“There’s more to it than you not telling me you’re a warrior. You’re one of the best men I know, and I thought coming back here might help me see things more clearly, but… it’s no good… I love you, Jamie, I do.” She touched his face. “But not… not like that. Not like you should be loved.”

His eyes looked flat. He glanced over her shoulder. “It’s him isn’t it? It’s always been him.”

Shay turned and saw Cody in the hallway, body stiff, face shadowed. His gaze met hers before looking away. He disappeared toward the stairs. She wanted to run to him and apologize.

“I… it’s not that… I don’t know—” her voice broke. She couldn’t deny it. “I’m sorry.” She had betrayed him every bit as much as he betrayed her. At least he did it because he loved her, wanted to protect her. She had used Jamie to replace a ghost.

“I know, babe. I know,” he said, pulling her close again. They stayed that way for several moments, grieving over the hopelessness of love.

“Friends?” she asked, her voice soft against his chest.

“Always.” He kissed her hair, his lips lingering several seconds.

She left him and headed back to her bedroom, her head and stomach churning over what Jamie had forced her to admit. She wasn’t over Cody. She never had been, and she feared she never would be. Should she let this thing play out between them and see where it stood? How could she ever move on and not second-guess her feelings if she didn’t know for sure?

“That took long enough,” Cody said, without looking up as she walked in. “What’d you do? Tuck him in like a bloody baby?”

She started to say something rude, but he glanced up, and she saw the hurt in his eyes, quickly disguised. She pushed the door closed so Jamie, Nina, and Matilda wouldn’t find out Cody was in her room. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him.” Shay settled in awkwardly and stared at the ceiling, wondering how she would ever sleep. She felt guilty over Jamie, confused over Cody, and angry at herself.

“Do you love him?” Cody asked softly.

“I thought I did.”

“What’s that mean?”

“He’s a good guy. I cared for him. I still do, but something wasn’t… there.”

Cody started to say something, hesitated, then started again. “He took advantage of you.”

“You did worse. You stole something from me.”

He looked confused for a moment. “Your father, you mean?”

“My father, my mother, my life. I never even saw a picture of the woman who gave birth to me until I Googled her name and read her obituary. I believed some stranger named Nancy was my mother. Do you have any idea how it feels to find out the people you thought loved you were imposters sent to do a job?”

She heard the sofa creak as Cody rose and moved to the bed. “It was more than a job,” he said, sitting next to her. “We did it because we loved you. We still do. How do you think we felt—how I felt—losing you? You wouldn’t see me or talk to me, and I had to go off and fight demons, when all I could think about was you. When I found out you’d left home, I dropped the demon I was hunting and rushed back. Caused a bloody uproar. My mentor had to kill the demon. My dad was ready to kill me. I almost walked away from being a warrior. My mentor grabbed me by the ears and told me I was a fool. Not only would I betray my family and my clan, but it would endanger you.”

His voice sounded hollow, and Shay remembered a younger Cody pleading with her to understand, to stop and listen. Like the starved fool she was, she leaned against him, seeking comfort, as she had so many times before. He put his arms around her. Shay’s cheek tingled where it pressed against his chest. That sensation had never happened when she was with Jamie. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just confused. I didn’t know how to face you.”

“What was in those letters that made you so angry when I didn’t answer?”

“That I was sorry for shutting you out.” … I’m sorry for leaving angry, for not talking to you, but I need you now. Please call me. Please. It’s important…

In the second letter she begged. Her heart had broken, and it hurt to breathe. She had needed him more than she needed air, but she couldn’t tell him that now. If he got distracted and didn’t focus on this threat, he could die. Oh God. She was doing exactly what the clan had done to her, hiding things to protect him.

“I wasn’t at college. I was training in Scotland. I could see one letter getting lost, but two? It doesn’t make sense. Coira made sure we got our mail.”

“I called too, before I sent the letters. A woman answered.”

“One of the female warriors probably. I didn’t get your message.”

“I didn’t leave one. I thought…”

Cody leaned back and stared at her. “So all these years you thought I ignored you because I had a girlfriend?”

“What else could I think, after what happened? I didn’t know you tried to see me.”

“A lot more than that. You know me. You were my lif… my best friend.” He put an arm around her, pulling her close again. She leaned against his shoulder, her cheek next to his battle marks. She heard a whisper; the sound ancient, familiar, as if the marks called to her. In a matter of hours her life had become as intertwined with his as it had been before. Whether she craved him or wanted to kill him, her very soul seemed connected to his. He covered her hand with his, holding it tight against his heart as sleep slipped over her like a soft blanket.

