The earl remained seated behind his desk, proof that manners had followed chivalry down Mayfair’s jakes.
“Harriet, if you wish to discuss a matter of significance with me, you may make an appointment with Snetten. The press of business does not allow me to humor you at this time.”
Snetten, poor lad, was Falmouth’s secretary and whipping boy. He was frequently the last member of the household to bed, staying up until all hours in the kitchen, copying correspondence for his lordship.
“Snetten was never married to my cousin. Snetten is not the head of this family. Snetten is doubtless daft—witness he accepted employment with you—but I’ll not discuss your ludicrous schemes through an intermediary.”
Hattie knew better than to sit, because then Falmouth would rise, pace around her once or twice while offering pomposities of no relevance whatsoever, and then leave the room.
Falmouth tossed his quill pen to the blotter and heaved up a longsuffering sigh. “Harriet, the girls must marry. Would you have them end up as you have, a poor relation, dependent on the charity of distant family?”
Over the years, Hattie had endured a barrage of such slurs, which were in fact, veiled threats.
“I am not related to you, thank God, but I am the closest thing your daughters have to a respectable chaperone. Toss me out on my ear, and you’ll have to pay for a companion while you explain to polite society why I’m begging in the streets.”
She was tempted to do that. She could sit in Hyde Park with a begging bowl, moaning piteously about Lord Falmouth’s cruelty—though that would reflect poorly on his daughters.
Falmouth whipped out a handkerchief and rubbed a non-existent fingerprint from the ruby glass of the ink well. “Iris is old enough—”
Hattie slapped both palms onto the blotter hard enough to make the earl start. “Precisely. Iris is the eldest. She is also the smartest, the kindest, the most likely to find matches for her sisters, and the least likely to make a ninnyhammer of herself before a duke.”
Falmouth tucked away his handkerchief, folding it deliberately and precisely in a display of controlling behavior that made Hattie want to strangle him with his own linen. But then, Falmouth wasn’t very bright. He needed his posturing and drama because they afforded him time to think.
“Clonmere won’t notice Iris. She’s perfectly positioned to do reconnaissance for her sisters, and as you say, she’s loyal. If Clonmere can be matched with Lily, Holly, or Hyacinth, Iris will see it done.”
And typical of his lordship, that one conclusion—Iris will get the job done if anybody could—was as far as his limited intelligence and even more limited paternal sentiment could take him.
“And if Iris cannot effect that miracle? If even her good offices, abetted by my own, can’t present a trio of pretty, timid, empty-headed, ornaments as potential duchesses? What then?”
Falmouth sat back. “Clonmere will honor his father’s promise. He must choose one of the three. He’s not a boy, and his mother is determined he shall wed. I’m presenting him with the solution to a problem, you see. His Grace need not sort through every hat box on Mayfair’s shelves, he need only consider three.”
Dear God, the race would soon die out if this was an example of its leading lights. “A woman is not a piece of millinery, Falmouth.”
Falmouth took out a pen knife—silver handle engraved with his cost of arms—and began slicing at the tip of his quill.
“A woman is not a source of income either, Harriet.” He treated her to a pointed look, which was intended to produce shame and guilt—for having served in his household without pay for years out of simple loyalty to his daughters.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it? Iris has means, while her sisters don’t. You can’t afford for Iris to waltz off with the duke, because you’ve failed to set aside enough for her sisters.”
An interesting shade of red crept up Falmouth’s neck, and the knife slipped.
“Damn and blast. Now look what you’ve made me do.” He wrapped his free hand around the blood welling from his finger, though the cut was tiny. “Blood won’t wash out. How many times has Crevins told me that? This is your fault, with your foolish female—”
Hattie passed him her handkerchief. “Let the wound bleed for a moment to reduce the probability of infection, then apply steady, direct pressure. You’ll live, Falmouth, more’s the pity.”
He sent her a sullen boy’s rebellious look and wrapped his injured finger with her handkerchief. “If you’ve nothing more to say, please leave before you cause further mishaps. I’m a busy man, and I’ll thank you to trust me to do what’s best for my daughters.”
He was a pathetic man, doing for his daughters what was necessary to maintain his standing before his peers.
“Is Peter gambling again?”
In the space of a breath, Falmouth went from aging, pouty boy, to elderly and overwhelmed father. “Every heir sows wild oats.”
“He’s beggaring you with his stupidity, just as you probably beggared your papa. Set him on a budget, my lord, and enforce the figure the first time he exceeds it. If your own father had done the same with you, you could afford to dower all of your daughters handsomely.”
Falmouth peered at the wound, which was, of course, still seeping blood. “Get out.”
“Steady, direct pressure, Falmouth. The more often you peek, the longer it will bleed.” She barely refrained from adding, you imbecile. Falmouth had always been too full of his own consequence, but the late countess had known how to flatter him, encourage the good in him, and jolly him from his self-inflicted dismals.
The longer Falmouth remained without a countess to manage him, the more arrogant and unpleasant he became.
“I’m leaving,” Harriet said. “I thought you should know that. At the end of this Season, I’ll be removing to my sister’s household in Surrey. Iris will be welcome to join us.”
This announcement was the result of long consideration. If Iris was on hand to limit her sisters’ commercial excesses, keep the staff running smoothly, and mind the earl’s household budget, his lordship would never bear the consequences of his own folly.
“Fine. Abandon the girls when they need you most, turn your back on my years of generosity. I wish you the joy of your dotage.”
Harriet had never liked Falmouth. He was a willfully immature man, and determined to stay that way. His concerns, needs, and wants weren’t his first considerations, they were his only considerations. Every universe had him at its center. With his heir showing signs of adopting the same view of life, the household could only become miserable.
“All of your daughters will be welcome under my roof,” Harriet said, “and we will manage more happily with limited means than you do with all your rents and investments. Poverty of the heart is a worse affliction than poverty of coin.”
Before the earl could fumble out another insult, Harriet left, closing the door quietly behind her.
“CLONMERE HAS A CHARMING SMILE,” Iris said. “He’s mannerly and attractive.”
Lily’s stabbed at her embroidery hoop. “Does that mean he’s handsome? I’ve seen him across the square, but broad shoulders mean little if a man talks with his mouth full.”
Oh, this was difficult. Iris wanted to gush about the duke—she should gush about the duke—but she also wanted to hoard the details of her encounter for herself.
“He’d never talk with his mouth full,” she said. “He has the natural sense of self-possession that men comfortable in their own skin acquire. He would partner you on the dancefloor, not haul you about. You’d have a conversation, not be consigned to listening adoringly while he talks about his hounds.”
Hyacinth looked up from her lace. “But I listen adoringly so well.”
Holly laughed. “And being hauled about has become a habit. I’m sure I can’t recall the steps of any dance I ever learned.” They exchanged a look that between twins communicated volumes.
“Clonmere’s duchess will be happy in her marriage,” Iris said. “Though she will be challenged as well.”
Lily snipped off her thread. “Because of all the entertaining?”
“That too, though a competent staff can handle those obligations. If Clonmere is bringing charm, intelligence, means, honor, a title, and more to the union, then his duchess had better be equipped with charm, intelligence, settlements, dignity, graciousness, and loyalty, at least. You’ll have to make an effort to hold his interest if you expect him to hold yours.”
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