J. Salsbury - Fighting to Forgive

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Cut the shit, Gibbs. If we’re going into this together, let’s do it without the piles of lies between us. This deal I’m offering is huge. The cops will back off their investigation of the UFL, of Doc Z, but I need to trust you. So tell me. How did you know?”

He looks around the room as if contemplating my words. “How do I know you won’t fuck me?”

I hold up my hands. “You’ve got the upper hand. It’s the owner of the UFL’s word against the jailbird fighter’s. No one will believe me over you.”

Exhaling a long breath, he shrugs. “It was a business deal. Nothing personal.”

It was personal to me, you son of a fuck! “Right, business. I get it.”

“Lance Armstrong brought bicycling to the forefront with his blood doping. I thought I could do the same.”

My temper threatens to overcome my restraint. If I blow this now, I’m back to Internet searches for doctor that doesn’t exist. I bite back my rage. “But blood doping and steroids is bad publicity.”

His lips curl into an evil smile. “No such thing as bad publicity.”

It takes every bit of my energy to fake a grin. His answering chuckle tells me he bought it. I still need more.

“I get it wasn’t personal, but why me?”

“Wrong place at the wrong time. We could have doped up one of the other fighters with oral steroids, but you needed the cortisone. That helped. I would have waited until the perfect opportunity arose, but your fight was right around the corner so…” He shrugs. “I thought we’d have to wait until you got tested before your fight. It was Stewart’s idea to provoke you into a fight at Layla’s place. As over-doped as you were, he was convinced he could get you to roid rage. Doc Z told him you were getting close to that on your own. He provided the push. I want you to know, I didn’t agree to that. I thought the steroids was enough, but he wanted retribution for you banging his wife.”

“I appreciate your honestly, Gibbs.” I stand, unable to take another word from his backstabbing mouth. The steroids are leaching from my system, so I no longer have the urge to rip off people’s limbs, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to beat this fucker’s ass bloody.

He stands and moves around his desk. “I’m glad you came to me, Blake. Now that everything’s out on the table, I think we’ll be able to spin this to our benefit, as well as to the UFL’s.” He offers his hand.

I smile and shake his hand. “I agree.” Yanking his arm, I grab him behind the head and smash his face into the corner of his desk.

He grunts and cups his face. Blood spills from his nose.

“Spin that, bitch.” I turn and walk to the door just as it opens.

Undercover cops file into the room, yelling for Taylor’s cooperation. Lieutenant Hodgeson is waiting outside, leaning on Layla’s desk. He pops the earpiece from his ear. “Easy enough?”

I rip the mic from my chest and hand the equipment to him. “Yep. Just uh… be careful.” I point over my shoulder. “The floor in the office is uneven or something. Gibbs tripped and busted his face up.”

He raises his eyebrows but doesn’t call me out. “I’ll make sure to watch where I step.” Shifting slightly, he spots the picture of Axelle and picks it up. “Pretty girl.”

“She is. Just like her mother.”

“Well, looks like we’re all done here. I’m sure your lawyer will be in touch with the details.” He hands me the framed photo. “Looks like you got your life back, Snake.”

My life, yes.

But not my heart.

Layla

I can breathe again. After getting Stewart’s confession, I went home and slept for fifteen hours. Setting up my ex in a covert undercover operation with the LVPD was exhausting. But knowing he’s in custody where he’ll pay the price for what he did to me, and to Blake, makes it easier to relax.

It’s three in the afternoon when I venture to my kitchen for food. Axelle finally went out with Cara, leaving me alone to marinate in the silence. I know that her getting back to her social life doesn’t equal healing. That’ll take time, if it’s even possible.

Learning that the man she’s known as dad her entire life is not only a liar but also a gang-rapist isn’t something she’ll get over anytime soon. I’d offered to hunt down her biological father, to have blood tests done, but she refused. Not wanting to push her too hard too soon, I decided to give her the space she needs to process. Maybe in a few years, even though she swears she’ll never want to know, she’ll change her mind.

I’m still coming to terms with the way Axelle was conceived. Anger, betrayal, and confusion all fight for control in my head. But none of them comes close to the guilt. I regret that I didn’t see through Stewart’s true intentions before I gave him my life, and I’m ashamed because I couldn’t protect Axelle from the ramifications of my horrible decisions. I see years of therapy in our future, but the prospect isn’t daunting. It’s comforting. Because in that future there’s no Stewart. There’s only us.

