5

Raven looked up from the client she’d just finished working on to catch sight of Erin coming through the door with Alexander on her hip.

When he saw Raven, his face lit up and he clapped. “Auntie!”

The thing about three-year-olds was that they didn’t judge you. Oh well, they did, but for stuff like not having Goldfish crackers in your cabinets. So she always was sure to have Goldfish in her cabinets, because hello.

She’d never understood this about children before Alexander had been born. Raven had always tended to avoid them before that. But when he’d come along, she’d fallen in love nearly instantly.

Alexander, like his mother, was simply impossible not to love. And so she’d given up trying to keep any walls around her heart and it had been one of the best decisions she’d ever made.

Being with Alexander was always so awesome because he accepted her. The way she was. Not the way he thought she should be. There was something comforting in that.

She thanked her client, a guy she’d done work on for nearly ten years, and moved to where Brody had intercepted Alexander, swinging him up high and then bringing him in close for a hug.

He giggled, joy simply radiating from him. “Bo, Bo, Bo! Yo.”

Raven laughed at what a big old softie Brody was.

Erin grinned up at her brother, watching the way Alexander crawled up that chest with absolutely no fear.

“He’s going to give me a heart attack. He’s not afraid of anything.”

Brody snorted. “Welcome to my world. You and Adrian aged me at least fifteen years, and you’re both still around today. Uncle Brody isn’t going to drop this kiddo.”

“No way, Bo!” Alexander kissed his uncle’s chin, tugging his beard.

He wouldn’t, Raven knew. He was just that sort of man.

“It’s probably also that his dads are so gigantic he has no idea that’s not the norm.” Raven put her head on Erin’s shoulder a moment as they watched Alexander.

“Could be. How are things?”

“Not bad at all. Seems to be my week for visits from people at the shop, so I can’t complain. You?”

“Groovy. Want to come to Red Mill with me and the young master? He sat straight up in bed this morning and shouted, ‘Rings!’ I took that as a suggestion we come grab you for a lunch date.”

Brody handed him over to Raven and he latched on, hugging her neck and giving her sloppy kisses. She squeezed him back, loving his weight and the way he trusted her to hold and not let go.

Erin kissed his elbow. “What say you, baby? Can Auntie come along for burgers and rings?”

He let go enough to lean back and look up into Raven’s face. He grinned, showing a neat row of straight white teeth. “Sure. Yes!”

“Awesome. It’s a date then.” She swung him to her hip and he held on, playing with her hair as she checked her appointments. “I’m free for another few hours.”

“I wish it wasn’t so cold already or we could make a picnic of it.”

“Ah well, it’s always a picnic when we’re together.” She kissed Alexander’s forehead.

They walked, as it wasn’t raining and they weren’t in a hurry. Once she put him down, Alexander held her hand on one side and his mom’s on the other.

“How’d it go? With Jonah, I mean.”

Raven rolled her eyes at Erin’s failure to sound so casual when she was really just digging for info.

“He came in to take me to lunch yesterday. I’m starting his tat tomorrow night actually. You should see his house. View of the lake. Huge. Lots of art all over the place. He can cook pretty well too.”

Well aware of Alexander’s awesome ability to mimic and repeat any and all manner of things, Raven knew Erin was dying to ask about sexytimes but couldn’t. This amused her greatly.

“Gillian says he asked about you. Through Daisy and Levi, of course. It was nice, don’t get that look.”

“He’s the type who wants to know everything.”

Erin laughed. “He’s going to be so frustrated with you. Then again, I’m going to bet he finds the mystery hot.”

“He’s bossy. I’m sure he thinks it’s simply his due to know everything about me.”

Erin sent one raised brow as Raven opened the door at Red Mill.

“Rings. Rings. Rings!” Alexander did a little dance as they waited in line.

“I feel you, kid.” She gave her order quickly and efficiently. They didn’t mess around at Red Mill. You didn’t talk on your cell phone when you got to the counter or they’d send you to the end of the line. They didn’t have a twenty-eight-page menu. But everything they did, they did to perfection, including the green chili chicken sandwich and rings she was going to stuff down her gullet in just a few minutes.

