Meg Cabot - Every Boy’s Got One

Yeah. Nice job, Cal. Way to help out your friend on his wedding day. Get him the paper.

Who cares about him, anyway? Um, not me.

Now Holly and Mark are getting ready. I am on call in case Holly has a hair emergency, but I can already tell that she won’t. Her hair is doing exactly what she wants it to. It’s behaving perfectly, exactly the way hair SHOULD be on a girl’s wedding day.

I am in charge of the paperwork (already in my bag), camera (ready), and lucky socks (ditto). Peter is in charge of the rings. Cal is in charge of driving. He appears to be taking this with the same kind of stoicism you might expect from a man preparing to step in front of a firing squad. How flattering to Holly that her husband-to-be’s best friend apparently equates his marrying her to being shot.

Whatever. I’m not going to let that freak spoil the day. This is what we came here for, and everything is going so well: There isn’t a cloud in the sky; Holly looks prettier than I’ve ever seen her; Mark is being the perfect nervous bridegroom; and someone else even made breakfast.

I bet there are a lot of brides who’d gladly sacrifice having their families attend their wedding in exchange for just ONE of the above.

Ooooh, we’re leaving—

PDA of Cal Langdon

My God. The entire town has turned out for this wedding. Or at least, that’s how it appears. There’s nearly a hundred people gathered outside the Commune. And they’re all wearing…

They’re all wearing Wondercat T-shirts.

Seriously. Every last one of them.

Some of them are holding Wondercat banners. And have on Wondercat baseball hats. There’s even a baby in a Wondercat COSTUME.

Jane looks completely mortified.

Especially when she stepped from the car, they surged forward, clamoring for her autograph.

She tried to explain to them that she’s here for a wedding, and not a comic-book signing. But to no avail. It took us ten minutes just to get into the building. And most of the Wondercat fans have followed us, with the apparent intention of witnessing Holly and Mark’s marriage for themselves.

I blame Peter. He’s looking particularly pleased with himself. Yes, this has Teenaged Stalker written all over it.

Ah, here comes the secretario. He looks oddly surprised to see us. He keeps stammering something about how he’d heard the bride and groom were too ill to make it to Roma for the APOSTILLE. Jane’s shoved our paperwork beneath his nose, but he’s looking very skeptical—

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Oh my God, this is HORRIBLE!!! THE MAYOR WON’T MARRY HOLLY AND MARK!!!! HE DOESN’T BELIEVE THE SIGNATURES ON THE APOSTILLE ARE THEIRS!!!! He says he heard that Mark and Holly were sick in bed all day yesterday, and so how could they have gotten the Apostille? He says the signatures on the Apostille have to be forgeries!!!

I’M GOING TO KILL PETER!!! THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT!!!! I know he must have posted something on his Web site or something about it. Because why else would there be all these Wondercat fans here? How else could they have known? And how else could the MAYOR have known about Holly and Mark????

Oh, God, I am DYING for them. Holly looks SO pretty, and Mark is so handsome. HOW can the mayor be so heartless? Should I confess? Should I go up there and be all, “OK, it was me, it’s my signature, not Holly’s, but I did it for a good cause, and you should still marry them because look how cute they are together”? Would he even go for that?

I don’t think so. He was completely unmoved by Frau Schumacher’s tirade, which lasted five minutes, at least.

And now he’s taking his sash off! His mayoral sash! Like he’s done for the day! He’s heading off for soccer practice like he hasn’t left a roomful of broken-hearted people behind! How can anyone be so—

Oh, no. What’s Cal doing? Oh, God, he’s not going to confess that it’s his signature, is he? I KNEW he’d do something to ruin Holly and Mark’s chance at—

Wait. Wait a minute, he’s not— 

___________________________________________

To: Claire Harris <charris2004@freemail.com>

Darrin Caputo <darrin.caputo@caputographics.com>

Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>

Re: Holly and Mark

We’re here! At the Commune di Castelfidardo, in the Municipale building, for Holly and Mark’s wedding!

For a minute it looked as if it weren’t actually going to happen. The mayor seemed to suspect all was not right with Holly and Mark’s paperwork.

