Or she could just be fooling herself again.

The lift doors opened, and he gestured her inside. Of course he would. He knew how to play the gentleman, but she wasn’t used to it. He entered behind her and the doors closed.

“What are your thoughts on the possible weapon?” He pressed the button for six.

She might have fallen asleep during the discussion, but at least she’d read the materials. She might not say anything that hadn’t already been said, but she did have some thoughts.

“I’m worried it’s sarin.” Sarin gas was a nerve agent. “This group might be attempting to mimic the 1995 Tokyo subway attacks that killed thirteen people. The cult that organized the attack used very basic means of diffusion. They wouldn’t need to smuggle in more than the gas. It might be difficult to get that on board the boat. They would need quite a bit of it. I know it’s lethal, but it dissipates quickly. And why would they need a certain individual? Why not just send the bloke through as a tourist and mail the gas? It could be done.”

The doors opened again. It did seem a bit elaborate when a simple plan was always best.

Damon led her this time, a keycard in his hand. “I have a card for you, too. It’s with your things. My apartments are locked at all times. So is my office. I work in both places. I upped my security after I nearly got killed in my own bloody home.”

The door swung open, but Penelope was caught by the moonlight shining down on the atrium. She stepped up to the railing, turning her head up and then looking down. Even from this height, she could see the flowers had opened. Gorgeous white blooms dotted the dungeon below.

This was Damon’s fantasy. Darkness that brought about light.

“Do you like it?” He was standing behind her, so close she could feel the heat of his body, but he didn’t reach out to touch her.

“I love it.” She’d never seen anything like it. Decadent. Beautiful.

He moved to stand beside her, leaning on the railing, his eyes on the dungeon below. “I was trying to protect you. I know I was harsh, but he killed a woman who worked for me. He killed her here. I couldn’t stand the thought that he might hurt you.”

“I understand that.”

“Do you?” He finally turned to her, his hand coming up to brush back her hair. “I don’t think you do. Until you’ve really known violence, you can’t conceive of it. I’m going to try to make sure this all runs smoothly so you don’t have to understand.”

Despite her best intentions, she was back to feeling comfortable around him. It was easy. Somehow, they fit now in a way they hadn’t before, as though his near-death experience had fundamentally changed him. He wasn’t softer, not at all. He was more serious, more willing to look at her and really see her. “Why do you and Simon not get along?”

“A couple of reasons,” he explained. “I ran the op that led to him leaving SIS. He fucked up and believed the wrong man.”

“You fired him?”

“No. Nigel reprimanded him and he quit. I know you’re friends with him and he’s a pleasant enough chap, but he’s led a rather charmed life. He always seemed to me like he was a rich boy playing at being an agent. Tag seems to have toughened him up. He got the jump on me last year.”

She couldn’t imagine anyone getting the jump on Damon, but Simon did seem harder, more dangerous than she’d remembered him. And he’d spent much of the evening staring at the girl with the limp like he could eat her alive.

Her mind flashed back to that moment in the washroom. Damon had tasted her. He’d put his fingers to his lips, the ones he’d brought her to orgasm with, and he’d tasted her.

She was going to sleep beside Damon Knight. Was she really going to hold him off in bed?

She was worried she had to or she would spend the rest of her life mourning him. He was reckless with his own life, dedicated to a career that didn’t offer a lot of longevity. Even if he decided to keep her as a partner, it wouldn’t be love.

Penelope Cash wanted to be loved. Like Charlotte and Ian Taggart. She wanted to know why that ridiculously hard man softened when he looked at his wife. She wanted to know why Charlotte was so comfortable in her skin.

Damon might be able to give her some of what she needed, but he would never love her the way she wanted.

“Have I lost you?” Damon asked, the sweetest smile on his face.

“Sorry. I’m tired.” The day had been exhausting, and she was looking at several weeks of being intimate with a man she shouldn’t give in to.

“Of course. Come on, then. Your things are in my rooms.” He opened the door and allowed her in. “The bathroom is in the back. I’ll use the guest bathroom for now. I’m going to shower. I’ll be in there awhile.”

