“Sometimes what we think we want isn’t necessarily what’s right for us though.”
She frowned at him. “What do you know about it?”
“I don’t know anything about practicing law. But I know that you showed up here all pale and scrawny and immediately passed out on the lawn.”
“Scrawny!”
He grinned. “Sorry. I take that back. You do look kinda thin, but you know I think you’re gorgeous. But you’ve been having panic attacks and you don’t have time for fun or exercise. That’s not healthy for you. You don’t even apparently have time for family since you weren’t even going to come up here this week.”
She didn’t mention the headaches and stomach troubles she’d been experiencing for months. “It’s what I’ve been working for my whole working life.”
“No reason you can’t change direction.”
“I don’t want to change direction. This is what I want.”
“So you see yourself working at that law firm for the rest of your life? What’s the name of it? Dewey Cheatham & Howe?”
She blinked, then burst out laughing. “Oh my god. It’s Ingram Howell Grant. And yeah, I guess I do.”
“What about a family? Getting married and having kids.”
“I can do both.”
“Of course you can, but will they support you in that? From what you’ve said, it didn’t sound like they were all that supportive of you taking time off to be with your mom when she was sick. Will it be any different when you have kids?”
She couldn’t answer that. There weren’t a lot of female role models at Ingram Howell Grant. “I’ll be a ground breaker,” she said. “Once I’m partner, they’ll have to respect me and what I need.”
“Oh yeah?” He lifted an eyebrow. “You think that’s going to change just because you make partner? How do they make you feel now? Like a future partner? Or like you’re a production machine? Do you feel valued? Or like you could be replaced?”
She didn’t like those questions, and she had a sneaking suspicion it was because she wouldn’t like the answers.
“Do they expect you to always choose the firm over your personal life?”
“They say they respect work-life balance. And that sometimes personal things take priority. But…” She stopped, remembering the resentment she’d sensed when she’d taken time off to be with her mom, despite the words that had been said.
“Do you respect the senior partners at the firm?”
“Of course I do.” Except when they went golfing and dumped work on her desk. “Oh just drop it, Tag,” she said crossly. “I’m not all up in your business. I could ask you the same questions. You seemed pretty stressed last weekend. You didn’t want to come up here either.”
“I wanted to. I wasn’t sure if I could. Yeah, I’ve been a little stressed with this whole move and the fact that we had a crappy season last year. I’m part of the team and I’m responsible for that and now coming back here, I know I have a big role to play in the PR aspects of it. But here’s the difference…I love it. I love what I’m doing. I completely respect my new coach and the new team owners. Like you, I’ve worked my whole life for this, but I still love what I’m doing, every minute of it. And I’m not sure you do.” He bent his head. “I’ll admit there have been times in my life I’ve been scared about what I’d be able to do if I couldn’t play hockey anymore. It’s good to be single-minded and focused on what you want, but that made me think―what if that’s taken away from you? Because it can happen in a heartbeat. For me it could be a bad check—a head injury or my knee destroyed again.” She remembered he’d been out for months a couple of years ago with a knee injury.
“Don’t say that,” she said, for some reason her stomach cramping at the thought of Tag being hurt.
“It could happen. I have to face reality. For you, it could be going back to the city and discovering they named someone else partner. Then what would you do?”
She didn’t know. She hadn’t even wanted to consider what would happen if she didn’t make partner. Would she stay on at the firm? Go somewhere else and start all over? What would be the odds of making partner somewhere else? “I don’t know,” she said quietly.
“I also have to face the reality that my hockey career is going to end a long time before your law career will. Then what will I do?”
She looked at him. “You’re pretty practical, aren’t you?”
“That makes me sound boring.”
She moved her head side to side. “No, you’re hardly boring, Tag.” Not boring. Right now he was being annoyingly thought-provoking. He was making her think about things she’d been pushing to the back of her mind.
“Who’s your competition?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I know how competitive you are. Is there someone else competing for partnership?”
She lowered her chin and regarded him. “Yes. But that’s not what it’s about!”
“Isn’t it? You’ve been competitive your whole life, Kyla. I’ve seen you do things you didn’t really want to just to fit in with the guys, just to compete with us.”
