I was dumbfounded by the change in his manner. Gone was his pride, his haughtiness and his arrogance. To my astonishment he was speaking to me in the most affable manner; indeed, it seemed as though he were putting himself out to please me, and to set me at my ease.
Presently he fell silent and then, after standing a few moments without saying a word, he took his leave. My aunt and uncle joined me, but I was so overcome by my own feelings that I did not hear a word they said. I was overcome with shame and vexation, certain that he would think I had deliberately thrown myself in his way again.
And yet he had not met me with derision or disgust. He had met me with great civility. I could not make him out.
We walked on round the lake, but yet my thoughts were all fixed on the one spot of Pemberley House where Mr Darcy might be. I longed to know what was passing in his mind, and whether, in defiance of everything, he still held me dear.
It seemed that he must, for he soon joined us again and spoke to my aunt and uncle in the most affable manner. He even invited my uncle to go fishing with him! And, what is more, he asked if he might be allowed to introduce his sister to me.
My aunt and uncle were curious at the sight of so much attention, but I did not feel I could enlighten them. I scarcely knew what his attentions meant myself.
The next day, he brought his sister to see me at the inn where we were staying, and she is the sweetest, most charming girl imaginable—not at all the proud young woman Mr Wickham described.
He brought someone else, too: Mr Bingley. And oh, Susan! Say nothing of this to anyone, in case I am mistaken, but I believe he still has feelings for Jane. In fact, if Mr Darcy gives his approval, I believe Mr Bingley will return to Netherfield and seek Jane out again.
But will Mr Darcy give his approval? I thought so, because he was very changed, and spoke well of her and did not discourage Mr Bingley from speaking of her.
Things were going very well…he was attentive, charming, generous, kind…and then Lydia ran away with Wickham! Even worse, I told him! I could not help it. The letter arrived just before Mr Darcy entered the room and I was so horrified that I could not conceal my distress. For Lydia’s elopement to happen at such a moment, when I had just acknowledged to myself that Mr Darcy was the one man in the world I could be prevailed upon to marry, was cruel indeed.
I had thought it was all over; that I had no chance with him; that, having offered me his hand once he would not do so again. But then the meeting at Pemberley and his evident efforts to please aroused hope in my breast and made me hope that things had changed…
But now those hopes are broken before they were ever fully formed. To marry me? When Lydia has disgraced herself and the rest of the family, thereby justifying everything he said to me about my family: my sisters’ behaviour and my father’s lack of any kind of control? No, it is impossible. And even more impossible, because if he married me, he would be related to Wickham, his worst enemy. It is unthinkable.
And yet I do think of it, Susan, all the time. I remember every word spoken between us. I remember his looks, his expression, his voice, the touch of his hand.
I cannot forget.
But I must.
I must.
But I have been writing only of myself. What of you? Tell me of more pleasant things. Give me all your news. Distract my thoughts. Make me forget about Mr Darcy, and make me cease to regret everything I have lost, for it is a comfort to me, at least, that you, dear Susan, are happy.
Lizzy
Miss Susan Sotherton to Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Bath, August 24
My poor Lizzy,
How I feel for you. I wish that everyone could be as happy as I. Only a few more days and I marry my dear Wainwright, and I wish with all my heart that you could marry your Mr Darcy. I have never heard you talk about a man in this way before, and you are too sensible to think such things about a man unless they are true. I believe you are in love with him and I will hope for some miracle which might yet unite you.
You are right when you say that I had already heard about Lydia’s escapade from Charlotte, but do not judge her too harshly. She did not tell Mr Collins deliberately, rather she was reading a letter from her mama when Mr Collins was in the room and could not help exclaiming over the news, and then she could not keep it from him. I am sure she would have kept your confidence otherwise.
And now I must go, there is time for no more; Mama is calling me and I must see to the final preparations for my wedding. I will write to you again as soon as I can, but I must now sign myself for the last time,
Susan Sotherton
SEPTEMBER
Colonel Fitzwilliam to Mr Darcy
Fitzwilliam House, London,
September 2
Darcy, you must be relieved that Wickham is safely married and the whole business is over with. What are your intentions now? Are you planning to visit Hertfordshire? You mentioned something about revealing the truth to Bingley; that you suspect Miss Bennet has feelings for him, but what of your own feelings? Are you going to speak to Miss Elizabeth?
