Виктория Холт - Daughter of Deceit

I approached the bed. I knew she was trying to make a barrier between us, struggling to return to that haughty arrogance which had been her shield.

“How are you, Noelle?” she said coolly.

“I am well enough, thank you. And you, Lady Constance?”

“Rather shaken still, and my ankle is painful. Otherwise, apart from feeling tired, I am all right.”

Her eyes held mine for a moment. I guessed she was remembering and regretting those confidences. Was she debating whether they could be set aside, forgotten? No. That could hardly be. Could they be put down to the somewhat hysterical ramblings of someone who was face to face with possible death? She was a proud woman and, now that she had returned to the safety of everyday life, she would be remembering, and resenting afresh, the indignities and humiliation she had suffered through her husband’s infatuation for another woman.

“It was a terrible ordeal we suffered,” she began, paused, and then added: “Together.”

“It was a comfort to have someone to share it with,” I said.

“A comfort indeed.”

I saw the tears on her cheeks then, and I knew that the battle with herself was nearly over. Boldly I went closer to the bed and I took both her hands.

“It was indeed a terrible ordeal,” I repeated, “and yet I cannot be entirely sorry that it happened.”

She was silent.

I went on: “To talk together … to understand …”

“I know,” she said with emotion. “I know …”

I realized then that it was for me to take the initiative. Her pride was holding her back.

“I hope,” I said, “that, now we have found friendship, we are not going to lose it.”

She gripped my hand and replied quietly: “I hope that, too.”

The barriers were down. It was as though we were back together in that dark and dismal hole.

She took a handkerchief from under her pillow and wiped her eyes. “I am being foolish,” she said.

“Oh no … no.”

“Yes, my dear Noelle. We shall always remember what we went through together, but, as you say, there is some good in everything. And it has made us friends.”

“I was afraid it was just for then. I was afraid it would not last.”

“It became too firm for that … even in that short time. But it was not exactly so sudden. I have always admired you … just as I did … her.”

“We shall start from now,” I said. “The rest is in the past. It is the present which is important. I feel happier and hopeful now.”

She did not ask for explanations, and I think because she was afraid of showing more emotion, she said: “You have heard that that madwoman removed the warning sign.”

“Yes.”

“They have put her away. It was she who set fire to the cottage. What a danger she was!”

“Yes,” I replied. “It was fortunate that Kitty, the maid, saw what she had done.”

“The poor child is a little retarded.”

“But sufficiently aware to tell Gertie what she had seen.”

“She can’t go back, of course. We shall keep her here. I wonder what Fiona Vance will do now.”

“It will be a relief to her, I expect, to know that her grandmother is being cared for. I fancy she was something of a trial to her and must have been for some time. She never mentioned it or complained.”

“I daresay something will be arranged.”

We were silent for a few seconds, then Lady Constance said: “My husband will be home soon, I daresay.”

I made a hasty decision.

“Lady Constance,” I said, “there is something I want to say to you. I don’t know how you will take this. If I don’t tell you now, Roderick will soon. But if it is going to upset you …”

“I think I know what it is,” she said. “Roderick wants to marry you. That is it, is it not?”

I nodded.

“And,” she went on, “you want to marry him. I have seen it coming.”

“And you, Lady Constance?”

She lifted her shoulders, and I went on: “I know you expected your son to marry someone very different from me. I know you wanted the highest in the land for him …”

She did not reply for some moments. When she spoke, it was almost as though she were talking to herself.

“I am not a very happy woman. For years I have brooded. All those years my husband was with her. She was everything that I was not, the sort of person a man can be at peace with … happy with … the sort who doesn’t make demands. I realize now that was something I was doing constantly … trying to make people what they were not … to fit in with what I wanted them to be. I sought the wrong things in life. When we were in that dark hole, I saw things which I had never seen before. It was as though a light had been thrown on the past, and I began to ask myself how much of what had happened had been due to myself. If I had been different … loving … lighthearted … not setting such store by material things … perhaps it would have been different. I saw clearly your care for Gertie … your love for your mother. I began to see that I had made misjudgements, set too much store on the less important aspects of life. I saw how foolish I had been to dislike you because you were your mother’s daughter … because you had not such a grand pedigree as I have. Noelle, I shall be grateful to you always. I shall be happy to continue our friendship through our lives, and I hope you will never go away from this house.”

