E. Blair - Falling

She gives me a confused look when I clarify, “It’s for Ana.”

Her smile is warm, and when Bailey hops off of her lap, she folds her legs underneath herself as she gently unwraps the paper. Pulling out the sleek, brown leather, designer cat collar, her smile grows, showing off her sexy dimple.

“The collar isn’t the real gift,” I tell her. “Look at the tag, babe.”

Laying her palm flat underneath the gold tag, she reads the name I had engraved on it: Tatiana Campbell.

“Campbell?” she questions slowly with a wary eye before asking, “So we’re keeping her?”

“We’re keeping her.”

She wraps her arms tightly around my neck, laughing with excitement. “Thank you.”

I laugh at her demeanor, planting a couple kisses below her ear, and when she pulls back to look at the collar again, Tori snatches it and teases, “This is a really nice leather collar.”

“I would have tied yarn around its neck, but I saw Candace drooling over this collar when she dragged me into some frou-frou pet store.”

Eying Candace, she cocks a brow at her. “Really?”

“Don’t make fun of me. I think it’s sophisticated,” she defends.

“That’s what’s so funny about this,” she jokes as she hands the collar back to her. “I’ve got to meet this cat if Ryan was willing to bestow his last name on her,” she jokes with laughter.

“You should see the small four-post bed Candace bought her. It’s ridiculous,” I tell Tori.

She turns back to Candace, and says, “So Ryan has a tiny four-post kitty bed in his bedroom?”

Candace nods her head with a grin and Tori adds, “God, I love what you’re doing to him.”

Narrowing my eyes at her, I defend, “She didn’t give me a choice. I came home from the bar one day and there it was.”

“Regardless, it’s still there.”

“It’s really cute,” Candace tells her, and I laugh when I reiterate, “It’s a four-post bed!”

“Oh my God, you guys,” Tori bursts out laughing, and we all join in, even Candace, at the absurdity of it all. But in the end, my girl is happy and that’s all that matters. She’s never had a pet, and she adores having Tatiana.

Once the living room is completely demolished and littered in paper, my mom has everyone get the kids dressed and ready for the day while I do a clean sweep of the place. Candace takes a moment to call Jase and check in with him and Mark.

“I got her and Jase a little something for Christmas,” Mom tells me as we take out all the trash.

“Mom—”

“I know, but I saw this cooking school that is down the street from your loft, and after seeing how much Jase likes to cook when he was here in July, I thought they would have fun taking a few lessons together.”

We start heading back inside when I turn to her and say, “She’s gonna love it. So will Jase. He’s been coming over whenever he has free time and has tried teaching her a few things.”

“Any luck?” she asks with a smile.

“We wind up going out,” I admit with a light chuckle. “Thanks, Mom.”

Walking back inside, Candace is standing over by the windows, looking out at the ocean. I step up from behind and slip my arms around her shoulders, resting my chin on top of her head. “Whatcha doing?”

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Last Christmas.”

Lifting my chin, I run my hands down her arms, and when she turns to face me, she says, “Thank you.”

“What for?”

She wraps her arms around my waist as I cradle her face. “For being so patient with me.”

“You may be slow to open up and hard to read, but you’re not the type of girl you wanna rush anything with. I want every slow second.”

When she lifts up onto her toes to kiss me, I pick her up off the floor as we seal our lips together, both realizing how far we’ve come since last year.

Candace and I decide to get bundled up and take a long walk down the beach alone, taking our time while the mist floats its way down from the dark, grey sky. We don’t talk much, just keep close, stealing kisses along the way. When we finally get back to the house, Candace stays with my mom for most of the day in the kitchen, cooking, while I hang out with the kids, keeping them busy and out of trouble.

After dinner, everyone is getting ready for bed when Candace and I decide to do a replay of last year. When everyone finally heads to bed, we pile a bunch of pillows and blankets onto the living room floor in front of the fireplace, and then find an old black and white to watch.

We lie down, and I snuggle her into my arms, but this time, I can kiss her whenever I want, so I do. We make it through ‘Swing Time,’ and I think this one makes it to the top of Candace’s favorites so far, but I figured it would since it’s a love story about dancers. She keeps glued to the TV, but when ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’ comes on next, our eyes drift from the screen to each other’s. It’s after midnight, and we begin to grow tired as we lie here face to face.

