“And cheats!” Shelly yelled back. “He cheats on you, Ma! Over and over again. How can you let him keep coming back?”
Throwing the sponge into the sink, her mother wiped her hands and turned to face her daughter full on. Shelly straightened her spine, preparing for whatever was about to come her way.
For years, she had watched this woman let her husband emotionally destroy her. Shelly couldn’t comprehend why her mother let him get away with it for so many years.
“I will say this once, and then you’re to never speak of it with me again. Do I make myself clear?”
Shelly sharply nodded once and waited.
“Your father and I met when I was sixteen years old. Sixteen, Shelly. We dated and fell in love. It was wonderful, full of flowers an’ rainbows. That’s the way you think it should be, am I right?” She paused, and her shoulders slumped a little. Stepping closer to Shelly, she reached out and ran a finger down her daughter’s cheek. “You look so much like him.”
“Don’t.” Shelly muttered, pulling her face away from the touch. “I wish I looked nothing like him.”
Her mother shook her head. “I don’t. I look at you, Shel, and I see all the goodness that he was. When we fell in love, life was easy. We were young and had the rest of our lives ahead of us. But then, we grew up, and life changed. He went into a grueling medical program, and I got pregnant.”
“I’m so sorry,” Shelly snapped.
“Stop it,” her mother told her firmly, the strong Southern woman making an appearance. “Stop being so angry at him. I chose this life, Shelly. Me—not him. He has told me on numerous occasions that he’d look after me if I wanted to move on, but Shelly, I don’t want to. This is my life. It’s where you grew up not wanting or needing anything, and he’s my friend.”
Shaking her head, Shelly stood there looking at her mother, but all she could see was a stranger. Suddenly, everything crumbled down around Shelly’s shoulders. All the anger she had held for her father, thinking that he was the one destroying her mother’s dignity and her good name, now seemed misplaced. It had been her mother’s choice to stay this whole time. Shelly’s heart seemed to be splitting inside her chest. She felt pure betrayal from the woman who loved and raised her, teaching her to respect herself at all costs. How can someone voluntarily stay with a man who doesn’t want you?
“A friend?” Shelly finally sputtered. “He’s your husband, Ma. He’s supposed to love you and look after you and—”
“He does all of that,” she replied, taking a step closer.
She reached up and took Shelly’s face between her small palms. “Your father fell out of love with me a long time ago, Shelly. I know that because he told me. The problem is that I will always love him, so I’ll take any part of him I can. Friendship and companionship are what he offered—not to mention, stability for you.”
Shelly blinked once and felt her eyes welling up. “That’s no way to live, Ma. Everyone else gets to be happy except you? Don’t you want someone who loves you completely?”
Her mother’s eyes became glassy, and a tear slipped free, running down her cheek. “Of course, I did, you silly girl, and I had it. Do you really think anyone is lucky enough to find it twice? So, I took what I had and stored it away. Shelly, when I lay down at night and think about the man in the room next door to mine, I am still so happy I get to see him every day.”
Shelly felt tears streaming down her cheeks as her mother stood in front of her calmly explaining her loveless marriage.
How does someone survive that? How does someone not die from being so incredibly lonely?And how on earth can I not hate my father for not freeing my mother from all this pain and heartache? Why didn’t he push her to move on? Like he obviously did.
“Ma, don’t you think you would be happier to go and—”
“No,” she told Shelly firmly. “I’ve looked at this from all angles, my dear, for years, believe me. I know what people say about me. I know they whisper about how your father runs around, but he ain’t doing anything I don’t know about.” She paused and turned to face outside. She put her hands on the sink and leaned into it as though she needed it to help hold her up.
“At first, I figured I would be better if he left. He did for a couple of weeks, but it was so much worse. So, I invited him back into our lives and told him what I wanted and expected of him. And, Shel, he agreed and has done everything he said he would. How can I fault him for that?” Finally, her mother looked back at her. “I’m gonna to go out to the yard for a while but think about what I have told you, Shelly. You need to forgive him. He hasn’t done anything to you, and he certainly hasn’t done anything to me that I am unaware of. He loves you very much and is so very proud of you. He just hasn’t done what you wanted.” She stopped, the last tear falling over her cheek. “He just fell out of love, and that is not a crime.”
