‘Then again, who could blame you?’ Picking up the fruit-scented soaps, sniffing them and pulling a face, Kate said, ‘If someone gave me this lot as a thank you present, I’d cry too.’

Chapter 19

In the Peach Tree, Juliet was writing out price labels and Maddy was on the floor unpacking a fresh consignment of plum chutney when the door clanged open and Jake erupted into the shop.

‘Sorry,’ said Maddy, ‘no winos, no undesirables, we’re a classy establishment, we are—’

‘Do me a favour, just go and sit in my workshop. When a blonde in a red MG asks where I am, tell her I’m out delivering a casket. Move,’ said Jake, grabbing hold of Maddy like a rag doll and hauling her to her feet.

Ooch, pins and needles .. .

‘Say please.’

‘ Please.’

‘ And you’ll do dinner tonight,’ prompted Maddy, whose turn it was to cook.

‘OK, fine, just go.’

Laughing, Maddy sauntered out and across the hot dusty road. As Jake hovered at the back of the shop, Juliet peered through the window.

‘Who is it this time?’

‘Her name’s Emma. Luckily I was inside the workshop when she drove past, so she didn’t spot me. God knows what she’s doing here now. I thought she was in court today.’

Juliet’s dark eyes widened. ‘What did she do?’

‘She’s a stalker.’ Grinning, Jake said, ‘Actually, a solicitor.’

‘She’s pulling up now,’ Juliet reported as the scarlet MG, having completed its U-turn, slowed to a halt outside Jake’s workshop. ‘Honestly, Jake, you are hopeless. If you don’t want to see her, why don’t you just tell the poor girl? Put her out of her misery.’

‘I have told her! She won’t take no for an answer! We only went out a couple of times. I didn’t even sleep with her,’ Jake protested.

‘Really?’

‘I didn’t! And I told her it was over last week, really nicely.’

‘ Let me guess,’ said Juliet. ‘You’re a great girl, Emma, it’s not you, it’s me. All the usual tosh.’

‘Well, yes.’ Jake looked hurt. ‘What’s wrong with that? I can hardly say it’s not me, it’s you, can I? Anyway, I gave it my best shot, thought I’d done a good job. But she won’t accept it, she keeps phoning me, it’s really awkward, and she drove past the cottage last night.’

‘Maddy’s talking to her now,’ Juliet announced. ‘She’s pointing over here ... Crikey, Emma’s heading this way, she’s taking a knife out of her handbag.’

‘You’re not serious.’

‘Of course I’m not serious. Ha, had you going though, serves you right for being so irresistible.’ Clearly amused, Juliet moved away from the window. ‘It’s OK, Emma’s climbing back into her car. She’s driving off now. You’re safe. And who said you could have that?’ She eyed the apricot Danish Jake had filched from the glass cabinet.

‘Stress makes me hungry. God, why does life have to be so complicated?’ grumbled Jake.

‘That’s what happens when you’re a professional love rat.

Go around breaking girls’ hearts and you’ll get grief,’ Juliet said cheerfully. ‘That’s just the way it goes. Maybe it’s time you thought about meeting someone nice and settling down.’

Had she and Maddy been discussing him behind his back?

‘Pot, kettle.’ Swallowing a mouthful of Danish, Jake gave her a pointed look. ‘Anyway, speaking of girls getting their hearts broken, what’s Maddy playing at? Has she told you who she’s seeing?’ He made it sound as if he knew but was wondering if Juliet had been let in on the secret.

No,’ Juliet lied, perfectly well aware that Jake didn’t know and would certainly hit the roof if he did. ‘Just that he’s married. Here she comes now,’ she added. ‘And don’t nag her about it, OK?

Because nagging won’t help.’

Jake had already guessed that Juliet would be on Maddy’s side. Tiff’s father had been a married man. Beyond that, no details were known; he and Juliet may have been friends for years, but Juliet had remained resolutely silent on the subject. Privately, Jake wondered how anyone, married or otherwise, could have dumped Juliet.

‘All sorted.’ Maddy, looking pleased with herself, reentered the shop and sat back down cross-legged on the floor in front of her jars of plum chutney.

‘Well? What happened?’ said Jake.

‘I told her you’d been battling with your sexuality.’ Jake choked on his Danish pastry. ‘Excuse me?’

‘But that you’d reached a decision at last, and from now on you were only going to go out with people with hairy chests.’

‘You’re joking.’ Juliet’s eyes sparkled. ‘And she actually believed you?’

‘I’m not joking at all,’ said Maddy, ‘and no, of course she didn’t believe me, but it did the trick. She said, "Jake doesn’t want to see me any more, does he?" and I said, "Sorry, no he doesn’t." So she did that wobbly-lip thing and said, "I thought we had something special together," and I said, "Trust me, he’s not worth it, he’s not special at all."‘

‘Thanks,’ said Jake.

