I thanked her as she placed a mug of coffee on the counter for me. I searched the bizarre contents of her refrigerator until I came upon a small carton of milk. It had been hidden behind something that was unidentifiable. I opened the carton and was suddenly overwhelmed. I do not know if it was the stench emanating from the carton or the tequila from last night or a combination of both … but I was about to be sick. I threw the carton into the sink and raced off to the bathroom.

Upon my return to the kitchen I found Allison cleaning up the mess I had made. “I’m so sorry Stephanie.” She apologized profusely meeting my gaze for the first time since we snuggled in bed this morning. “Allison Kendell that refrigerator is a disgrace.” I said trying to regain my composure.

“I know… I know.” She looked down in embarrassment. ” I keep meaning to clean it out. But I never seem to get around to it. Plus I never cook and I drink my coffee black and … and … I’m sorry.”

“Forget it. I used your toothbrush.” I snarled as I retrieved my coffee from the counter.

“That seems fair.” She laughed.

“I think I just switched to black coffee as well.” I said, afraid to ask for some sugar. As I sipped the coffee slowly I braced myself for the bitter after taste. But there wasn’t any just a slight hint of vanilla. I had the impression that Allison was not as inept in the kitchen as would like to appear to be. But then again Oscar Madison had a clean fridge so there goes that theory. “Can I asked you something?”

“Sure.” She responded carefully.

“The music … who is Melissa?” I asked.

“Etheridge… Melissa Etheridge.” She answered with a combination of shock and horror.

“Of course.”

“Don’t you have lesbians in Connecticut?”

“No.” I stated blankly. “We send them all to New York.”

“Humor?” She teased.

We stood there silence as we sipped our coffee each lost in our own thoughts. “I’m sorry Stephanie.” She said finally breaking the uneasy silence. “For?” I responded in confusion.

“Last night … this morning.” She whispered sincerely.

“Why? You are not the one who got drunk and then made a pass at your hostess. Then there is the inflicting of bodily injury and of course throwing up.” I sighed in defeat. “Wait I won’t apologize for throwing up that was definitely your fault. Next time remember that they put expiration dates on things for a reason.”

“Well you can let yourself off the hook for my knee as well. Technically I did that to myself.” She teased.

“While trying to avoid my advances.” I insisted.

“Well at least I did not end up in the emergency room.” She laughed in a vain attempt to lighten the mood. “Could you imagine trying to explain to some poor intern at three in the morning that you tripped over your own pants.”

“The past twenty four hours have been something of a roller coaster ride.” I said absently.

“Poor baby.” She sighed compassionately.

Somehow I knew that at that moment she wanted to touch me. I also knew that I wanted her to do it. The moment passed and she did not reach out to me. “Everything is suddenly very confusing.” I admitted finally praying that she understood what it was that I was trying to say.

“I do not want to cause you anymore confusion.” She spoke with such tenderness. I watched intently as she brushed back a lock of her raven hair. “And I won’t. I would like for us to friends. But if my friendship causes you any problems I could …”

“No.” I interrupted her those blue eyes grew dark. “No your friendship won’t cause me any problems.” I clarified. “Allison I haven’t had very many lasting friendships in my life. I am just starting to realize that it is my fault. I treasure your friendship and I would like to keep it.”

Allison had insisted on driving to campus. Along the drive Allison complained nonstop about having to wear high heels and a skirt. As she ranted I could not help but notice how great she looked. “Why can’t I just stop looking at her? Are you nuts? A blind man could see how hot this woman is. That is so true I may or may not be gay but anyone would stare at those legs that just keep going on and on and … . and on … and …”

“I mean what sick bastard invented these things. Like I’m not tall enough.” Allison continued to bitch about her footwear. There something about Allison that I noticed this morning in addition to her legs. She was going to great lengths to avoid eye contact with me. It was a small thing but even during our first encounter Allison had always maintained direct eye contact. After watching her over the past few weeks I picked up on the fact that she made a point to do this with everyone. Until now. Wow I must have really freaked her out. “Why should she be freaked out? Even if I am a lesbian she has made it quite clear that she is not an option.”