She nodded and walked through the hall toward the room he’d gestured to. Damon’s inner sanctum was lush and beautiful, like the dungeon. She peeked through an open door and found what had to be his office. Dominated by a huge masculine-looking desk, the office was filled with books. A single light had been left on, and she could see him there working by himself.

She knew she should leave, but she couldn’t help herself. She stepped into the office. There was exactly one picture frame in the entire room. It was sitting on the desk. Penelope moved around so she could get a glimpse of what Damon thought worthy to frame. The rest of the building contained artwork and prints, but this was smaller, more personal.

Her heart clenched a little. It was an old photo. A man, a woman, and a child of maybe four years. The toddler was male and had the most exuberant smile on his face. His arms were up as though this was a kid who embraced everything around him. His parents both had a hand on him, keeping him safe and loved.

God, this was Damon before his parents had died. He’d been adored and protected, and it all had been taken from him in a single day.

What had that been like? Her father had been distant. Her mother had loved her, but never asked for more. And yet she’d always had a support network. Damon hadn’t. He’d been that kid in the photo and then he’d been lost.

A lost boy.

Was he still lost and searching for someone who could bring him home?

It didn’t matter. It didn’t. The tears in her eyes didn’t mean anything. She forced herself out of the room. She made her way to the bedroom.

Decadence predominated. Damon’s bedroom was large and his bed was huge and sultry. She shook her head, trying not to think about all the things he could do to her there.

Her trunk was sitting beside the left-hand side of the bed. He’d left it open. A sense of the familiar washed over her as she knelt beside it. She looked through the trunk but couldn’t find her gowns. She had a dozen or so night shifts, and none of them seemed to be here.

Bastard. No underwear. No gowns.

She sighed. She wasn’t going to be defeated so easily. She’d need to buy more. She went to his dresser and opened a couple of drawers before she found his white undershirts. They would do. She pulled one free and strode to the loo.

Naturally, his loo was larger than her bedroom at home. There was a separate bath and shower. That didn’t happen in London real estate, but she was sure it was normal for Damon Knight. She turned on the hot water, undressed, and stepped in.

Pure pleasure flowed across her skin. Heat suffused her, and she wished she could make worse choices. Damon would be here with her if she wasn’t so fucking practical. She could be with him if she didn’t overthink absolutely everything.

Penelope quickly washed off, ready to slide in between the sheets and sleep. Tomorrow she would have to figure out what to do, but tonight she would sleep.

After turning off the shower, she dried off and slipped Damon’s shirt over her head, trying not to think about how he smelled. Clean and masculine, with just a hint of spice.

The shirt enveloped her, hitting her just a tiny bit above her knees.

She walked into the bedroom and stopped because she wasn’t alone.

Damon was standing in front of the bed, his hands pulling down the comforter and sheet.

He was completely and utterly and gorgeously naked, his backside on full display. No bum should look that good. It shouldn’t make her mouth water, her insides slide against each other in a long, slow dive to arousal.

“You’re naked.” It might be the dumbest thing she’d ever said. It was obvious he was naked since he wasn’t wearing any clothing. His cock had been laying against his muscular thigh, but the minute he’d turned and looked at her, it had started to rise.

“It’s how I sleep.” He seemed to ignore his dick, pulling the sheets down and fluffing the pillows. He drew them back and moved onto the bed, his body long and lean on the perfectly white sheets. He laid his head against the white pillow, making his hair look even darker than before. He didn’t bother to cover his body. All of it—from his perfect hair, to his ridiculously cut chest, to a six-pack to die for, to his muscular legs—were on display.

She couldn’t stand there and drool. She moved to the opposite side of the bed. She noticed he’d taken the side closest to the door. To protect her.

God, he was so hard to resist. He was an obnoxious mix of perfect man and selfish child. “You can’t go to bed like that.”

His eyes narrowed, staring at her. “You keep telling me all the things I can’t do. I don’t like it. Do I need to remind you that I’m in charge? I’m the senior agent. I’m the Dom. You’re the sub. If you can’t remember that, we’re going to have a serious problem.”

He was in charge. He was in charge of her. She couldn’t help it. It did something for her. The fact that he wanted to be responsible for her actions, her life, meant something. But it didn’t mean he loved her.