‘You’re welcome. So after that Emma said, "Tell him 1 won’t phone him again, I promise, but he’s got my number if he changes his mind." Then she climbed back into her car and drove off, still trying not to cry. So there you go,’ Maddy concluded cheerfully, ‘I’ve done your dirty work for you. I think we’ll have lasagne tonight.’

Jake, who knew when he was beaten, turned to Juliet. ‘Fancy bringing Tiff over? If I’m making lasagne, may as well make a big one.’

‘Great,’ said Juliet, because lasagne was Jake’s signature dish. ‘I’ll bring a bottle. What time, sevenish?’

‘Actually, can we eat earlier than that?’ Maddy did her best to sound casual. ‘I’m going out at seven.’

Opening his mouth to say something caustic, Jake caught Juliet’s look of warning and closed it again.

‘Fine. We’ll lock the kids in the attic and have a romantic candlelit evening together, just the two of us.’ Winking at Maddy, he said, ‘She won’t be able to resist me.’

‘Or,’ Juliet said prosaically, ‘we could play Scrabble.’

‘ Oof,’ Kate gasped as the small boy, barrelling round the corner of the pub, ran full tilt into her stomach.

Tiff, staggering backwards in the wake of the impact, gazed up in horror at Kate and wailed, ‘Oh no, my ice cream!’

The chocolate ice cream he’d been clutching had ricocheted out of his hand and landed with a soft phut on the pavement, the cornet sticking out like Pinocchio’s nose.

It served him right, of course, but that was boys for you. Kate found herself feeling quite sorry for him.

‘You shouldn’t have been running so fast,’ she said kindly, because tears were now welling up in the boy’s blue eyes. She didn’t see why she should have to buy him another one, it wasn’t her fault after all, but in all likelihood she probably would. ‘It’s OK, don’t cry — oh, look at Norris, he’s such a pig.’

Smiling nicely to cheer the boy up, she nodded at Norris, who was enthusiastically slurping away at the ice cream and chomping up the cone.

‘I-I’m sorry,’ the boy whispered, backing away from Kate in dismay.

She knew who he was. He belonged to Juliet Price, who ran the delicatessen. His name was Tiff, that was it, and he spent most of his time with Jake’s daughter Sophie. With his messy white-blond hair and startlingly bright eyes, he was actually rather sweet looking. Abruptly, it dawned on Kate that the cause of his terror could be the sight of her own scarred face. Hurriedly she dug into her back pocket for a couple of pound coins. Determined to show him she wasn’t as scary as she looked, she said encouragingly, ‘Here, don’t worry, I’ll get you an even better ice cream — aaarrghh!’

Belatedly glancing down, Kate discovered the real reason for the boy’s agitation. The front of her trousers was sporting a brown stain the size of a baked potato, com plete with splatter marks and drips all down one leg. She gazed at the mess in paralysed disbelief. This couldn’t have happened while she was wearing her usual jeans, could it? Oh no, of course not, because life didn’t work that way, did it? Instead, it had to happen on the one day she was wearing her brand new cream linen John Galliano trousers.

Kate’s head felt as if it might explode with the effort it took not to scream and hurl abuse.

‘Had a bit of an accident, have we?’ Dexter Nevin, emerging from the pub, eyed Kate’s trousers with ill-concealed amusement.

‘They’re Galliano.’ Kate spat the words through gritted teeth. ‘I bought them in Bloomingdale’s.’

‘Ah well.’ Dexter shrugged easily. ‘I’m more of a Next man myself.’

‘They cost a fortune.’

‘ I said s-sorry.’ Tiff turned fearfully to Dexter. ‘It was an accident, I promise.’

‘Oh, for crying out loud.’ Before he had a chance to burst into fully-fledged sobs, Kate shoved the pound coins into the boy’s hand. ‘Just be more careful next time, OK?’

‘I thought you were going to kick him,’ said Dexter when Tiff had disappeared in a cloud of dust.

‘Don’t think I wasn’t tempted.’ Kate grimaced. ‘But you’d only have called the NSPCC.’

‘If you come inside, I’ll lend you a cloth.’

‘Oh yes, that’ll do the trick.’ Kate sighed. ‘A nice greasy dishcloth, that’ll really work. OK, stop it, it’s all gone now,’ she told Norris, who was greedily Hoovering up the last remnants of ice cream with a slurp and a flourish.

‘You never know, we might be able to rustle up a clean dishcloth,’ Dexter said mildly. ‘You can bring him in with you, you know. We’re a dog-friendly pub.’

‘You don’t say. I didn’t think you were anything-friendly.’