Only us.

I take a deep breath past the smothering sadness that has been my constant companion. I miss Blake. I’ve worried about what he must be going through. He lost his reputation, his career, everything he’s worked hard to accomplish.

All because of me.

Rummaging through my cupboards, I think back to that night in his music room. The despondent look on his face when he explained his reason for hiding his gift. He was forced to downplay and lock away his natural talent in order to protect himself. Even as an adult, he hides his music from his friends, all because he’s afraid that at any moment something will steal it away.

Then I come along and do exactly that. Rob him of the thing he loves most.

His fighting.

No longer hungry, I give up my search for food. My head is heavy, and I contemplate going back to bed for the next few days. Sitting at the kitchen table, I rub my temples. “I’m going to need a new job.”

Chances are I’ll be fired when the UFL’s parent company gets wind of my involvement in Gibbs’s arrest. I can’t afford to go more than a week without income, and even that’s a stretch. Lucky for me, Vegas has a lot of opportunities. An online job search should keep my mind busy for a few—knock, knock.

I stare at my front door. Who the hell could be stopping by? I finally charged my phone but haven’t checked for missed calls since I woke up.

“Who is it?” I make no move to stand. If it’s a door-to-door salesman, I don’t want to exert the effort.

“Open the door, bitch.” Eve’s unmistakable voice filters clearly through my open kitchen window. “You can run, but you can’t hide.”

“You’re going to freak her out.” Raven’s hissed words make me grin… “Layla, it’s us. We’re just checking up, wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“Don’t lie, Rave.” Eve’s attempt at a whisper fails. “We’re taking you out. So let us in. Holding all these hangers is killing my fingers.”

“Eve, stop being so pushy,” Raven says.

I’m covering my mouth, laughing my ass off. These two will never leave, and if I know Eve, she’ll take extreme measures if I don’t comply.

“You haven’t seen pushy yet. But if she doesn’t open this door in the next three seconds, I’ll bust it—”

I scramble up from the table and fling open the door. “No, don’t. I’m here—Ompf!”

Raven tackle-hugs me. “Oh my gosh, Layla. Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” She stands back and holds my shoulders, checking me over. “Are you okay? You look okay. Tired maybe, but okay.”

Eve kicks the door shut and strolls past us, both of her arms weighed down with what looks like an entire wardrobe.

“I’m fine. Sorry about my phone. It died, and I finally got around to charging it.”

Her blue-green eyes continue to take me in from face to feet. “I think you need to get out.” She grabs my hand and drags me to my room, where Eve has laid hangers and hangers of clothes on my unmade bed.

“No, I don’t feel like going out.” I lean up against my dresser, eyeing the fabulous dresses and outfits that they brought over. I cross my arms, hoping they see it as a sign of defiance rather than what it really is. Me wanting to tear through those clothes like Bridezilla at a wedding gown sale.

“Uh-uh. I didn’t pull a muscle dragging all this shit up here to be told you don’t feel like going out.” Eve rubs her shoulder, grimacing. “So get your ass in a shower and let’s do this.”

Raven sits on the edge of the bed, pleading with her eyes. “Come on, Layla. It’ll be good for you. A night out with the girls, a few drinks, some laughs… what do ya say?”

That actually does sound nice. I could use a few drinks. And after my extended nap, I don’t see myself falling back to sleep anytime soon.

I shrug. “That could be fun.”

“She’s in.” Eve spins me toward my shower. “Now go get cleaned up, and then we’ll help you pick out something to wear. Lord knows there’s plenty to choose from.”

“Thanks, guys.” I leave Eve at my bathroom door, shutting it enough for privacy but leaving it cracked so we can talk. I flip on the hot water and strip down. “Where are we going anyway? I heard there’s a fun wine bar at The Cosmopolitan.”

“Oh, um… we thought we’d go somewhere a little more relaxed,” Raven hollers from my bedroom.

Relaxed sounds good.

“Just tell her,” Eve says loud enough for me to hear.

That doesn’t sound good.

I wrap a towel around my naked body and stomp into my room. Both girls are standing just a foot away from each other, locked in a heated whispered discussion.