She sank to her knees, allowing them to spread wide.
Fuck her pride. She wanted her man, and he was worth fighting for. No one had ever fought for Damon Knight. His parents had died and his family had fallen away. He’d found himself in situations beyond his control. His country wanted him as long as he was capable of serving it. But only one person had loved Damon enough to give up everything for him. She was his woman. She wouldn’t ever give up on him. She would fight for him with every breath she had left in her body.
The ship moved beneath her, jostling softly under her skin. She barely noticed it now, but when she was still and quiet, she could feel the way the boat plowed through the waves. Motion. She’d been in motion since the moment she met Damon, moving to this moment when she finally made her choice.
Time passed, minutes going by, but she found a certain peace in waiting for him, in staying in position for her Master.
Finally, she heard the cabin door open.
“Are you sure about this?” Her heart skipped a beat as she heard Simon’s voice trailing in. She’d expected Damon to return alone. “I don’t know that I like the idea of leaving the bugger alone.”
Her first instinct was to leap for her clothes, but she stayed in position. Her submission wasn’t determined by who walked into the cabin she shared with her Master.
“I think he’ll be fine,” Damon said. “We need for him to trust us and quite frankly, we need to be able to trust him. If what he says is true, and I think it is, we’re all in this together and we have some hard decisions to make about where this information goes.”
“All right then. I’ll get back to the dance floor. I’m apparently teaching a bunch of subs how to tango tonight.” Simon chuckled all of a sudden. “Well, I didn’t expect to see that. Hello, Pen. You’re looking quite lovely this evening.”
Damon huffed, a surprised sound. “Penelope? Weston, get the bloody hell out of here. Move. Now.”
She heard the shuffling of feet and then the door closing with a hard click as Damon locked it. She kept her head down because it was up to her Master to either accept or reject her gift.
Tears pricked her eyes because she’d been so foolish. He wouldn’t share her. Never.
His loafers came into view. They were normally perfectly polished but now they sported scuff marks and a long scratch on the top of the right one from where he’d stumbled trying to chase after Baz.
Accepting him meant accepting the fact that he would likely die in the field one day. It was a part of who Damon was. She wanted to beg him to quit, to retire and settle down with her, but she couldn’t. She had to accept Damon for everything he was—hero, protector, stubborn arse. She loved everything about him.
“You should get up now, Penelope. I’ll get your clothes.” His voice sounded strained, harsh even.
She tensed, her heart clenching. Had she ruined everything? “Damon, please.”
He stepped back, his hands out as though she was a dangerous creature and he needed to put space between them. “No. I’m not going to let you use me like this.”
“Use you?” She stayed still though she wanted more than anything to look up and plead with him.
“Yes. It’s what it would be. You think you can use me for sex for the rest of the mission? I’m not interested. Get your clothes and we’ll talk. I’m going to explain to you exactly how this is going to go from now on.”
Fear gripped her for a moment. “I’m sorry, Damon. I didn’t understand.”
“But you do now.” He reached for the Scotch he’d had delivered earlier and poured himself far more than he usually did. “You understand what it’s like.”
“No, I didn’t understand you.” And it was obvious he didn’t get what she was trying to tell him.
His foot tapped impatiently against the carpet. “Penelope, you will be quiet for a moment. I say that as your superior and not your Master. We both know that was only for show anyway. Put on your bloody clothes.”
She wasn’t sure where this was heading, but she wasn’t about to go backward. And he seemed to have real trouble concentrating on anything but her breasts. “I’m perfectly comfortable this way. And if you’re just my superior and not my Master, then I think I’ll make the decisions about what types of clothes I choose to wear.”
A bitter huff came from deep in his chest, and he took a long swallow of the Scotch. “Fine. You seem determined to punish me for something. Well, you’ll find I’m made of sterner stuff than that.”
Her heart softened. He looked so lost. “Damon, I can explain.”
His jaw straightened, a stubborn look coming over his face. “I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re starting over again. I pushed you far too fast and into a world you don’t have a real interest in. Fine. When we get back to England, we’ll play it your way. We’ll date. I’ll take you to a nice restaurant and treat you like a lady.”
