“Zander…”

“It’s deVries.” He leaned forward into her face, gritting out the words. “You got your honor, Tex. Hope it helps you sleep good in your empty bed.”

The ashes inside him settled over everything, turning his world gray.

“I’m so—”

He moved toward the exit and stopped at the sight of fucking-richer-than-God Ethan Worthington. Had she arranged to meet the other Dom there?

Even as he told himself he was being an ass, deVries glanced over his shoulder at Lindsey. Hand over her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks. Right. His wife had done silent crying; hadn’t meant shit. Tamara had dumped him for a rich man who’d keep her in style without any effort on her part.

He glanced at Worthington, then Lindsey. “Looks like you won’t have an empty bed for long.”

He took little pleasure in slamming the door behind him.

On the street, the cold air slapped him in the face. Brought him up short, playing over his asshole words. Fuck. He suppressed the need to head back in and apologize. Fix things. Lindsey wasn’t Tamara—she wouldn’t play him that way.

She’d just dump him and cry. Would give up without even a fight. “We’re done.”

Not fair. Not right.

Now what? He stopped, feeling the frustration growing inside him, needing an outlet more than before.

He couldn’t do a scene. His control was shot.

A bar fight, though… He studied the rowdy tavern down the street. Full of city boys. No challenge there. But he could visit some of the places by the docks.

He glanced back at Dark Haven—a haven no longer. Big brown eyes, trembling mouth, sweet words. She’d gutted him worse than a KA-BAR.

Yeah, he’d make the rounds of the dock bars. See if he couldn’t get his outsides battered up enough to disguise the pain inside.

***

The slamming of Dark Haven’s door shattered Lindsey’s control. He wasn’t supposed to be mad at her. He should have been relieved.

“I can’t say I’ve seen deVries upset before,” Sir Ethan said. He walked around the desk and leaned his hip on the edge. Even with her vision blurry, she saw the concern in his clear blue eyes. He handed her a tissue from the box beside the computer. “What happened?”

Tears flooded her eyes faster than she could wipe them away. “H-he… I-I…” She made herself stop. Zander—DeVries—wouldn’t want to be talked about.

Why should she care? He’d been cruel…but only because she’d upset him. God, she’d really hurt him. Her lip trembled. He’d cared for her…more than she’d realized.

I changed my mind—come back.

No. She couldn’t waver. This was for the best. It was. She pulled in a shuddering breath, wanting to hit her hands on the desk, to throw things, to scream to heaven. Why—why is life so unfair? Sobs boiled up inside her, impossible to subdue.

When Sir Ethan put his arm around her, she buried her face against his chest and cried.

With a low rumble of approval, he wrapped her closer, holding her firmly. As he rubbed her shoulder, he murmured soft words she couldn’t hear. Zander had done the same before, his hands rougher, his voice harsher, and God, she wanted him.

Can’t have him.

After a minute, Lindsey regained control and struggled to pull away.

Sir Ethan’s arms tightened for a moment before he let her go.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

His aristocratic expression was gentle as he used a tissue to clean her face. “You are very welcome, sweetheart. You can have my shoulder anytime. Or anything else you need.”

The warmth in his gaze said he meant the invitation exactly as it sounded.

The Dom was a walking, talking definition of gorgeous. Skilled, powerful, caring. She should want him.

And yet, her heart was set on Zander. Why had she ever wanted to be in love? It hurt—hurt far more than any whip a sadist could wield.

***

Sitting at her small patio table the next day, Lindsey heard a knock on the duplex’s front door. A salesman? Probably not on a Sunday. Likely Rona and Abby. She didn’t care. Talking wasn’t what she had in mind.

Silence.

Good. She dumped more light rum from the bottle into her glass and studied the color. Paler than it was dark meant more alcohol than Coke. Excellent proportions.

Something rattled, and Lindsey jerked around to see the wooden side gate swing open.

Abby and Rona walked through as if they owned the place.

Jeez. “I thought this state had rules about rentals. Like giving twenty-four hours’ notice before using a key.” She glared at her landlady.

Abby smiled. “Oh, it does. Sadly there aren’t any laws governing the behavior of BFFs. Sorry.”

Shit, that was hard to answer. She scowled at Rona. “What’s your excuse for trespassing?”

“Same one. BFF—only I’m BFF number one since I’m older.” Rona sank down into a chair. “God. Joint Commission was here for the hospital survey. I think my feet are three sizes bigger.”