But then Cal Langdon—CAL LANGDON, Mr. I Don’t Believe In Marriage Himself—stepped up and, whipping out a notepad, asked the mayor for his full name.

And when the mayor asked him just what he was doing, Cal went (according to Peter, who translated for me), “Oh, I’m a foreign affairs correspondent for The New York Journal , and I think my readers would be very interested in learning about how Le Marche officials treat American visitors to their region.”

The mayor couldn’t put his sash on fast enough! He started the wedding ceremony then and there!

CAL LANGDON SAVED THE DAY!

I wasn’t the only one who started cheering, either. Half the town seems to have turned out for the ceremony, as well!

Holly looks so pretty in her dress, which is—even though I helped her pick it out, so I am sort of complimenting myself by saying this, but it’s true—stunning. Her waist looks TINY, and she’s got a tiny bouquet of white flowers that this kid Peter made her…actually they’re garlic flowers from the garden, so you don’t want to sniff them. But she doesn’t know that, so DON’T TELL HER.

And then, solemnly, with all this dignified grace, they began the ceremony, with Holly and Mark holding hands and looking so sweet and nervous in front of them, and all of the rest of us— including, I am astonished to note, a good number of school-children, including the mayor’s own daughter, who surely should be in school—crowded all around the sides of the room. Everyone seems to be on his or her best behavior.

Well, except for Cal Langdon, who despite his earlier heroics for some reason won’t stop looking at my feet. I do have on my new Christian Louboutins, though—the ones with the rhinestone flowers over the toe straps—so that might be why. Possibly he thinks they aren’t suitable wedding attire?

The mayor opened this big book and began to read, while the secretario translated in not very good English. It’s a very moving ceremony so far, all about how they promise to live in the same house and educate their children. Marriage is obviously taken very seriously here in Italy, but they don’t seem much concerned about the for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health stuff. They just seem to want everyone to live under the same roof and go to school.

This seems very reasonable to me.

Ooooh, it’s the ring part, I have to start taking pictures, more later—

J

___________________________________________

Art. 147-Doveri Verso I Figli

Il matrimonia impone ad ambedue I conuigi l’obligo di mantenere, istruire ed educare la prole tenendo conto delle capacita, dell’inclinazione naturale e delle aspirazioni dei figli

(domando allo sposo)

Sig.LEVINE MARK dichiara di voler prendere in moglie la qui presente Sig.CAPUTO HOLLY ANN ?(si)

(ed alla sposa)

Sig.CAPUTO HOLLY ANN dichiara di voler prendere in marito il que presente Sig.LEVINE MARK ?(si)

I testimoni hanno sentito(si) (si)

IoAntonio Torelli

Ufficiale di Stato Civile del Commune di Castelfidardo Diacharo che il Sig.LEVINE MARK e la Sig.CAPUTOHOLLY ANN sono uniti in matrimonio

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

Commune di Castelfidardo

Provincia di Le Marche

Ufficio Dello Stato Civile

Certificato di Matrimonio

L’Ufficiale dello Stato Civile

Certifica

Che dal REGISTRO degli ATTI DE MATRIMONIO atto N. 1 Parte II Serie C risulta che nel giorno 23 del mese di settembre contrassero matrimonio in Castelfidardo

Mark David Levine        Holly Ann Caputo

Celibe                         Nubile

Nato a Ohio USA           Nata a Illinois USA

Cittadino Statunitense   Cittadina Statunitense

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

To: Listserv <Wundercat@wundercatlives.com>

Fr: Peter Schumacher <webmaster@wundercatlives.com>

Re: JANE HARRIS

IT IS DONE!!! The friends of JANE HARRIS have had the marriage! It was very beautiful. I hold onto the rings, and when the secretario say to me, “The rings, please,” I give them to the friends of JANE HARRIS. JANE HARRIS took many photographs. One photograph was of me giving the rings.

Then the mayor said,“Io diacharo che sono uniti in matrimonio,” and everyone in the room gives big cheer!

And then the marriage couple kiss, and everyone gives bigger cheer! And then the friend of JANE HARRIS named Cal Longdon says to everyone, “To thank you all for making this day so special for my friends, I’d like to invite everyone back to La Beccacia, where a champagne brunch is currently being set up.”