She smiled at his words. It was ludicrous, but it was sweet to hear. “I don’t think that’s going to work.”
“It will. If you prefer vanilla sex, I can handle it. I’ll give you vanilla sex and we can work the rest of it out.”
He couldn’t even look at her while he said it. Poor Damon. He had no idea what had happened because she’d broken his cardinal rule. She hadn’t been honest with him. If she’d been brave, she would have called him out the minute he said the words and they would already be through this, but she’d been a hurt coward and she’d let Damon stew in his worry for far too long. Now he had it in his head to change his entire life for her.
But he claimed he didn’t love her.
They didn’t speak the same language. Men and women rarely did. She’d accepted that, but now she knew she’d forgotten something. Languages could be learned. They just had to be practiced.
“I love you, Damon.”
He turned, nearly knocking his glass over. “What?”
“I said I love you, Damon.” He would need to hear it many, many times before he got the meaning.
His eyes tightened, focusing on her. “I don’t understand.”
She rose to her feet and walked to him, peace filling her. This was what she should have done in the first place, but she was too used to hiding behind a wall. “I know you don’t, but I’m going to teach you.”
“Damn it, Penelope. I don’t understand a bit of this and I really don’t like it.”
He was confused and he hated it, and she hated that she’d placed him there. He looked so hard on the outside, so polished and smooth like nothing could touch him, but inside he was quite tender. Inside he was still a boy praying that someone would take care of him, love him enough to stay.
She reached out and touched him, cupping his gorgeous face in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Master. I broke trust with you. You said something that hurt me, and I didn’t ask you about it. I took that hurt and put it up like a shield between us to protect myself. It was wrong of me and I hope you can forgive me.”
He shook his head as though trying to clear it. “What did I say?”
She moved closer, brushing her pelvis against him. She sighed when his hands came out to skim the curve of her hips. “You told me if I disobeyed that you would allow every Dom on board to have a go at me.”
Pure confusion was on his face now. “I explained that.”
“Yes, you explained that you meant they could swat my arse. But that wasn’t what I heard.”
His hands tightened as realization seemed to dawn. “You thought…you bloody well thought I would let them fuck you as a punishment? You thought I would let other men use you?”
She was probably in for a few bad moments because there was a righteous indignation in his tone. Perhaps he would handle it a bit better if she showed him just how sorry she was. She took a step back and found her position once more, spreading her legs as wide as she could and allowing her head to fall submissively forward. Her Master had been overstimulated. Between the torture she’d put him through and then all the terror at the church, he’d likely had enough.
“I asked you a question.” Yes, his frustration was right there in his voice.
“Yes, Master. That’s what I thought.” Her arse was already starting to ache, and he hadn’t even touched her yet. She let herself cry because it seemed to move him and because she was done with all the games. The day had been perfectly dreadful and she needed to cry, to let it all out. She loved this lifestyle. It had all gone badly when she had played it vanilla. Kink couples had to talk. They had to communicate about everything and she’d broken that rule.
His hand came down, fingers finding her chin and tipping her head up toward him. His face was tight as he looked down at her. “And you didn’t think about talking to me about it? You thought I was the type of man who would share my submissive with every bloody cock in the place and you didn’t once think about asking me why?”
Put like that it really did sound bad. “I thought about it, Master. Once. Perhaps twice.”
“Those tears aren’t going to save you. Are you mine?”
An easy question. “Yes.”
“Say it again.”
She smiled up at him. He really did like that particular word. “Yes.”
He shook his head. “No. Not that. What you said before. I want to hear it again.”
“I love you, Damon.” She hoped he could see to her soul so he would know just how much she meant those words.
“I will never share you with anyone.” His voice was rough with emotion. “Do you know what it took for me to not put a bullet in that arsehole who hit you today?”
It wouldn’t ever matter that the man was defending himself. Damon would try to protect her, defend her, avenge her if need be. “I thank you, Master, for being so indulgent.”
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