Josh stood at the bottom of the staircase just outside of the kitchen as the back door slapped shut. He had come downstairs around ten minutes ago and had heard two voices. He had turned to make his way toward them when he had heard Shelly crying.
Holy shit, Josh thought as he ran a hand through his hair. How on earth does a daughter comprehend what Shelly’s mother just told her?
Mutley, of course, took that moment to bark. Josh looked down at his dog and shook his head. “Thanks buddy,” he muttered as he walked forward.
He came through the kitchen door to see Shelly facing him with tears on her cheeks and a lopsided smile on her face. She stared down at the dog sitting by his side.
“Did he just out you?” she asked him, gesturing to Mutley with her chin.
Josh gave a half smile as he walked toward her. “Pretty much.” He stopped in front of her, reaching up to trace her wet cheek with his index finger. “You okay?”
He watched as she shook her head, and then she leaned her face into his palm. He cupped the cool cheek nuzzling his hand while her wet blue eyes looked up at him with tears shimmering, threatening to spill over.
“Not really. How much did you hear?”
Josh grimaced, and then whispered, “Enough. I’m really sorry, Shelly.”
He watched her shrug.
“Not much I can do about it, right? It’s her choice.”
Josh dropped his hand, stroking it down her arm, and entwined their fingers together, squeezing gently.
“Yes, it’s her choice, but it couldn’t have been easy hearing all of that. Does it make you feel any different toward your father?”
Josh watched her take a deep breath. She looked at their fingers, and then back up to him.
“I’m not sure. I wish I could ask him what happened, you know? Why did he stop loving her? What changed for him?”
She paused, and Josh took a step closer, so she had to stand up straight. He reached up with his free hand, cupping her chin. Tipping up her face to his, he leaned in and gently kissed her lips.
“Maybe he wouldn’t have an answer for you, but you won’t know unless you ask. Then, maybe you can start to forgive him.”
She shook her head and asked softly, “How would I even begin to ask that? I’m so disappointed and sad right now.”
Josh sighed, dropping the hand at her chin to grip her other fingers as well.
“Disappointed in whom? Your mother?”
“Both of them! I’m angry and disappointed in both of them!” she fumed as Josh held her hands. “How dare they do that to a child. I never knew any of that. I never knew this was a cozy understanding they shared while I was working with the women he was having his freedom with,” she told Josh angrily. “Sure, Ma got to stay at home and avoid those awkward moments. I had to work with these women. I still cannot forgive him for that.”
Josh tugged her to him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“You wouldn’t do something like that,” she whispered into his chest.
“No, I wouldn’t,” he replied, kissing the top of her head.
“You wouldn’t even have sex with me when I asked you to.”
Josh choked out a rumbling laugh. “Oh, I wanted to, Georgia.”
“Yeah?”
Josh ran one hand down her hair as he replied, “Oh yeah. I dreamed about how good you tasted all night.”
Shelly leaned back, looking up at him. “I’m sorry I used you last night.”
He looked down at her with understanding eyes. “I know you are.”
Shelly then snuggled back into his chest and took a deep breath. “You’re making it so easy to fall for you, Josh,” she whispered.
His arms tightened around her as he replied softly, “Is that such a bad thing, Georgia?”
Shelly placed a palm on his chest and felt his heart beating strong. “I’m not sure yet,” she told him.
He placed his lips against her head, giving her a gentle kiss, and then he whispered, “Take a chance, Shel. I’m not going to hurt you, use you, or take any part of you for granted.” He ran a hand down her hair and lightly squeezed her neck. As he took a step back, he said, “Look at me, Georgia.”
Shelly raised her eyes to him and almost felt her heart explode from the look of pure raw emotion in Josh’s gaze.
She shook her head, unbelieving, “How can this be happening?”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a crooked grin.
“You and me? This is all so fast. Maybe bringing you here was a mistake. It’s clouding..”
“It’s clouding nothing,” he told her, cupping her face again. He lowered his mouth to hers. “It’s stripping you bare, and I’m falling for you so hard that I can feel the scrapes on my knees as I’m brought to them. I understand you’re scared because I’m absolutely terrified, but I’m not going to hurt you or kick you when you’re down.”
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