The house was beautiful. That fact, at least, took her mind off what she was about to do. Old timbers that spanned the high ceilings, gleaming wood floors, and plush, expensive carpets. Whoever owned this place was loaded. But then, she knew Aegis Security was the best of the best, and they had numerous high-profile, wealthy names on their client list. Names that could afford this as a second, third, or even fourth home.

She couldn’t fathom having money like that. Didn’t know what she’d do with it even if she ever had it. Someone thought she’d sold US secrets for money? They obviously didn’t know her very well. Her life was as simple as it came. At least it used to be.

She breathed deeply as she moved onto the second floor. An archway led to a huge game room, decked out with couches, a pool table, and a bar. Beyond that were four bedrooms and a theater room with a gigantic movie screen. All the rooms were empty, though, and right now she didn’t care about checking out the amenities. She had something more important to do.

Making her way to the far end of the hall, she pushed the double doors open and stepped into the massive master suite. Water ran in the bathroom somewhere to her right, and steam spilled from the open bathroom door. A monster king-sized bed, covered in expensive fabrics, took up space near the left wall, but it was the view out the gigantic windows that spanned two whole walls that stopped her feet. Not just of the darkening lake, but in the distance, the steadily fading view of an enormous mountain.

Sam would have loved this. He’d loved hiking, skiing, being in the outdoors. For a second, she tried to picture him here, but found she couldn’t. He didn’t fit. And the more she tried to conjure his image, the more she realized his face wasn’t the one she longed to see.

She sank onto the end of the bed and let the soft cotton and billowy comforter cushion her tired body. Let it give her strength. Her stomach knotted with every second the shower ran, but she held her ground and told herself that if she did nothing else for anyone ever again, she could at least do this.

The shower cut off. She heard Zane moving around in the bathroom. Her pulse sped up, and she tangled her fingers in the bedspread at her sides while she waited. Seconds later, Zane stepped out of the room, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped low around his lean hips. Water glistened on his sculpted chest and abs, and when he rubbed another towel over his dripping hair, the muscles in his arms flexed and released, reminding her what it felt like to be surrounded by him.

He made it three steps before he realized she was there. His feet stopped. His hand stopped its frantic rubbing. Slowly, he looked in her direction. And butterflies took flight in her stomach.

“I owe you something.”

A frown pulled at his mouth. “I’m not in the mood to get my ass handed to me again, thanks.”

She couldn’t stop the corner of her lips from curling. Even hurt and pissed at her, he could still make her smile. “I didn’t mean that. I meant—” Moment of truth. “I meant, I owe you the truth.”

He looked away from her, walked toward a chair across the room, and dropped the towel in his hand. “You don’t owe me any explanation, Eve. Let’s just call this what it is. Over.”

Her chest squeezed so tight she could barely breathe. “I was engaged.”

His hand stilled against the back of the chair. He didn’t say anything, but she knew she’d shocked him. And honestly, she’d shocked herself. She’d never told anyone this.

“It was in college,” she said, before she could change her mind. “He was a few years older than me. He was this computer whiz, and he worked for a company in Silicon Valley. We hadn’t told anyone we were getting married. I was in my senior year and was finishing up fall term. We’d planned to announce to our families at Christmas. It just . . . never happened.”

“Why not?”

The fact he asked told her he was at least a little curious. She steeled her nerves and went on. “He left for a meeting in Hong Kong a couple days after we got engaged. His plane was hijacked and diverted to Manila. You might have heard about it. Fifteen passengers were killed before authorities took control of the aircraft.”

He lowered himself to sit on the arm of the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I remember. Happened about twelve years ago, right?”

She nodded. “He was one of the fifteen.” She looked away from his face, not wanting to see pity in his eyes. She didn’t deserve it. “I lost focus after he died. Couldn’t seem to pull it together. My friends were worried, my parents talked about sending me to therapy. Luckily, they were in Idaho so they didn’t see how bad I really was, but . . .” She drew another breath. “I wanted to die. I didn’t know how I could go on. And then one day I was walking by the student union and saw there was a job fair. I went in for no reason and realized the CIA was there, educating students about what they do. I saw it as my way out.”

