"Night, Gabe. I really like you a lot."
Gabe had flinched, then tried to cover it up "Thank you, Chip."
She blamed Gabe, even as she knew he was doing his best not to hurt Edward. That made Gabe's helplessness all the more painful, and her decision to leave even more necessary.
When she'd tucked Edward in, she'd tried to talk to him about what was happening, but he'd only shaken his head.
"Me and Gabe like each other lots, so we don't have to go to Flor'da now."
One of the mothers came into the parking lot and glanced in Rachel's direction. She fumbled with the key in the ignition. One more week…
Oh, Gabe… Why can't you love my child for who he is? And why can't you come to peace with Cherry's ghost so you can love me, too?
She wanted to prop her head against the steering wheel and cry until she had no tears left, but if she gave in, she'd crumble into so many pieces she'd never be able to put herself back together again. And self-pity wouldn't change the facts. Her son wasn't going to grow up with a man who couldn't tolerate him. And she wouldn't live the rest of her life in another woman's shadow. Before she left, however, there was something she had to do.
The Escort shuddered as she pulled from the parking lot. She took a deep breath and set off down Wynn Road toward the small web of streets that made up the poorest part of Salvation. She turned onto Orchard, a narrow, potholed lane that curved sharply up the side of a hill. Tiny one-story homes with crumbling front steps perched on barren, untended yards. An old Chevy sat on blocks at the side of one house, a rusted boat trailer near another.
The small, mint-green house at the end of Orchard was tidier than most of the others. The porch was swept and the yard neat. A basket of ivy geraniums hung from a hook near the front door.
Rachel parked on the street and climbed the uneven front walk. As she stepped onto the porch, she heard the sound of a game show coming from the television inside. The cracked door buzzer didn't look operable, so she knocked instead.
A faded, but pretty, young woman appeared. Her short blond hair had a slightly brassy home-done look. She was small and thin, dressed in a cropped white sleeveless top and worn denim shorts that rode low on her narrow hips and showed her navel. She looked to be in her early thirties, but Rachel suspected she was younger. Something tired and wary in her expression made Rachel recognize a fellow traveler on life's bumpier highway. "Are you Emily's mother?"
When the woman nodded, Rachel introduced herself. "I'm Rachel Stone."
"Oh." She looked surprised. "My mother said you might stop by sometime, but I didn't believe her."
Rachel had dreaded this part of it. "It's not about that. Your mother… She's a lovely person, but…"
The woman smiled. "It's all right. She has a lot more faith in miracles than I do. I'm sorry if she's been bothering you, but her intentions are good."
"I know they are. I wish I could help that way, but I'm afraid I can't."
"Come in anyway. I could use some company." She pushed open the screen. "I'm Lisa."
"It's nice to meet you." Rachel stepped into a small living room overcrowded with a nubby beige sectional sofa, an old recliner, some end tables, and a television. The furniture was of good quality, but mismatched and worn in a way that made Rachel suspect the pieces came from Lisa's mother.
On the left, a section of counter separated the kitchen from the living area, with the pair of wooden shutters designed to divide off the space folded accordion-style against the wall. The beige Formica counter held the familiar clutter of canisters, toaster, a wicker basket spilling over with paperwork, two ripe bananas, and a lidless Russell Stover candy box filled with broken crayons. As Rachel gazed around at the plain, homey surroundings, she wondered when she'd be able to afford even this much..
Lisa turned off the television and gestured toward the recliner. "Would you like a Coke? Or maybe coffee? Mom brought over some of her poppy-seed muffins yesterday."
"No, thanks."
Rachel settled in the recliner, and there was an awkward pause that neither of them quite knew how to bridge.
Lisa swept up a copy of Redbook from the sofa and took a seat.
"How is your daughter?"
Lisa shrugged. "She's sleeping now. We thought her leukemia was in remission, but then she had a relapse. The doctors have done everything they can, so I brought her home."
Her eyes looked haunted, and Rachel understood what she wouldn't say. That she'd brought her daughter home to die.
Rachel bit her bottom lip and reached for her purse. From the very moment it had happened, she'd known what she had to do, and now the time had come. "I've brought something."
Rachel pulled out the check for twenty-five thousand dollars that Cal Bonner had given her and handed it over. "This is for you."
She watched the play of emotions ranging from confusion to disbelief cross Lisa's face.