***

Cody tried to distract himself from Shay’s scent by thinking about the letters—what she could have written that would have made her so angry when he didn’t answer—and he thought about the rose on her dresser. It was a sad indication of how rattled he was, that at the moment the rose concerned him more. Who sent it? Jamie? Shay didn’t belong with Jamie. He couldn’t know her the way Cody did, know that underneath the tough-girl exterior she was sensitive, that she cried when she laughed too hard. That she loved bubble baths, but was clumsy around water. How she felt wrapped around… he ground his teeth and moved his arm so he could slip back to the safety of the sofa, but she murmured something—he hoped it wasn’t Jamie’s name—and her hand dropped, curling around the waistband of his underwear. He talked himself out of nudging her hand lower. He managed to scoot both of them down in bed, so they didn’t get cricks in their necks, but he couldn’t sleep with that damned rose taunting him and Shay’s hand on his underwear.

He tried counting sheep. He was at 123 when her ankle slid over his. He caught his breath, torn between leaping from the bed and hoping she was awake. A sleepy sigh killed that thought. He counted at least two hundred more sheep, naming several of them, when her calf eased over his, then her thigh. He groaned, and the hand clutching the band of his underwear tensed, and she quickly removed her thigh from his lap.

“Sorry,” she said, sleepily. “I thought you…”

Thought what? That he was Jamie. Did she think it was Jamie’s bloody underwear she was holding? Well, hell!

He rolled over, half on top of her, and she let out a startled gasp. With no finesse at all, he kissed her neck. He wanted to bite her, like she’d bitten him, leave his mark on her, so she would know it was Cody MacBain she was in bed with and not Jamie Waters. At first she stiffened at the onslaught, and then her body melted under his. Her pulse pounded like a drum against his lips. He licked the pulsating skin, and she moaned. Her skin was softer than he remembered. Warmer. Fuller. He trailed kisses over every inch of flesh above her neck, and then moved lower to her breasts, stomach, and thighs. All that mattered was making sure Jamie Waters had no place in Shay’s heart or her head.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, locking her hands in his hair. Don’t let this be a damned dream like the others, he thought. Her hands moved down his back, caressing his skin, tugging at his underwear, the fabric catching on the part of him screaming for attention. He yanked off his boxer briefs, throwing them to the floor. In seconds, her clothes had joined them. He settled between her thighs, rubbed against her, then slipped inside. He tried to slow things down, but his hips wouldn’t stop moving. He was halfway to paradise when she froze. She pushed against his shoulders.

“What is it?” he asked, dazed. Was he doing something wrong? He was out of practice but—

Her green eyes were wide, panicked. “Condom.”

“I don’t have one.” He hadn’t needed one. He couldn’t remember the last time he had sex.

“We have to stop.”

“Stop?” Stop. He gritted his teeth, surged once more, so hard he was afraid it was all over anyway. He pulled out and rolled over, chest heaving. He was so close that the touch of the sheet would probably set him off.

“I’m sorry, Cody.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m to blame.” He wondered if she would be offended if he finished the job himself.

Shay rolled toward him. “You look like you’re in pain.”

He gave one affirmative grunt, afraid to move. “Just give me a minute.”

Before he could drudge up some grisly distraction, her fingers brushed his navel. The muscles of his stomach quivered. Cody sucked in a hard breath when her hand closed around him. He groaned and rolled toward her. She adjusted her grip, his lips locked on hers, and his hips rocked against her hand.

“Don’t stop,” he begged against her mouth. “Please don’t stop.” His breathing was ragged, chest ready to explode. His groin tightened, and the release came. He buried his face in her hair as his body emptied onto her stomach.

He rolled to his side and leaned his head against hers, unsure what to say. Thank you. Stay with me forever. I love you. After his breathing slowed, he grabbed a handful of tissues from the nightstand and cleaned them both off. She still hadn’t said anything, but he felt the thrumming in her body. He tossed the tissues in the trash and leaned over her. He kissed her shoulder, moving his lips to her breast. She gripped his hair, and he slid lower. It didn’t take her any longer than it had him. She moaned and her body tensed before going limp. Cody moved beside her, gathering her close against him.