And now he was offering to do so again.
Only what could he do? Nothing. Worse than nothing, he could actually get hurt. I mean, look at what had happened to Dopey that morning. Did I want to see Doc with a faceful of bugs? No way.
"No," I said, quickly. "No, Doc - I mean, David. That isn't necessary. You stay where you are. Things are fine here. Really."
Doc sounded disappointed. "Suze, things are not fine. Do you want to talk about it, at least?"
Oh, yeah. I want to discuss my love life - or lack thereof - with my twelve-year-old stepbrother.
"Not really," I said.
"Look, Suze," Doc said. "I know it had to be upsetting. I mean, seeing his skeleton like that. But you've got to remember that our bodies are simply the vessel - and a very crude one, at that - in which our souls are carried while we're alive on earth. Jesse's body . . . well, it doesn't have anything to do with him anymore."
Easy for him to say, I thought miserably. He'd never gotten a look at Jesse's abs.
Not that, if he had, they would have interested Doc much, of course.
"Really," Doc went on, "if you think about it, that's probably not the only body Jesse's going to have. According to the Hindus, we shed our outer shells - our bodies - several times. In fact, we keep doing so, depending on our karma, until we finally get it right, thus achieving liberation from the cycle of rebirth."
"Oh?" I stared at the canopy over my bed. I really could not believe I was having this conversation. And with a twelve-year-old. "Do we?"
"Sure. Most of us, anyway. I mean, unless we get it right the first time. But that hardly ever happens. See, what's going on with Jesse is that his karma is all messed up, and he got bumped off the path to nirvana. He just needs to find his way back into the body he's supposed to get after, you know, his last one, and then he'll be fine."
"David," I said. "Are you sure you're at computer camp? Because it sounds to me like maybe Mom and Andy dropped you off at yoga camp by mistake."
"Suze," Doc said with a sigh. "Look. All I'm saying is, that skeleton you saw, it wasn't Jesse, all right? It has nothing to do with him anymore. So don't let it upset you. Okay?"
I decided it was high time to change the subject.
"So," I said. "Any cute girls at that camp?"
"Suze," he said severely. "Don't - "
"I knew it," I said. "What's her name?"
"Shut up," Doc said. "Look, I gotta go. But remember what I said, will you? I'll be home Sunday, so we can talk more then."
"Fine," I said. "See you then."
"See you. And Suze?"
"Yeah, Doc - I mean, David?"
"Be careful, okay? That Diego - the guy from that book, who supposedly killed Jesse? - he seemed kind of ... mean. You might want to watch your back or ... well, whatever."
Whatever was right.
But I didn't say so to Doc. Instead, I said goodbye. What else could I say? Felix Diego isn't the half of it, sonny? I was too upset even to entertain the idea that I might possibly have a second hostile spirit to deal with.
But I didn't even know what upset was until Spike came scrambling through my open window, looked around expectantly, and meowed....
And Jesse didn't show up.
Not even after I called out his name.
They don't, as a rule. Ghosts, I mean. Come when you call them.
But for the most part, Jesse does. Although lately he's been showing up before I even had a chance to call him, when I've only thought about calling him. Then wham, next thing I knew, there he was.
Except not this time.
Nothing. Not a flicker.
Well, I said to myself as I fed Spike his can of food and tried to remain calm. That's okay. I mean, it doesn't mean anything. Maybe he's busy. I mean, that was his skeleton down there. Maybe he's following it to wherever they're taking it. To the morgue or whatever. It's probably very traumatic, watching people dig up your body. Jesse didn't know anything about Hinduism and karma. At least, that I knew of. To him, his body had probably been a lot more than just a vessel for his soul.
That's where he was. The morgue. Watching what they did with his remains.
But when the hours passed, and it got dark out, and Spike, who usually goes out prowling at night for small vermin and any Chihuahuas he can find, actually climbed onto my bed, where I sat leafing sightlessly through magazines, and butted his head against my hand....
Well, that's when I knew.
That's when I knew something was really, really wrong. Because that cat hates my guts, even though I'm the one who feeds him. If he's climbing up onto my bed and butting his head against my hand, well, I'm sorry, that means the universe as I know it is crumbling.