I could not stop myself. I put my arms round her and, for a few moments, we clung together.

I said: “I am so happy. I have never felt such happiness since I lost my mother.”

Roderick and I were in a state of bliss. It was so wonderful to bask in the approval of Lady Constance. In spite of her exhaustion—which was great—she looked younger and took a great interest in our plans. I had never seen her so animated before. The change had been so sudden and there were times when I expected her to revert to the old Lady Constance, when I would see a trace of that icy aloof manner towards the servants, but even with them her manner had softened.

I was sure they were aware of it.

She was always warm and friendly towards me. Sometimes it was hard to believe that the change would last, but I was beginning to accept it and I was sure she herself only had to look back to that time we had spent together, so highly charged with emotion … to realize how happy she could be in her newfound understanding of others … and herself.

I went over to see Fiona, taking a different route because the path was now fenced off and men were working on it.

Fiona greeted me warmly.

“My dear Noelle, what a dreadful thing! I am so relieved and delighted that you are all right. I blame myself in a way. I knew she was getting more and more strange. I didn’t want people to know. I thought I could manage her.”

“You must not talk like that. Of course you did your best. I had no idea that she was so ill.”

“She was the victim of obsessions. I should have been more alert. It did not occur to me that it was she who had set fire to the cottage, though I had had hints …”

“Whatever made her do it?”

“Let’s have a cup of coffee. Then we can talk.”

“I’d enjoy that.”

She went into the little kitchen.

“How are you getting on with the repairs upstairs?” I called.

“It’s coming back to normal. It is good to see you here. Thank goodness Kitty saw what she did.”

“Gertie’s a kind girl. It was so good of her to befriend Kitty in the first place.”

“I am glad Kitty is up at Leverson. It’s better for her there. You see, she had some notion that my grandmother had saved her. After all, she did take her in when the poor girl must have been rather desperate. Kitty felt she had to serve her without question. It will be healthier for her up at the Manor.”

“And Gertie will keep an eye on her.”

She came in with the coffee.

“Now,” she said, “we can talk. Yes, my grandmother wanted me to marry Roderick. That was at the root of the trouble.”

“Oh,” I said.

She smiled. “I heard,” she went on, “about you two. Congratulations! I saw it coming, of course, but the marvellous thing is that Lady Constance is pleased about it.”

“How news travels!”

“I was saying my grandmother had obsessions and this was one of them. She thought if she made the cottage uninhabitable, I should have to go to work in a room in the Manor, which would bring me into closer contact with Roderick. Hence the fire. Then she saw an obstacle in you. She quite rightly saw how things were between you and Roderick.”

“How did she know that?”

Fiona looked at me with an indulgent smile. “It was rather obvious, you know.”

“She saw us so rarely together.”

“Once was enough. And she wanted to remove you from the scene.”

“She did warn me that danger was threatening me here.”

“Yes, she wanted you to go away.”

“I see now.”

“And then, when you wouldn’t, she looked for opportunities.”

“She was taking a chance. Someone else could have fallen into the trap … and Lady Constance did before me.”

“She was not really thinking as normal people think. She was ready to take the chance to remove you … and, you see … from her point of view … it worked.”

“Her mind must be very distorted.”

“Poor Granny. She became very strange once before. That was after the death of my mother. She had a stay in hospital then … but she recovered and I went to her, and caring for me seemed to help her. Of course, she always believed in her special powers and such things, but that did not intrude too much on normal life at that time. She gave me the utmost care. It was when I was growing up and became interested in archaeology that it started up again. She was obsessed by my future. She wanted a grand marriage for me and Roderick was the one she chose. She had discovered that I was corresponding with a student whom I met when I was with Sir Harry Harcourt. He’s studying archaeology. We got to know each other and have kept in touch. It’s a … very firm friendship.”