Question was, should she acknowledge it, or let it pass? After all, there were just so many levels of hate Dar could feel for her, right?


Eye of the Storm 89

Her eyes lifted to met a cold, angry stillness looking back, but her sense of fairness won out, and she lowered her gaze, and her voice.

“You’re right,” she finally admitted, quietly. “I’m sorry, Paladar. I should have checked before I took on the responsibility. I wouldn’t have bothered to ask you to come here.”

Ceci expected an sharp retort, something spiteful. Something nasty.

Instead, her daughter leaned back against the mantel and crossed her arms over her chest.

“It’s funny,” Dar remarked. “When you called last week, Kerry speculated that maybe you were using this whole thing as an excuse to get back in touch.”

Cecilia drew in a soundless breath.

“And I told her it was too late for that.” She paused. “I was right.”

Dar pushed off the wall and headed for the door. “Goodbye, Mother.”

Let her go. A voice advised her in mental echo. “Paladar.”

Dar kept walking, taking the two steps up in a smooth motion.

“Dar.”

Her hand on the doorknob, Dar turned and waited.

“I don’t expect you to understand what I did.” Cecilia put her slim hands on the back of the chair.

“Maybe that’s the problem,” came the soft, bitter reply. “You never thought I was capable of understanding.”

Her mother came forward, anger starting to surface. “You have no idea. You can’t begin to realize what I went through…what is it to lose half of yourself.”

“No,” Dar replied, her nostrils flaring. “But I do know what it felt like to lose the only friend I had in the world.” Her voice deepened. “The only person I could talk to. Who accepted who I was.” She paused, needing a breath. “Who loved me.” She tried to relax the lump in her throat.

“Is that good enough on your scale?”

Goddess. Cecilia suddenly felt very tired. I don’t want to deal with this. I don’t want to deal with her. Just let her go and forget about all this. Let it fade out like everything else. It was so much easier that way. “I’m sure you think so,” she murmured. “I hope for your sake, Dar, that you never find out any different.” She was too tired to dissemble. “It was cruel to you. I know that.” Her eyes lifted and met blue eyes so hauntingly familiar she had to look away. “But it was the only way I could survive.” A quiet regret settled over her and she forced herself to look back at Dar’s face, seeing a serious quietude there that unexpectedly made her see past the common stamp of her features and through to the person her daughter had become.

This was not her beloved, this tall, strange creature, who smelled of sun-warmed cotton and a light, spicy scent.

Perhaps, even that echo was gone.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said.

There was a long pause, as her daughter studied her. “So am I.”

They were quiet then the door opened and Kerry slipped inside, 90 Melissa Good blinking at the silent tableau before her. Dar reached out blindly and brought her closer by pure reflex.

“Hey.” Kerry glanced from one to the other, a hand on Dar’s back revealing an almost unbearable tension. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah,” Dar answered. “Seems my…family was worried you might be sponging off me.”

A blonde brow lifted. “They should hear us arguing about who gets to pay the grocery bill, then,” she remarked, slipping an arm around her lover and leaning against her. “I’m going to hurt you if you don’t stop switching that card.”

The tension relaxed a little. Cecilia sighed. “Let’s…ah, please sit down.”

“Sure.” Kerry started towards the couch, tugging Dar along with her.

They all moved down the stairs, the atmosphere uncomfortable and strained.

“So. Did you two meet at work?” Ceci fished around for something to say.

“Actually,” Kerry smiled, “Dar showed up to fire me. I managed to talk her out of it and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“Really?” the older woman murmured. “Well, I’ll go get that tea.”

Cecilia walked quickly to the kitchen and sanctuary.

Kerry watched her go, a thoughtful look on her face.

SHE STOOD WITH her eyes closed and her hands on the counter while the tea steeped. It had been worse than she’d expected, but in a curious way, better at the same time. She’d thought to find Dar cold and remote, her feelings locked down tight away just like they’d always been since her teenage years.

Instead, she’d halfway seen a glimpse of a child she’d thought long lost. Part of her—most of her—wanted to forget that and she felt a definite urge to send Dar on her way and allow her life to return to its sterile peace.

