J. Cooper - Everlasting Sin

“I’ll make it if you want.” Riley smiled up at me, and I couldn’t stop from smiling back at her. She was a brat as well, but definitely not as bad as my sister.

“Thanks, Riley. Maybe next time.” I tousled the top of her hair.

“Yeah.” She nodded at me with eager eyes as I walked through the door and back to my room. “Just let me know, Hudson.”

Riley

Six Years Ago

Hudson Blake reminded me of a hawk: a majestic, maddening, and daring hawk. When he looked at me, I felt like I was his prey: weak, innocent, and totally willing. I think it was the way he talked to me that had made me fall in love with him. He was always so caring and sensitive to my feelings. It was like he knew that I was a gentle creature to be coddled delicately. He never teased me mercilessly like he did Eden.

The first time I realized that Hudson might be as attracted to me as I was to him was when I was fifteen. I was staying over for a sleepover, and I wandered into his room to escape the gossiping that was going on among the girls.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" I walked up to his desk and looked at his blank computer screen. "You weren't looking at porn, were you?"

"No," he laughed. "Of course not."

"What do you mean, of course not? You're eighteen. Eighteen-year-old boys look at a lot of porn."

"You seem very sure of that." He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. "Been checking it out yourself, have you?"

"No, of course not." I blushed and played with my hair.

"What are you girls up to then?" He frowned and stared at my fingers for a few seconds.

"Talking about boys and other girls." I made a face.

"Not enjoying that?" He laughed as I shook my head. "You and Eden are like chalk and cheese. I'm not sure how you've made it as best friends for all of these years."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not quite understanding what he was saying.

"Nothing bad." He stood up and I stared up at him as he towered over me.

Hudson was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black shorts, and it was impossible for me to ignore how handsome he looked. His hair was spiked up and his hazel eyes were light with humor. I smiled up at him and then gasped as I noticed a tattoo on his upper arm.

"What's that?" I reached over and lightly touched his upper arm.

"What does it look like, Ms. Straight-A-Student?"

"You got a tattoo?" I asked in a disappointed tone. I wasn’t sure why I was disappointed, but I really felt let down.

“Yeah. Don’t you like it?”

I shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I guess you’ll never get a tattoo then?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“I can’t convince you?” He grinned and flopped down on his bed.

“Doubt it.” I stood there, staring down at him, and he laughed.

“Don’t look so serious. I’m not going to force you to get one.”

“I didn’t think you were going to force me.”

“Come sit.” He patted the bed and I walked over and joined him. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell you’re upset.”

“How?” I asked, surprised. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to tell me, Riley. I know you like I know the back of my hand.”

“Uh huh.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled and lay back on the bed next to him. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed around me.”

“I know.”  I turned to face him, and he was staring at me with his concerned hazel eyes. I stared into his eyes and tried not to focus too much on how handsome his face was.

“Tell me, Riley.”

“I just feel stupid because I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

His brow furrowed. “Why does that make you feel stupid? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m the only girl who hasn’t been kissed.” I blushed.

“So that just makes you even more special.”

“Whatever.” I shook my head and groaned. “I feel like a loser.”

“You’re not a loser.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” I admitted shyly. “I feel like I don’t know what to do if a boy kisses me.”

“Has a boy tried to kiss you?” He frowned.

“Not really.” I made a face, and he laughed, suddenly carefree again. “I guess guys just don’t like me.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re beautiful.”

I made another face and he pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t make a face at me.”

“I’m not.” I was mere inches away from him now, and I could feel my heart racing.

“Liar.” He grinned and leaned closer to me. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” I stared into his eyes, feeling completely breathless.

“Because I’m going to teach you how to kiss and I want you to concentrate on the movement of my lips.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” I blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. I didn’t know what to say, and ‘thank you’ sounded too lame.

I closed my eyes and waited. I was unprepared for the warm feeling that filled me as I felt his lips pressed softly against mine. I lay there still and unmoving as he kissed me, and I heard him chuckle as he pulled away from me.

“You can kiss back, Riley,” he laughed.

“Sorry, what?” I opened my eyes slowly, feeling disoriented.

“I said, kiss back. If you just lay there like a fish, it’s not going to be fun.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“Okay, let’s try this again.” He smiled wickedly. “Keep your eyes open this time.”

“Okay,” I mumbled and took a deep breath. I waited for him to lean forward again.

“Stare into my eyes and move towards me. You’re going to instigate the kiss this time.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m teaching you.” He grinned.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and slowly leaned towards him.

I stopped right before my lips touched his, and I could see the humor in his eyes. I gently pressed my lips against his and waited to see what was going to happen next. Hudson just lay there for a second and I didn’t know what to do, but then he leaned towards me and grabbed my hair, pushing my face into his. I felt his lips crushing down on mine and kissed him back, trying to mimic the movement of his lips. I reached my hands up to his hair and stared into his eyes. Hudson’s lips crushed into mine, and I felt the tip of his tongue touching my lips.

I sprang back then and gasped. “What are you doing?” I questioned him with wide eyes.

“Teaching you how to kiss.”

“But you used your tongue.”

“It’s called a French kiss, Riley.”

“But we’re not in France,” I mumbled, feeling stupid. I knew my face was burning a deep shade of red, and I could see that he was laughing at me from the sparkle in his eyes.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never heard of a French kiss before.” There was shock in his eyes and he laughed slightly.

“You’re a jerk.” I pushed his shoulder hard.

“No.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m your teacher.” He leaned towards me again and brought my face towards his. “Close your eyes and do what you think is right.”

“What I think—”

Hudson’s lips interrupted my speech and I closed my eyes, trying to let my body and not my brain guide me. His lips were soft at first, and I felt myself kissing him back gently, but then his fingers ran through my hair and he pulled my face closer to him. His tongue deftly slipped into my mouth, and I slowly pushed my tongue into his mouth, enjoying the unexpected warm feelings that were coursing through me.

His tongue met mine, and I allowed my tongue to touch his. It tasted and felt funny, and I pulled away a little bit. Hudson pulled my face back towards him, and I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth again. This time, his tongue was rougher as it explored my mouth as if looking for cavities. My eyes popped open as he ran his hands down my side and rolled me into my back.

His eyes looked down at me with an unfamiliar emotion, and I felt his body crushing down onto mine. I gazed up at him and ran my hands down his back, not knowing what to do. I shifted on the bed beneath him and suddenly he froze and jumped off of the bed.

“Okay, great. I think you get the idea.” He walked back to his computer and sat down at his desk without looking at me.

“Oh, okay.” I sat up, feeling confused and stared at his back. “Is everything okay, Hudson?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” His voice sounded gruff, and I swallowed hard.

What had happened? Was I such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by me?

“I’m going to leave now.”

“Fine,” he mumbled and clicked the keys on his laptop.

“Thanks,” I whispered, standing at his door.

I gently rubbed my lips, not really believing what had just happened. Had I really just kissed Hudson? My heart was singing with joy, even though my brain was upset and confused.

“No worries,” he mumbled and sighed, but then he turned around and smiled. “There’s nothing to be worried about, Riley. You’re a good kisser.” He stared at me for a few moments and then continued. “If you were older, I’d be teaching you even more.”

“Even more what?” I frowned and stared into his hazel eyes.

“You’ll figure it out one day.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Now scoot. I’ve got things to do.”

I walked out of his room with a huge smile on my face, even though I’d just been dismissed. He had enjoyed kissing me, I was sure of that. Maybe one day, we’d be kissing for real.