AMBER DID her best to keep her mind occupied for the rest of the long evening. She bathed Taylor, then read her stories, even though the baby was far more interested in chewing on the pages than listening to the words.

She even tried to do some of her own work. Nothing satisfied her and her mind drifted.

To Dax.

Desperate to distract herself, she flipped on the television, then stood riveted in horror. The downtown fire was live on all the local channels.

The flames weren’t contained. Even worse, there were still people trapped on the higher levels. The city had put out the desperate call for help to neighboring counties, and though that help was on the way, for many it would be too late.

She knew Dax would never stand on the sidelines. He’d be there, in the thick of that heat, fighting for those people’s lives.

Glued to the screen, she lost track of time, chewing on her nails as she hadn’t done since she was a child. When the roof of the building collapsed, she leaped to her feet, then kneeled before the television, her heart in her throat.

Three firefighters were reported missing.

She waited and waited, but they didn’t give any more information, not the identities of the men or their conditions, not even after the fire was contained and then, eventually, extinguished.

No longer able to stand the not knowing, Amber turned to the phone, just as it rang.

“Honey, it’s Emily McCall.”

“Oh, thank goodness. Do you think you could watch Taylor for me? I have to go down.”

“Oh, Amber, listen-”

“I have to go, I have to know-”

“I know, I know. But he’s okay. He’s not hurt. That’s why I’m calling.”

The relief was so overwhelming, Amber couldn’t breathe. “You’re sure?”

“Thomas drove down there when this mess first started, he just called me.”

Dax was okay.

Amber’s limbs started to shake in reaction and she collapsed onto the couch.

Emily’s voice was thick with tears. “I worry about him so much. I can hear in your voice you worried, too.”

“Yes. He-We-I…” She blew out a breath and tried again. “It was awful, the not knowing. I tried to imagine…Taylor needs him.”

“Of course she does. What about her mother?”

“I need him, too,” she said, meaning every word. “So much.”

“He’s my life,” Emily said simply. “And so is your daughter. I’m so thankful we’re all together.”

The guilt that stabbed at Amber wasn’t new. She felt as though she had stolen Taylor’s first three months from Dax and his family and now, only a few short weeks later, couldn’t imagine how she had done it.

Or why.

Her reasons for wanting to be alone hadn’t made sense for hours now.

“Why don’t you bring me that sweet little baby?” Emily suggested. “Then you can decide what to do.”

“About what?”

Emily’s voice was hushed, as if she kept a huge secret. “Well, I shouldn’t say anything.” This spoken in the hopeful tone of someone who wanted to be pressed.

“Please.”

“Well, you know I pride myself on letting my children lead their own lives. I don’t mean to be nosy.”

If she hadn’t been in such shock, Amber might have laughed. It was common knowledge among Dax’s family exactly how wonderfully, purposely nosy Emily could be.

“But as long as you’re asking,” she said slyly. “I was hoping maybe you had something to tell me. That maybe you and Dax were going to…oh, I don’t know. Get married?”

Oh Lord. “Mrs. McCall-”

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Emily interrupted with a laugh. “Let’s not go backward here. You called me Emily at the party.”

“Okay. Emily-”

“Or you could just go ahead and get used to calling me Mom.”

Amber’s emotions were in such a tailspin, she had no control left with which to handle this situation. “I’m sorry,” she managed. “But as far as wedding bells, I don’t have anything to tell.”

“He hasn’t asked you to marry him?” Emily’s disappointment sang through the line. “That boy! I taught him better than that-”

“No, no, it’s not…” How to explain that she had screwed everything up? That there was every chance Dax no longer wanted her? “It’s not his fault.”

“You don’t want him?”

“This is very complicated. I can’t seem to think straight.”

“Of course you can’t! Where’s my head, pressing you to talk to me before you’re ready. Maybe you haven’t even decided if you like me-”

Now Amber did laugh. Emily McCall could wear down a saint. “I like you, very much,” she assured the older woman. “It’s just that-”

“That you don’t think of me as your family yet.” Emily sniffed, clearly insulted. “I understand.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t owe me anything.”

“Emily, please. I think you’re an amazing woman.”

“You do?” Pleasure quickly replaced hurt. “Really?”

“Yes.” It had never been easy for Amber to share herself, but for some reason, the words came now. “I think the way you love your family is beautiful.”

