My eyes finally fell on her, and I tried to rein in the caveman instinct that rose up inside me. She was holding Shea again. I swear to God there was something about that woman holding a baby that just set my blood on fire and made me want to get her pregnant immediately. I hadn’t brought up the baby topic since the night we’d fought about it before Rachel had been taken. With how upset she’d gotten, I’d been afraid to, but God, the more I saw her holding my cousin’s daughter, the more I wanted this for us.

I knew we were both still young. Rachel was twenty-two and I was twenty-six, but not only did I have a career that constantly reminded me of how fragile life was . . . my entire time with Rachel had been one giant reminder that everything you knew could be gone in a second.

Seeing death as often as Mason and I did already made us both the kind of guys that didn’t wait for what we knew we wanted . . . and a family with Rachel wasn’t an exception. But until she was at a place where she wanted a family too, I would keep my mouth shut about it.

Rachel laughed at something Eli’s fiancée, Paisley, was saying to the group of girls; and like I had just a few seconds ago, she began scanning the room. As soon as her eyes met mine, her body relaxed and she smiled softly.

I said I’d keep my mouth shut. But when had I ever been the kind of guy to make sure Rachel wasn’t pushed out of her comfort zone?

Lifting the beer up to my lips, I raised my eyebrows and let my eyes slide over to Shea before meeting Rachel’s again. She just shook her head at me, but that smile never left her face, and her eyes didn’t leave mine until Mrs. Jenkins captured her attention.

Well. That hadn’t been the “fuck you, Kash” I’d been expecting.

Eli called my name, and I reluctantly dragged my eyes from Rachel to look at him. “Come talk to me,” he said softly and walked toward the back door.

“Dude,” Mason said, and put a hand on my chest to stop me from walking. “This is where he kills you. Don’t go out there.”

“What? Mase, you’re so fucking dumb.”

“I’m not joking, give me a minute, I’ll go around the front and to the side. I’ll be waiting just in case he tries anything. The dude hates both of us.”

I snorted and took another long pull of my beer. “I wonder why, Mason? You’re having sex with his sister, and I’m sleeping with someone he views as a sister. There’s no way he doesn’t know that. Rachel lives with me, and Candice has been living with you; and neither of you are worried about how public you are with it. At least I’m in love with, and about to marry, the sister that I’m sleeping with. You’re just fucking Candice because you’re bored.”

“Don’t make it seem like he hates me more! Homeboy is staying in my apartment tonight. I want to be able to sleep without being afraid he’s going to kill me.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him.

“He has to hate you more, you didn’t even ask him if you could marry Rachel.”

I turned and threw my arms out. “I asked Candice and Eli’s dad, George! Well, I asked him before I asked her to marry me the second time.”

Mason pointed his beer bottle at me and I shook my head.

“So fucking dumb, Mase.”

Walking to the door, I turned and made sure Rachel was still distracted with all the women in the corner before slipping outside and finding Eli. He stayed silent as I walked over to him and still didn’t say anything for another minute after I was in front of him.

Maybe I should have had Mason wait on the side of the house.

“Uh, what’s going on, man?”

Rachel had told me about how Eli had helped her through the time after her parents had died. I remember her telling me how he had this quiet intensity that soothed her. But right now, I had to wonder how it soothed her, because I was noticing the quiet intensity . . . and it was scaring the shit out of me.

“You know I love Rachel just the same as I do Candice. I’ve grown up having her there, she’s always been a part of the family, just like Candice was a part of hers before her parents died.”

I nodded and waited for him to continue.

“There was so much that happened in her life, and no matter how much she’ll tell you about it, you’ll never be able to fully understand what she went through. But she’s so damn strong, I’ve always been in awe of her and the way she’s made it through some of the shittiest situations. I have no doubt that a lesser woman wouldn’t have made it through what Rachel has in the last year. Sometimes I wish that she wasn’t as strong, that she would need to come back to California so that I could make sure she was okay there. But then she wouldn’t be Rachel, and she wouldn’t have you.