Candace slides her hand along my jaw before she presses her lips to mine. Running my hand down her back, I pull her in tight against me. She begins to bury her hands in my hair when I slip past her lips and revel in the sweet taste of her mouth. I fumble my hand in the blanket until I find the remote and shut off the TV, the only light coming from the burning logs in the fireplace.

I’m overwhelmed with her. Having her like this when a year ago I was so nervous around her. Now all I want is what we have. She’s given me everything I thought I never wanted. She’s given it in her own way, but the most perfect way for me. I used to be so disconnected and cold, but with her . . . she’s taught me how to be soft because I can’t be any other way with her. I never knew how much I needed that until I had her. It’s because of her that I no longer worry about the fears that plagued me throughout my life. She showed me what it meant to provide for someone else. She’s always been my priority. I never even had to think about it; she always was. And to see how happy she was today, I know I’m able to give her what she needs. That I can love, and I can do it well. It’s because of her that I’m the man I never thought I could be, and she makes it so easy to do.

I’m never gonna stop wanting her—I know that. From the broken girl in the coffee shop on that rainy Halloween night to the vibrant girl who owns that stage at McCaw Theater every time she dances, I want every version of her—forever. I’ve never known beauty until her. I’ve never known how good life could be until her.

As I slowly drag my lips away from hers, she opens her eyes as she rests her head next to mine on the pillow. She runs her small hand from my shoulder down to my chest where she keeps it, and I wrap my hand around hers. Her soft skin glows in the flicker of the fire as I stare into her hazel eyes, and I see everything I’ll ever want to see. It’s all within her. She holds every part of me, and it’s in this very moment that I feel it. It floods inside of me. A peace that only she can bring me.

No doubt. No questioning. No hesitation.

“Marry me.”

“Marry me.”

His softest words are the most powerful and hit hard inside of my heart as it begins to race when shock takes it over.

“What?” I softly whisper because he’s caught me so off guard with his question that my mind is spinning.

“Marry me,” he repeats with a clarity I can’t deny. With a certainty I’ve always depended on him for. He’s the warmth I draw my strength from. My safe place to rest my head when it won’t stop torturing me.

Each word falls right through me, and all I can do is give him a nod of my head.

His smile is perfection as he covers me in it, kissing me with his whole heart. The only heart that has been able to unravel me. The heart that showed me my heart could still breathe when I felt as if it was suffocating. He walked right inside of me and brought me back to life. He promised me he wouldn’t let me fade. I didn’t believe him at the time, but he fought for me. I thought I’d lost who I was, but with each day, he gives me a piece of my old self back. A playfulness I thought was gone. A happiness I never thought I’d feel again. A security I thought was forever stolen from me.

When he pulls back, his face is intent, looking straight through me to my core as he says, “Tell me, babe. Give me the words.”

Taking his face in my hands, I can’t hold in my emotions when the tears slip out. “Let’s get married.”

He pulls me to his chest as he loops his arm behind my knees, cradling me in his hold as he picks me up. The giggles slip out, the pure reflection of joy as he carries me upstairs to his room, shutting the door behind him. Laying me down in bed, he crawls over me and pulls the sheets over us.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispers against my skin as he runs his hand underneath my top and gently squeezes my breast.

“I’ve only ever loved you,” I pant as he slowly grazes my nipple with his thumb.

His lips find my neck, and he begins to kiss and nibble his way down as he grabs the hem of my shirt and slips it off of me. I know what he wants, and I want to give it to him, but knowing the house is full of people, my nerves take over.

“Ryan, wait.”

Lifting his head, he looks down at me and reads me well when he says, “Baby, I wanna make love to you.”

“But—”

“You’re all that exists for me right now,” he tells me, and my eyes fall shut with his words.

His warm lips cover mine, and I let go of the worry, handing it over to him because I know he’ll always take care of me. Running his kisses down the center of my chest, he moves to my breast and drags his tongue over the lace bra that’s still covering me. The sensation is powerful as he gently sucks my nipple into the heat of his mouth. He takes his hand and slides it behind me, unhooking my bra and dropping it to the floor. Ryan stares down at me, then meets my eyes, saying, “I never knew it could be like this.”