Her insides burned all the way up to her throat. She swallowed.
“I admire that about you,” he continued softly. “You’re determined and strong. You always have been. I have no doubt you’ll succeed at this. I just think you need to take a step back and consider if it’s really what you want.” He smiled. “I’ve seen how happy your mom has been this week with her three kids and her grandchildren around. Family’s important.”
“You don’t spend much time at home.”
He eyed her curiously. “Forechecking, Kyla?”
She frowned at him.
“Forechecking—checking in the offensive zone with the intention of gaining control of the puck and setting up a scoring opportunity. Feeling a little defensive? Going on the offense?”
“This isn’t a game.”
“It’s an analogy, sweetheart. Where’s your sense of humor? I come home a lot, Kyla. Every summer. Other times during the year. I flew my parents down to Phoenix every year and last year they came to Chicago to watch Jase and I play against each other.”
Shame heated her cheeks. “I know. I’m sorry.”
He leaned forward and kissed her mouth. “I’m sorry I called you scrawny.”
“Okay, tell me about your crappy season,” she said. And they talked about what a huge distraction the whole uproar over selling and moving the team had been for them pretty much all season, all the politics and media attention, then the actual sale and the move back to Winnipeg.
“D’you think all the talk distracted the players?” she asked. “Was that why you didn’t have a great season?”
He gave her a long look. “Hell yeah. It was totally distracting, to everyone.” He kissed her mouth. “You’re pretty smart, Mac.”
They talked for a long time, until Kyla’s soft curves moving against him distracted him, heated his blood, hardened his dick, and then he rolled her over onto her back and kissed her in long, lazy wet kisses.
“Mmm.” She bit gently at his bottom lip. “I thought you said I could have a turn to be on top.”
He smiled down at her, that wide sexy mouth that made her insides flutter. “So I did. And that would be fair.” He rolled off her and lay on his back. “Take me.”
She laughed softly and laid a hand on his hard abdomen, shifting herself toward him. “Do I get to do whatever I want?”
“Um…” His dick twitched as she reached for it. “Maybe…”
“Maybe I need that bondage tape for you.”
“Ha,” he said. She curled her fingers around his cock, so satisfyingly thick and hot in her hand. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”
“Hmm.” She bent her head, teased him with her tongue, dragging it over the rim of his cock head, rubbing it against the underside, then licking down to the base and lower still, over his balls.
“Jesus Christ!” His hips jerked off the bed. “Oh fuck, Kyla.”
“Mmmhmm.”
He reached for her hair, scooping it back and holding it loosely at her neck, she imagined, so he could see what she was doing. That pleased her. Pleasing him pleased her. She closed her eyes in delight and opened her mouth to take him in.
“Oh yeah, hell yeah, suck me,” he groaned. “Suck my dick, Kyla, like that, so fucking good…”
She moved her mouth up and down on him, not taking him deep, there was no way she could; he was so thick in her mouth, so heavy on her tongue. She paused for a moment to absorb the sensation, the hot male taste of him. She grasped the base of his cock with one hand while the other played with his balls. Another rumble sounded in his throat.
“So nice,” she said, lifting her head to gaze down at his throbbing shaft. “Very nice.” Her thumb slid wetly over the head and Tag made a strangled noise. Then she moved over him holding herself above him.
“Condom,” he croaked.
She paused. “Damn. Where are they?”
“In that case.”
She slid off the mattress to the tent floor and rummaged around, returning with one held between two fingers. “I’ll put it on.”
“Sure.”
She smiled at the thickness in his voice. A feeling of immense power rose inside her, feminine power, the power to please him with her touch. She paused for a moment, recalling his earlier words. This power felt good, so good. When she’d had her wrists bound, she’d felt erotically helpless but she’d also felt a strange feeling of freedom―freedom and relief, to just be herself, to just feel, to not have to try to fit in.
She ripped open the package and rolled the condom on, torturing him by taking her time and then once again she rose above him. She closed her eyes as he entered her, stretching her with burning pressure, filling her with delicious heat. She laid her hands on Tag’s muscled chest and moved on him, slowly easing his thick flesh inside her, little by little, until he was all the way in. She pressed a hand to her lower stomach, feeling voluptuously filled.
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