“Poor baby.” Abby checked the label on the bottle. “Rum sounds good. Have you got more Coke, and are you going to share?”

“Y’all are damn stubborn.” Lindsey considered getting up. Unhappily the door looked awfully far away. “Glasses are in the kitchen.”

Abby grinned. “I know where they are.”

“So you’re here because…” Lindsey prompted.

Abby reappeared with the glasses as Rona answered, “Because we were worried about you.”

“But…” She hadn’t called them, and Zander—deVries—sure wouldn’t. “How…”

“Sir Ethan talked with Xavier last night. Xavier talked with Simon,” Abby said. “Afterward, Simon talked with Zander.”

Uh-oh.

“Zander was…less than polite, I gathered. So Simon shipped him to Montana this morning to work on a security system.” Rona chortled under her breath as she poured a strong drink. “A blizzard is supposed to hit Montana tonight.”

“Serves him right.” Abby mixed herself a drink and topped off Lindsey’s with Coke. “Maybe his penis will freeze off and drop into the snow alongside his testicles.”

Oh God, they were blaming deVries for everything. Guilt pushed the alcohol aside. “He didn’t do anything. I…I was the one who broke up with him.”

“Because of what we’d talked about? Him being a sadist?” Rona asked softly.

Lindsey nodded miserably and gulped more of her drink.

“Sir Ethan said Zander was rude.” Abby set her glass down with a thump.

“Zander was furious with me.” A sob hitched Lindsey’s voice as she remembered his shocked expression. “God, I hurt him so bad. He didn’t w-want to break up. Acted as if it was something we could fix. But it wouldn’t work.” She looked at her friends. “It wouldn’t.”

“A relationship doesn’t change your basic personality,” Rona remarked carefully. “Did he think it would?”

“He only said he could handle it.” Lindsey pulled in a breath. “Except when he was relaxed, his face was all tight. He wasn’t the same. He looked like he was being rubbed raw from the inside out.”

Abby leaned back in her chair. “So he was angry and blasted you verbally.”

“Kind of.” She bit her lip. “First he said I wasn’t willing to put any effort into a relationship. And that—I could see his point. But when he saw Sir Ethan, he made a crack about me not having an empty bed. As if we broke up because I wanted Ethan. I don’t get it.”

“Huh.” Abby glanced at Rona. “Does Zander have a money hang-up or something?”

“Money?” Lindsey asked. “His ex left him for a rich guy. Still, what’s that got to do with Ethan?”

Rona blinked. “Zander was married before? I hadn’t heard that.”

“Yes. And Xavier told me Ethan’s really wealthy,” Abby said. “He doesn’t act like a snob, so most people don’t even know.”

“DeVries thinks I dumped him to get Sir Ethan’s money?” Insult set up an acid burn in her chest. “Did I tell you that was why he was so mean after the first night? He figured I’d divorced my ex and taken him for all he had.” Oh Zander.

She’d bet he didn’t really think that—had spewed something out in the heat of the moment.

“He’s got a skewed idea of women, sounds like,” Rona said. “No wonder he never gets serious. But he treated you differently.”

“I thought he did.” Lindsey frowned and blurted out, “I heard he was using me to make his boyfriend jealous.”

Rona and Abby stared and broke into laughter.

Lindsey glared. “Thanks, y’all.” With an effort, she shoved back from the table, walked into the kitchen—with only an occasional misstep—and fetched her second cure for heartsickness—a plateful of brownies with extra fudge frosting.

“Oh hey, let me help you with that.” Abby rose to take the goodies. “Look at all that chocolate. You really are feeling crappy, aren’t you?” She helped herself to one and moaned.

Rona motioned with a brownie at Lindsey. “Nice attempt at a diversion, sweetie. Now tell us why you’d think Zander has a boyfriend?”

“I’m kinda thinking it’s not my secret. And actually, I don’t believe it.” Last night, she’d decided HurtMe hadn’t been totally honest. Zander had wanted a relationship with her—he hadn’t even had a hissy fit when she’d called it going steady.

Regrettably HurtMe was right about one thing—he could offer Zander more than Lindsey. HurtMe loved pain.

Abby’s gaze had unfocused, and Lindsey could almost hear the professor’s mind buzzing. “Zander wouldn’t have told you that. Someone else did. Maybe someone who wasn’t being totally truthful.”

Lindsey straightened. “I—”

Rona clinked her glass against Abby’s. “You’re such a sociologist. Good call.”