Surely, it would be better for both of them. It wasn’t like Dar was in need. She’d done well. Better, to be honest, than Ceci had ever dreamed she would. She had a good life, a nice home. She seemed happy with her companion…

Footsteps made her open her eyes and turn her head to see Kerry enter the kitchen. The blonde woman paused a few feet a way and studied her.

“Can I help with that?”

Kerry’s voice was, Ceci noted, gentle and cultured, with a Midwest note in the vowels. It went with her wholesome good looks and was at distinct odds with the gleam of intense intelligence glinting off the interesting green of her eyes. “All right.”

Kerry took that as permission to approach and did so, setting a few blue tinted glasses on the small tray Ceci had taken out and adding the Eye of the Storm 91

pitcher to it.

“So.” The older woman went to the white refrigerator and retrieved some ice in a separate pitcher. “What makes you hang around the Capi-tol, Ms. Stuart?”

“My father,” Kerry replied quietly. “He’s a senator.”

Cecilia blinked, then her brows creased. “Not Roger Stuart, surely?”

Kerry nodded. “Yes.”

“Interesting.” Gray eyes studied Kerry’s face curiously. “Does he know about you and Paladar?”

Another nod. “He does.”

Ceci’s lips twitched briefly. “Not his year, hmm?” She took the pitcher and walked out, leaving Kerry to follow her with the tray.

She did with an almost silent sigh, turning the corner to see her lover standing at the window, peering out, her hands clasped behind her back.

Dar turned as they entered and leaned against the sill, the sunlight back-lighting her tall form and throwing her face into shadow. Kerry poured two glasses and picked one up, brought it over and handed it to her.

“Thanks.”

Kerry gave her belly a friendly scratch and wrinkled her nose, her back turned to Cecilia. Dar’s lips tightened and she inclined her head, then pushed off from the window and returned to the couch, sitting opposite her mother. Kerry followed her, and they sat in an uncomfortable silence, the faint tinkle of ice the only sound as they drank their tea.

Then Dar put her glass down and folded her hands together. She hesitated before speaking. “I’m glad I had a chance to say goodbye to Gran.”

Safer subject. “I promised her I’d ask you,” Cecilia remarked softly.

“She kept all your cards in a book. I know she always appreciated getting them.” She considered a moment, then stood and glided over to a chest of drawers. She put her hand on the knob of one, pulled it open, removed a large manila envelope and returned to hand it to her daughter. “You never put your return address on them. I could never mail these for her back to you.”

Dar held the package with uncertainty then put it down on her knees. “Richard knew where I was.”

Ceci nodded. “Probably. But I figured if you wanted us to know what your address was, you’d have put it down.”

“Mmm.” Dar had to acknowledge the truth of that. “Well, we need to get over and take care of things with him, then catch our flight.” She stood up with her envelope, taking in the sight of the slight, silver blonde woman seated across from her. “Take care, Mother.”

“You too,” Ceci murmured, allowing a long, guarded look into the pale blue eyes, and a single brief memory that made her heart clench and was discarded immediately. She stood and accompanied them to the door, pulled it open and waited for them to go through it.

They did, and she shut it behind them, as the silence settled comfortably around her again. She watched them out the window, though, unable to take her eyes off Dar until her daughter ducked into the passen-92 Melissa Good ger side seat and the car pulled away.

Ceci turned around and stared at the now empty room.

It was over.

She was safe. She’d fulfilled a promise and now she never had to see Dar again, if she didn’t want to.

That was good.

Wasn’t it?

It was hard to stand here, with the memories so fresh in her mind, and remember a time when it hadn’t been like this. A time before she had to look up to her daughter.

When a small child had sat on her lap and looked up at her trustingly with those big blue eyes as they watched fireworks over the cow fields, in air so thick and moist it seemed to flow over them.

It was faint, that echo. But she could, if she tried, remember loving her daughter.

Maybe, at some level, she still did.

Ceci looked around the emptiness and wished they were still here.

Painful as Dar’s presence was, there was a link there, a solid, living, breathing link, that touched her down deep in places she’d shied away from for years.

Slowly, she was drawn through the living room and into the plain bedroom, with its low, platform bed and crisp white sheets. To her right was her closet, with its seldom opened door and she stopped with her hand on the knob for a long time before her fingers turned it reluctantly, and she pulled the door open, closing her eyes as the scent hit her.