

“Just so you come home soon. Especially now.” They were all thinking of Liz and the child she was to bear. His mother acted as though it were a gift especially for them. “Take care of yourself.” She hugged him tight as a taxi finally stopped for them, and there were tears in her eyes as she took a step back from him. “Mazel tov, to both of you.”

“Thank you, Mom.” He squeezed her hand and he and his father exchanged a warm look, and then they waved and were gone and he walked slowly back to his hotel, thinking of them, and Liz, and Jane, thinking how lucky he was …no matter where he lived. Maybe it didn't matter so much for now …San Francisco would be easier for Liz this year, better than slipping on ice, and battling the snow and the elements. It was just as well, he convinced himself…. And the next day when he left it was pouring rain. And the city still looked beautiful to him. It was blanketed in gray, and as the plane rose in the sky, he thought of his parents again. It must have been hard for them, having him so far away. He suddenly understood it differently now that he was having his own child. He would have hated his son to live so far away. And then he leaned his head back against the seat and smiled to himself, thinking of Liz and the baby they would have…. He hoped it would look like her, and he wouldn't have minded a little girl … a little girl…. He drifted off to sleep, and slept most of the way to Europe.

The week in Paris went too fast, and from there he went to Rome and Milan, as he always did. This time he went to Denmark and Berlin, as well, with a round of meetings in London before he left. It was a very successful trip and he was away for almost three weeks, and when he saw Liz again he laughed at her. Her stomach had suddenly exploded while he was gone, and she couldn't wear her clothes anymore. And when she lay in bed, she looked as though she'd swallowed a cantaloupe.

“What's that?” He grinned at her after the first time they made love again.

“I dunno.” She threw out her hands in ignorance as she lay naked on their bed, her hair in pigtails and their clothes strewn across the floor. They hadn't waited very long, and they were in a hurry before Tracy brought Jane home from an excursion they'd been on.

But when Liz got up and walked across the room, and saw Bernie watching her, she felt self-conscious suddenly, and she pulled his shirt on and covered herself. “Don't look at me …I'm so fat I hate myself.”

“Fat? Are you crazy? You've never looked better. You're gorgeous!” He came over and gently fondled her behind, and then let his hand drift over the cantaloupe with fascination.

“Any idea what it is?” He was curious.

She shrugged with a smile. “It's bigger than Jane was at this point, but that doesn't mean anything.” And then, hopefully, “Maybe it's a boy. That's what you want, isn't it?”

He cocked his head to one side, looking at her. “I don't really think I care. Just so it's okay. When do we go back to the doctor again?”

“Are you really sure you want to do that?” She looked at him worriedly and he was stunned.

“What's happened to you?” And then he understood perfectly. “Has my darling mother been talking to you?” She blushed and then shrugged again, trying to brush it off and explain it at the same time, and he held her close to him. “You're beautiful to me. And I want to share this with you …all of it…the good, the bad, the scary part, the wonder of it all. We both made this child, and now we're both going to share it as much as we can. Is that okay with you?”

She looked relieved and her eyes were bright as she looked at him. “You're sure it won't turn you off forever?” She looked so worried and he laughed, remembering their antics in bed only moments before. He waved at the bed and then kissed her tenderly.

“Did I seem turned off to you?” She giggled happily and hugged him tight.

“Okay …I'm sorry …” And with that, the doorbell rang, and they jumped back into their clothes again as quickly as they could, in time to welcome Tracy and Jane. He tossed the child into the air and showed her all the goodies he'd brought her from France, and it was hours later before Liz and Bernie were alone again.

She curled into bed next to him, and they chatted for a while, about his work, the store, the trip, and the child she was carrying. She seemed more interested in that than anything these days and he didn't mind. It was his baby too, and he was so proud of her. He pulled her into his arms, and they went to sleep, as she purred contentedly beside him.





Chapter 15

Bernie's parents arrived the day after Christmas vacation began, and Liz and Jane drove out to the airport to pick them up. She was five and a half months pregnant by then. And Ruth had brought everything from a layette from Bergdorfs to pamphlets about her health that she had forced Lou to bring her from the hospital. She had advice for her that dated back to her own grandmother, and after a close look at Liz' profile in the baggage claim she announced that it was a boy, which delighted everyone.

They stayed for a week, and then went to Disneyland with Jane, to leave Bernie and Liz alone for their anniversary. They celebrated three nights in a row. On their anniversary they went to L'Etoile, and came home and made love until all hours, the following night they went to a huge charity affair given at the store, and on New Year's Eve they went out with friends, and wound up in the bar at L'Etoile again. They had a wonderful few days, but when Ruth and Lou came back, Ruth told Bernie she thought Liz looked terrible. Pale and tired and worn out. And she'd been complaining of pains in her hips and back for the last month.

“Why don't you take her somewhere?”

“I guess I should.” He'd been working so hard, he hadn't really thought of it, and it was going to be difficult for him this year. The baby was due exactly when he made his usual trip to New York and Europe. He was going to have to put it off until after the baby came, and somehow he had much more to do at the store just then. “I'll see if I can.”

His mother wagged an angry finger at him. “Don't overlook your responsibilities, Bernard.”

And he laughed at her. “Whose mother are you, anyway? Hers or mine?” He felt sorry for Liz sometimes, she had absolutely no family at all, except him, and Jane, and his parents in New York. As aggravating as his mother was at times, it was still nice to know that someone gave a damn about him.

“Don't be so smart. It might do her good to get away before the baby comes.” And for once, he took his mother's advice and took Liz away to Hawaii for a few days, and this time they didn't take Jane, although she pouted at them for several weeks because of it. But he came home from the store with stacks of tropical maternity clothes for her, and the reservations already made. He faced her with a fait accompli and three days later they left. And when they returned, she was brown and healthy and relaxed, and she felt like her old self again. Or almost, except for heart-burn, insomnia, back pains, swollen legs, and increasing fatigue, all of which were normal the doctor said. The pains in her back and hips were the worst, but that was normal too.

“God, Bernie, sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be my old self again.” She had gained more than thirty pounds, and she had two months to go, but she still looked cute to him. Her face had filled out a little bit, but it didn't spoil her looks, she just looked younger than she usually did. And she always looked neat and well dressed. He thought she looked sweet that way, although he was aware that his desire for her was waning. But it didn't seem to be a time for that, although she complained sometimes. He was afraid he would hurt the child, especially if they got too enthusiastic, which they often did. And eventually, Liz didn't care about making love anyway. By the end of March she was so uncomfortable, she could barely move, and she was grateful that she didn't have to go to work anymore. She couldn't have stood another day of trying to stand on her feet, keeping the kids in line, or teaching them simple math or their ABC's.

Her class gave a baby shower for her, and everyone brought something they'd made. She had booties, sweaters, hats, an ashtray, three drawings, a cradle someone's father had built for them, and a tiny pair of wooden shoes, along with all the gifts the other teachers had given her. And of course Bernie brought home more baby clothes from the store every few days. Between what he brought home, and what his mother sent from New York, she had enough for quintuplets at least. But it was fun seeing it all, and now she could hardly wait to get it over with. She was getting nervous about the birth, and she could hardly sleep at night. Instead, she would roam the halls, sit in the living room and knit, watching late-night TV, or go and sit in the baby's room, thinking about what it would be like when the baby was born.