“I wanted to hate you when she was kidnapped. I just needed someone to blame, like I’d blamed Blake for all that happened last year. But I know I can’t, I know you did everything you could to find her. When Mason, Candice, and I all talked last year while the two of you were separated, I found out a lot about how you blamed yourself; and I can only imagine you did the same this time. Despite the reasoning for their taking her, it wasn’t your fault, and I hope you know that. I want to say I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and above all, I want to thank you for bringing her back.”

“I, uh, well I’m glad to know you don’t blame me or hate me, but you don’t have to thank me. You know I would do anything for her.”

He took a long drink from his beer and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I do kind of hate you. You’ve taken one of my sisters away from us and all the way across the United States . . . but there is no other guy I would trust with her life, and with her heart.”

Before I could respond, I felt, before I heard, Mason coming up behind me. “Mason . . .”

Eli eyed me, clearly confused, and his eyes widened when he must have finally seen Mason.

“Years of undercover work together,” I answered Eli’s unspoken question. “We couldn’t sneak up on each other if we tried.”

“Ahh . . . him I don’t like.”

“What the hell did I do?” Mason asked as he joined us.

Eli looked up at him, and even though he was a good head shorter than Mason, I fully understood why Mason looked like he wanted to go hide again.

“Stay away from my sister,” Eli said in clear warning before walking toward the house.

“Is he for real?” Mason asked.

I just shrugged and drained my beer. “You should totally sleep with one eye open tonight.”

“Son of a bitch,” Mason groaned and followed me back into the house.

23

Rachel

I TOOK DEEP BREATHS IN AND OUT as I studied myself in the mirror. I wasn’t nervous about the lifelong commitment I was about to make. I wasn’t worried that Kash was getting cold feet. I just felt like I was going to hurl.

The parents had already come in and given hugs before going to take their seats, and Candice and Maddie were behind me in light gray dresses, talking animatedly as they checked each other’s hair. We’d spent the morning relaxing at Maddie’s apartment and watching movies as Mason’s mom did our hair. Then we’d run over to the hotel where Kash and I were going to be staying the next three nights, and checked in before leaving our bags in the room, so he and I could go straight there after the reception without having to worry about anything.

The day had been nice, and easy, and just what I’d needed. But right now, I needed a bathroom. I needed a toilet, and I needed the girls to leave the room.

“Easy,” a deep voice commanded when I turned to find the bathroom. Eli’s hands gripped my wrists, and his thumbs pushed into the pulse point on each one. “Breathe in and out.”

I let the intensity that always seemed to roll off Eli pour over me, and surprisingly, the whole thumbs-on-the-inside-of-my-wrists was really helping.

“Good girl, keep breathing. Deep breaths,” he said, and suddenly he was at my ear. “You okay, sis?”

“I’m good, just got a little light-headed there for a minute.”

“You sure you weren’t about to take off out of here? You need to get away, just tell me. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

I laughed shakily as more of the nausea left me. “No, nothing like that, Eli. I’m ready for this . . . so ready. I really just felt sick for a second.”

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, much better. Thank you.”

He kissed my forehead and stepped back. “Let me see if I can go find a Sprite or something around here. But you should get dressed soon. It’s supposed to start in ten minutes. Unless, you know, you need to run.”

“Eli, no.” I pushed him back and smiled at him. “I would love the drink, but not an escape.”

“All right, I’m just making sure.” He winked and slipped out the door.

He was back in no time, and I sipped at the carbonated drink slowly to help with the last of my uneasy stomach. As I did that, I stepped out of the loose clothes I’d been wearing, and Candice and Maddie helped me get ready.

I loved the lingerie we’d found a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t wait to see Kash’s reaction to it. I just didn’t know if I was going to last in the white corset that was covered in lace if my nausea came back. We’d just gotten on my favorite part of the lingerie when there was a knock at the door.

“Is Rachel decent?”

“No!” we all shouted back at Eli.

“Okay, then someone catch this, I’m not going to look where I throw.”

“Wait! What are you throwing?” Maddie shrieked and turned toward the door just in time to catch the package sailing through the air.