Her hands grew sweaty, and she swiped them against her dirty jeans. “I started out as an analyst but then moved over to counterintelligence. I needed something to do. I couldn’t sit behind a desk all day. And I loved it. I loved the travel and the challenge and being out of my head. Working for the Agency saved me when nothing else could have. And I was doing good. Really good. Until I met you.”

She looked up. He hadn’t moved from his position on the arm of the chair, but he was watching her. Closely. She willed herself to go on.

“I knew as soon as I met you that you weren’t the mole. You didn’t fit the profile. You were too honest. And just being around you, I knew you were the kind of guy who’d joined CIA for the right reasons. To make a difference, not to hide, like I’d done. And I knew I should have stayed away from you, but . . .” She lifted her shoulders and then dropped them. “I couldn’t. Because your energy was contagious. And after just a few weeks, I realized I was . . . happy. For the first time since Sam’s death. Even in a miserable country that devalues women. With you I felt . . . safe.”

He didn’t say anything, and she had no idea what he was thinking. All she knew was that her pulse was pounding and her hands were sweating, and that as hard as all of that was to admit, what she had to say next would be worse.

“And then . . . do you remember that merchant we were staked out watching? The one we were trying to connect to those arms deals in the Middle East? Remember when he ventured out, and the three of us followed? We thought he was making a drop somewhere and that we could finally catch him in the act. Only he tricked us, and you and Carter and I had to split up to try to find him.”

She pressed a hand against her chest, remembering the fear she’d felt that day. “When that car bomb went off and blew up part of the street you’d disappeared down, I couldn’t breathe. I was sure you were dead. Sure of it. And then when I found out you were alive, I was so relieved. You have no idea what I felt in that moment.”

“Eve—”

“And then . . . then I was pissed and scared all at the same time. And I knew I had to get away from you. See, I gave up everything for the CIA. Everything I’d wanted before. A home, a family, a future. I never wanted to go through the kind of pain I went through when I lost Sam. And in one moment, in one microsecond, I was right back there. Only this time it was worse because what I felt for you was a thousand times stronger than what I had ever felt for Sam.”

Those hard, wary eyes that had been watching her since he’d stepped out of the shower softened, and he pushed off the chair. “Eve.”

Eve quickly rose to her feet and held up a hand, blocking him from touching her. “No.” She had to get this out. If she stopped, she’d never finish, and this time she was determined to tell him everything. “I hated you for that. For making me feel something again. And I hated myself even more for letting it happen. With you I was losing focus. I didn’t need the CIA, and that scared me. So I pulled back. And when you wouldn’t let me, when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make a clean break without something dramatic, I set up that meeting with that arms dealer, and I made sure you saw.”

She stiffened her shoulders and met his gaze head-on, knowing this wasn’t something she could back down from, no matter how much she suddenly wanted to. “I wanted you to think the worst of me so I could get away from you, so I set it up to look like I was trading information with him. And then . . .”

She drew a deep breath. “And then I let him go, even knowing all the things he was rumored to be a part of, because I wanted you to hate me.”

20

Zane didn’t know how to answer. Didn’t know what to say, for that matter.

From the moment he’d walked out of the shower and found Eve sitting on the bed, he’d been speechless. After their argument downstairs, he’d expected to barely interact with her before Ryder showed up. And now here she was. Telling him things he’d never in a million years expected her to divulge.

So much now made sense. The way she’d started distancing herself after that bombing in Beirut. Her antagonistic tone when he’d tried to talk to her about what was wrong. Her animosity the night he’d confronted her. “Eve—”

She stepped back, out of his reach. “You’re not like me and Carter and everyone else in the Company. You believe that one life has value, whether that life is a child or an adult or an innocent or even a suspect. And you have a clear dividing line between right and wrong. It’s why you left the Agency. Not because you weren’t good—my God, you are good, and Aegis is lucky to have you. But you left because there is no gray area for you.”