Because Jesse isn't coming back.
Except, I kept telling myself as my panic mounted, he promised. He swore.
But as the minutes ticked past and there was still no sign of him, I knew. I just knew. He was gone. They'd found his body, and that meant he was no longer missing, and that meant there was no need for him to hang around my room. Not anymore, just like I'd tried to explain to him last night.
Only he had sounded so sure ... so sure that that wasn't it. He had laughed. He had laughed when I first said it, like it was ridiculous.
But then where was he? If he wasn't gone - to heaven, or to his next life (not to hell; there's no place, I'm sure, for Jesse in hell, if there is a hell) - then where was he?
I tried calling my dad. Not on the phone or anything, because of course my dad can't be reached that way, being dead. I tried calling to him wherever he was, out there on the astral plane.
Only of course he didn't come, either. But then, he never does. Well, sometimes he does. But rarely, and not this time.
I just want you to know that I don't normally freak out like this. I mean, normally, I am very much a woman of action. Something happens and, well, I go kick some butts. That's how it usually works.
But this ...
For some reason, I couldn't think straight. I really couldn't. I was just sitting there in my hunter green lounging pajamas, going, What should I do? What should I do?
Seriously. It was not good.
Which was why I did what I did next. If I couldn't figure out what to do myself, well, I needed someone to tell me what to do. And I knew just the someone who could.
I had to talk quietly because of course by that time it was past eleven, and everyone in the house but me was asleep.
"Is Father Dominic there?" I asked.
The person on the other end of the phone - an older man, from the sound of it - went, "What's that, honey? I can barely hear you."
"Father Dominic," I said, speaking as loudly as I dared. "Please, I need to speak to Father Dominic right away. Is he there?"
"Sure, honey," the man on the phone said. Then I heard him yell, "Dom! Hey, Dom! Phone for you!"
Dom? How dare that man call Father Dominic Dom? Talk about disrespectful.
But all my indignation melted when I heard Father Dominic's soft, deep voice. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him, not seeing him every day over the summer like I do during the school year. "Hello?"
"Father Dom," I said. No, I didn't say it. I'll admit it: I wept it. I was a basket case.
"Susannah?" Father Dominic sounded shocked. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you all right?"
"Yes," I said. All right, not said: sobbed. "It's not me. It's J-Jesse."
"Jesse?" Father Dom's voice took on the note it always did when the subject of Jesse came up. It'd taken him awhile to warm up to Jesse. I guess I could see why. Father D is not only a priest, he's also the principal of a Catholic school. He's not supposed to approve of stuff like girls and guys sharing a bedroom . . . even if the guy is, you know, dead.
And I could understand it, because it's different with mediators than it is with everyone else. Everyone else just walks through ghosts. They do it all the time, and they don't even know it. Oh, maybe they feel a cold spot, or they think they've glimpsed something out of the corner of their eye, but when they turn around, no one is there.
It's different for mediators. For us, ghosts are made up of matter, not shrouds of mist. I can't put my hand through Jesse, though anyone else could. Well, anyone else but Jack and Father Dom.
So it's understandable why Father Dom's never been too wild about Jesse, even though the guy's saved my life more times than I can count. Because whatever else he is, Jesse's still a guy, and he's living in my bedroom, and . . . well, you get the picture.
Not, of course, that there'd been anything going on - much to my chagrin.
The thing was, now there never would be. I mean, now I'd never even know if something could have happened. Because he's gone.
I didn't mention any of this to Father Dom, of course. I just told him what had happened, about Maria and the knife and the bugs, and about Clive Clemmings being dead and the missing portrait, and how they'd found Jesse's body and now he was gone.
"And he promised me," I finished, somewhat incoherently, because I was crying so hard. "He swore that wasn't it, that that wasn't what was holding him here. But now he's gone, and - "
Father Dominic's voice was soothing and controlled in comparison to my hiccupy ramblings.
"All right, Susannah," he said. "I understand. I understand. Obviously there are forces at work here that are beyond Jesse's control and, well, beyond yours, too, I might add. I'm glad you called me. You were right to call me. Listen, now, and do exactly as I say."
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