“It’s no more than any mother would do.”

Maybe it was the late hour or the emotions of the day, but suddenly it was easy for Amber to admit the truth. “Not any mother.”

“Not yours?”

Emily’s sympathy and pity didn’t frighten her as she thought it would. “Definitely not mine. But I used to dream about it, and if I could have drawn my mother the way I wanted her to be, she would have been just like you.”

“Oh darling, now you’re really going to make me cry.”

“Don’t you dare.” Amber laughed through her own impending tears. “You’ll get me started. And after what we’ve been through this evening, I may never stop.”

“Dax is careful, you know. He’s the best at what he does.”

He was the best at everything he set his mind to. His work. Fatherhood. She could only imagine what a husband he’d make. The warm glow that came from that thought no longer surprised her.

“I imagine you have a lot on your mind,” Emily said. “Especially with the thought of babies and marriage and all the like.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be nosy.”

“Oh, you.” But Emily had the good grace to laugh at herself. “You already have my number. Just like all my children.” Her voice went stern and demanding. “Now bring me Taylor. You go to my boy.”

IN THE END, Amber didn’t drop off Taylor, figuring Dax would want to see her. He seemed to thrive on any opportunity to do so.

Plus she needed Taylor to hold, needed to feel that small, warm bundle of life against her, reminding her that no matter what happened with Dax, she mattered to someone.

Dax had given her a key to his house, insisting he didn’t want her waiting for him outside if he was ever late when they were supposed to meet. Amber had felt uncomfortable with that, had assumed she would never use it, but it came in handy now.

Less than one minute after she arrived, Dax pulled into the driveway, setting her nerves to leaping. Head down, shoulders tense, he opened the front door and stepped inside. As if he sensed her, he stilled and slowly raised his head to reveal a weary, hollow face.

When he saw her his eyes warmed. So did Amber’s heart.

13

“HEY.” DAX acknowledged her, but he didn’t move into the room.

Amber’s nervousness tripled. Was he bothered by the fact that she’d let herself in? Was he sorry he’d given her his key?

Why didn’t he say something, anything? “I hope you don’t mind,” she found herself saying awkwardly.

With an audible sigh, he kicked off his shoes.

“I…used the key you gave me.”

He dropped his jacket where he stood and the leather hit the floor with a thud.

“Taylor’s here, too.” She felt stupid and intrusive, but a search of his expression told her nothing. A first. “Your mom offered to baby-sit, but I thought you’d want to see her.”

He rolled his head on his neck, winced and then sighed again.

“If you’re too tired, I’ll just…”

He spoke then, though the words were muffled by the sweatshirt he was pulling off over his head. “I’m never too tired for Taylor.” He tossed the sweatshirt aside, his words in direct opposition to the exhaustion on his face. “Or you, for that matter.”

“Because I could just scoop her up and leave…”

He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. “Didn’t you just get here?”

“Yes.”

His face was bleak, his eyes red-rimmed, and his big, tough body so weary she imagined he was standing on his feet by sheer force of will. “I saw everything on the news,” she said. She watched as he dumped out the contents of his pockets into a small bowl on the low table in the entry.

His silence was killing her.

“I couldn’t tear myself away from the television,” she added.

He nodded and rubbed his eyes, but still didn’t speak. Her heart was racing so fast she didn’t know what to do.

“When the roof collapsed-” she drew a shaky breath “-and those firefighters fell through the gaping hole…”

He flinched and her heart ached at the stark pain she saw so clearly in his eyes. “Oh, Dax.”

He hadn’t stepped toward her, hadn’t really looked at her, not once. He hadn’t made one move that told her how he felt about her being there. “Would you rather I go?”

“Actually, I’m hoping you’re going to tell me the real reason you’re here.”

“I…I thought…I just wanted to be.”

He came toward her, his face still bleak and grim, but now there was something new in his gaze. He stopped a mere foot away from her. “I’ve never known you to stutter.”

“I don’t. N-n-not-” Ruthlessly she bit her tongue. “Not usually anyway.” Frustrated, she reached up to shove back a loose strand of hair at the exact same moment his fingers came up to tuck it behind her ear. His hand slid over hers and he brought those joined hands to his chest. “You’ve been biting your nails. A new habit?”