It was late enough that they found a table and squeezed in. Alexander tapped and sang as Erin blew on the freshly made rings so he wouldn’t burn his tongue.

Her friend was an awesome mother. Alexander would never have even a moment in his childhood when he doubted how much he was loved. It meant a lot to Raven to know that on his behalf. Meant a lot to know that Alexander would grow up to be an adult who lavished love and attention on his children too.

And it also meant a lot to Raven to know she could love this child and prove to herself that she wasn’t so broken she was incapable of being a mother herself. If she ever wanted to, which she wasn’t sure about.

But Alexander helped her put a lot of perspective between herself and her history.

“You’re coming for Thanksgiving, right?”

Raven sighed. “I don’t know, Erin. I usually travel at the holidays.”

“But things have changed now.” Erin tipped her chin in Alexander’s direction.

“Will Adrian be there?”

“Gillian will. And Poppy. And Miles and Rennie and Martine. And Alexander.”

Alexander waved an onion ring round. “I be there.”

“That’s always my favorite part, bud.” She smiled his way before looking back to Erin. “You’re really sneaky and underhanded.” Erin knew Raven couldn’t resist things if Alexander was part of them.

“I totally am. Which is ultimately part of my charm. Let’s be real.”

“It’s sad you have such deep self-esteem problems. I’m not a holiday-with-the-family person. You know that.”

“The people you were born to don’t deserve you anyway. What I know is that I’m your family. And I love you and this monkey right here loves you and Gillian loves you. Brody loves you. Rennie adores you. Even Adrian has softened because that baby of his thinks you’re the best thing ever. Please? You’re often gone during the holiday season and I don’t want you to be alone. I want you at my table eating turkey.”

“You’re not going to be satisfied until I agree, are you?” Not that Raven really wanted her to be disappointed. Knowing someone wanted her at their table meant something.

“Heck no.” Erin’s grin showed no guilt.

Alexander patted her hand. “Heck no. There’s turkey!”

Raven kissed Alexander’s temple and he shoved a piece of grilled cheese sandwich in his mouth.

“Fine.”

“You need to always give in to my requests. Things would be so much easier that way.”

Raven rolled her eyes and Alexander told her about his new preschool class before they finished up and walked back to the shop. Pausing for bird sightings and to take a few turns on the swings.

It had been a very nice two-hour break.

“It’s good you have an in with the boss to take such long breaks.” Erin winked at her as Alexander strolled over to watch his uncle work.

Erin owned the café next door so Alexander had spent a lot of his childhood not only there but in Written On The Body as well.

“Kid’s got a fascination with ink.” At least he knew people who’d give him great work when the time came. Or he’d end up a tattoo artist.

“He’s lucky enough to be able to watch two of the very best in the world on a regular basis.” Erin waggled her brows. “We need to get together for drinks so you can give me all the dirty details about Jonah,” she added in an undertone. “You’re coming to Delicious on Sunday, right?”

Raven shifted, uncomfortable. Mary, the woman who ran the supper club, came up once a month to host it for their friends and family. The food was wonderful, but it was exhausting to put out all the effort everyone expected of Raven.

Erin looked to Alexander, who had hopped up next to Brody, watching intently. “She asked if you were coming. Mary likes you. It’s a fun adult thing and I so rarely get that. I want you there. I know it’s selfish of me. But we can have some wine and you can tell me about Jonah.”

“Or I can write you an e-mail or you can call.”

Erin’s expression told Raven that her friend wouldn’t let up until she agreed. “Everyone is so nice. I’m not one of you.”

“Stop pretending to be so hard. This is me you’re talking to.”

“It makes me really tired. With you I don’t have to work so fucking hard. I’m just . . . anyway. Maybe I’ll go.”

Erin searched her features and Raven didn’t want to be known so well right then. She craved the lonely—but under her control—space people made around her when they didn’t get her.

And Erin made it worse by hugging her and speaking in her ear. “I love you, Raven. I love every part of you. I accept you because you always have loved every part of me. Thank you.”

“Stop. Please. Not now.” Tears threatened and she willed them away.

Erin brushed the hair back from Raven’s face. “I’m sorry. I just like being around you and it’s been so awesome having you here more since Alexander has come. I want other people to know you like Brody and I do.”