I think she would make a worthy mistress of Pemberley.
Henry
Miss Caroline Bingley to Mrs Bingley
Pemberley, Derbyshire,
September 3
Greetings and felicitations, dearest Mama!
It is raining today and I am full of ennui. Mr Darcy left us a few days ago to attend to business in London. I cannot think what he finds to do in London at this time of year. However, he insisted he must go and that no one could conduct the business for him.
Louisa and I are entertaining Georgiana, but it is not the same without Mr Darcy here. He graces everything with his presence, and notices every time I give his sister a kind word. He should, however, return to Pemberley later today.
I hope his business prospered, for he was not in the best of tempers when he left. I do not believe he was looking forward to it, whatever it was. No doubt it is something to do with the war; it unsettles everything, but Mr Darcy’s fortune is large enough to withstand even these turbulent times.
I had hoped to see Colonel Fitzwilliam here, but he has returned to his regiment. There are plenty of other gentlemen, however, even if none of them are as handsome as Mr Darcy, but I have not despaired of fixing him, though Miss Bennet’s eyes are so fine.
She was here several weeks ago and had the impertinence to visit Pemberley. The housekeeper had no choice but to show her round, and poor Mr Darcy was quite taken in by her, believing her story of being in the neighbourhood with her aunt and uncle, who wanted to see the house. A likely tale! But luckily Mr Darcy had to leave on business shortly after her arrival, whereupon she and her relatives hastily decamped, their supposed tour of Derbyshire entirely forgotten. What simpletons she must think us!
But I hear the carriage! Mr Darcy has returned. I must go!
Your dutiful daughter,
Caroline
Miss Mary Bennet to Miss Lucy Sotherton
Longbourn, Hertfordshire,
September 5
Most noble Friend,
My sister has had the benefit of clergy and is now Mrs Wickham. She arrived here at Longbourn in high spirits, not at all abashed as she should have been by her disgrace. I am very disappointed in Papa. When Lydia arrived, he had an opportunity to tell her how grievously she had sinned, and to extol her to be a better woman in the future, instead of which he laughed at her iniquities and those of her husband.
It emerged that Mr Darcy had been at her wedding, indeed, he seems to have arranged it. That was very wrong of him. He should have roundly condemned Lydia, as Mr Collins did. I think that Mr Collins would have made me a better husband, after all. Mr Shackleton agrees with me. He said that wealthy gentlemen never make good husbands and that the best husbands are often clerks. I was surprised at this, but he assured me that he had read it somewhere and he has promised to find the passage so that I might make an extract of it.
Your devoted sister in morality,
Mary
Miss Elizabeth Bennet to Mrs Gardiner
Longbourn, Hertfordshire,
September 5
My dear aunt,
I cannot contain myself, I must beg your indulgence and hope you will put me out of my misery. Lydia let slip that Mr Darcy had been at her wedding and that she had been sworn to silence on the subject.
You may readily comprehend what my curiosity must be to know how a person so unconnected with any of us, and (comparatively speaking) a stranger to our family, should have been amongst you at such a time. Pray write instantly, and let me understand it—unless it is, for very cogent reasons, to remain in the secrecy which Lydia seems to think necessary; and then I must endeavour to be satisfied with ignorance.
Your loving niece,
Lizzy
Mrs Gardiner to Miss Elizabeth Bennet
Gracechurch Street, London,
September 6
My dear Niece,
I have just received your letter, and shall devote this whole morning to answering it, as I foresee that a little writing will not comprise what I have to tell you. I must confess myself surprised by your application; I did not expect it from you. Don’t think me angry, however, for I only mean to let you know that I had not imagined such enquiries to be necessary on your side. If you do not choose to understand me, forgive my impertinence. Your uncle is as much surprised as I am—and nothing but the belief of your being a party concerned would have allowed him to act as he has done. But if you are really innocent and ignorant, I must be more explicit.
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