Lisa's hand trembled. She blinked her eyes, as if she were having trouble focusing. "It's-it's made out to you. What is this?"
"I've endorsed it over to Emily's Fund. It's postdated a week from tomorrow, so you'll have to wait to deposit it."
Lisa studied the signature on the back, then gaped at Rachel. "But this is so much money. And I don't even know you. Why are you doing this?"
"Because I want you to have it."
"But…"
"Please. It means a lot to me." She smiled. "I do have one request, though. I'm leaving town next Monday, and, after I'm gone, I'd really appreciate it if you'd send Cal Bonner a note thanking him for his generosity."
"Of course I will. But…" Lisa retained the stunned look of someone who wasn't accustomed to hearing good news.
"He'll love knowing his money will be helping your daughter," Rachel allowed herself a moment of satisfaction. She would have fulfilled Cal's terms, so he couldn't ask for the money back. But he'd also know she'd gotten the best of him.
"Mommy…"
Lisa's shoulders straightened as a small, weary voice came from the back of the house. "Coming." She rose, the precious check clutched in her hand. "Would you like to meet Emily?"
If Lisa's mother had been present, Rachel would have made an excuse, but Lisa didn't seem to expect any miracle healing from her. "I'd love to."
Lisa tucked the check in her pocket, then led Rachel down the short hallway that opened between the living room and kitchen. They passed a bedroom on the right with a bathroom directly opposite, and then came to Emily's room.
Little girls in sunbonnets frolicked across the wallpaper and yellow eyelet curtains framed the room's single window. A bouquet of partially deflated helium balloons bobbed lethargically in one corner and get-well cards were propped on every surface. Many of them had begun to curl at the corners.
Rachel's eyes sought out the room's twin bed, where a pale little girl lay in wrinkled blue sheets. Her face was bloated, and dark bruises marred her arms. A few short wisps of fuzzy brown hair covered her small head like thistledown. She held a pink teddy bear and regarded Rachel out of luminous green eyes.
Lisa went to the side of her bed. "Want some juice, peanut?"
"Yes, please."
She fixed the pillow so Emily could sit up. "Apple or orange?"
"Apple."
Lisa straightened the top sheet. "This is Rachel. She's a friend, not a doctor. Maybe you'd like to show her Blinky while I get your juice. Rachel, this is Emily."
Rachel came forward as Lisa left the room. "Hi, Emily. Do you mind if I sit on your bed?"
She shook her head, and Rachel settled on the edge of the mattress. "I'll bet I know who Blinky is."
Emily glanced at her pink teddy bear and hugged it tighter.
Rachel gently touched the tip of the child's button nose. "I'll bet this is Blinky."
Emily smiled and shook her head.
"Oh, I've got it now." She touched Emily's ear. "This must be Blinky."
Emily giggled. "No."
They continued to play the game for a few more rounds until Rachel correctly identified the bear. The little girl was a born charmer, and it was heartbreaking to see the devastation the disease had wreaked on her.
Lisa came in with a yellow plastic mug, but just as Rachel began to get up from the side of the bed so she could give the juice to her daughter, the phone rang. Lisa extended the mug toward Rachel. "Would you mind?"
"Of course not."
As Lisa left, Rachel helped Emily sit the rest of the way up and brought the cup to her lips.
"I can do it myself."
"Of course you can. You're a big girl."
The child grasped the mug in both hands, took a sip, then gave it back.
"Can you drink a little more?"
Even that small effort had exhausted her, and Emily's eyelids drooped.
Rachel lay her back down and set the cup on the bedside table amidst a jungle of pill bottles. "I have a boy just a little older than you."
"Does he like to play outside?"
Rachel nodded and took the child's hand.
"I like to play outside, but I don't get to 'cause I have 'kemia."
"I know."
Old ways died hard, and, as Rachel gazed down into the little girl's small, pale face, she found herself once again berating the God she didn't believe in. How could You do this? How could You let such a terrible thing happen to this beautiful child?
From out of nowhere, Gabe's words came back to her. Maybe you've got God mixed up with Santa Claus.
Sitting next to this child who clung so desperately to life must have heightened her senses because the words struck her in a way they hadn't before. Something inside her grew still and calm, and, for the first time, she understood what Gabe had been trying to say. Her vision of God was a child's vision.
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