Upon arriving on campus we went directly to our office. How comforting it all sounded, our office …our house. From the other side of the partition that separated our desks I could hear Allison fumbling around. I wanted so desperately to go to her. I pushed the thought from my mind as I dialed the telephone company and made the necessary arrangements to have my new telephone installed. Of course these days there was no actual installation. You buy a new phone and someone somewhere flips a switch. I groaned as the woman on the other end listed my options. I needed to choose a local carrier and a long distance carrier and did I want Internet services, voice mail, caller id and so on. I chose my local and long distance carriers and made a note about the Internet. Not sure if I would need it since I was already on line at my office here on campus. I carefully jotted down my new telephone number as the very pleasant woman read it off. She informed me that my new service would be connected no later than tomorrow afternoon. The woman’s voice was very soothing and I found myself doing what I always did. I tried to picture what she looked like. Suddenly I blushed as this innocent game that I had always played took on a new meaning.

I thanked the woman as she transferred me so I could confirm that I chose my local and long distance carriers freely. Sometimes I missed the days when Ma Bell controlled the world. As I waited patiently I looked over to the couch in the corner of the office. I smiled noting that Allison had made good on her promise and cleaned her side of the office. That alone should irk good old Stan. I finished with the telephone company and made my next call to the cable company. This call did not go as smoothly. Unlike the telephone company there was only one option in certain areas as to who could be your cable provider. The problem came from trying to set up a time. With my schedule we could not agree since they came between the scheduled time and hell freezing over. Frustrated knowing that taking an entire day off at the start of the semester during your first week on the job was very unwise. Allison finally came to the rescue when she shouted over the partition that Mrs. Giavanni could let them in. I shouted my thanks to her and set up an appointment. I knew that my meager belongings would be more than safe under Mrs. Giavanni’s watchful eye.

I hung up and listened to Allison chatting on the telephone to someone in what sounded like French. I sat there twirling my pencil and debated on whether or not to call Peter. I really should call him after all we had not spoken in weeks. What would I say to him? “Hi sweetheart how is work going? Oh by the way I almost cheated on you last night. Oh yeah and I might be gay. What is new with you?” Twenty-four hours ago my only problems consisted of finding a suitable apartment for Peter and myself and beating Allison at tennis. Granted now those problems were history. I found an apartment that was far from suitable for two people and playing tennis with Allison was no longer what I had in mind. “And just who is she speaking French to?”

“Au revoir et n’oubliez pas de me donner un coup de fil.” Allison finished and hung up the telephone.

“I wonder what that means? The Au revoir is pretty simple but … way to focus Stephanie! Stop eavesdropping and call your boyfriend!” My hands were shaking as I dialed the familiar number. “What is wrong with me I am almost thirty three years old. I have a PHD in early American history. I have written five books on the hidden secrets of this nation’s history. So why am I sitting here with sweaty palms terrified at the prospect of talking to my boyfriend of almost six years? This is insane! Maybe hearing his voice will help put things in perspective? Maybe he is busy and I will get his voice mail? Coward!”

“Peter Burton.” He answered cheerfully.

“Damn! I mean Hi Honey.” Smooth Blondie! I watched as Allison made a sudden departure from the office stopping at the coffee table located just outside of our office. Maureen joined her and the two began what seemed to be an animated conversation.

“Steffi Sweetheart!” Peter’s voice beamed through the receiver. “It is so good to finally hear your voice. I was beginning to think that you didn’t love me anymore.”

I could tell that he was teasing but that did not stop the guilt from stabbing at my heart. “I miss you too.” I lied. As the words left my lips it looked as if Allison was about to reenter the office. She turned quickly and rejoined Maureen. “I found an apartment.” I continued realizing that I was about to hurt two very dear people. “But there is some bad news.”

“What is it?” He said quietly.

“Well Peter you see it is like this …” I hesitated unsure of just what to tell him. “It is a studio.” I said quickly knowing that there was no way I was going to do this over the telephone. “It is much too small for two people.” I ended quickly.