A good friend of hers won on a rival show, and she was thrilled for him. And then the big moment came. At last it was her turn. And she could hardly bear it. All her life she had told herself that fame wasn't important, and yet it was. She had worked so hard for this, and whether she won or not, in her heart of hearts, she knew she had earned it.

The cameras zoomed in on her again and again, as she held Ollie's hand, and he silently prayed for her. For her sake, he wanted her to win. The other actresses' names were called too, and then a long, long pause, while someone asked for “The envelope please,” and then like a bolt of lightning through his heart he heard her name, and she stared at him, and she put a hand over her mouth, unable to believe she'd actually won this time. And he gently prodded her to her feet, and she was suddenly hurrying down the aisle toward the stage, with her flaming hair softly pulled up in curls, and the beautiful black beaded dress molding her incredible figure. “I don't believe it!” she had said before she left her seat, and she looked shaken and smiling as she addressed her colleagues and her friends at the microphone, clutching the Emmy.

“I … I don't know what to say,” she laughed, “I don't have anything prepared because I never thought I'd win … I want to thank the producers and the directors and the writers and the actors and the cameramen, and all of the magical people who made this possible … my acting coach, John Drum, for being crazy enough to get me the job … my agent for talking me into it … Annie, you were right! … and most important of all,” she looked straight at him, “my family … my soon-to-be husband, Oliver, who puts up with me so lovingly … and our children, Benjamin and Melissa and Sam.” There were tears in her eyes then, and in Ollie's, too. Sam was too stunned to move as he watched at home. “I love you all, and I hope I can do an even better job next year.” She took the Emmy then, waved to colleagues and fans, and left the stage to hurry back to her seat. The fanfare started then, the show was over, but the press almost crushed her in her seat, as Oliver shielded her, and kissed her, and she kissed him and Benjamin and Mel, and pressed their hands. It was a wild, exciting night, and they took the children home, and opened a bottle of champagne with them, and Aggie and Sam, before she and Ollie went back to the parties where they would celebrate all night. It was an evening she would never forget. She had really made it.

The phone rang before they left, it was Margaret and his father calling to congratulate Charlotte. And Aggie was still crying tears of joy when Charlie called her own folks in Nebraska, and they were crying too. It was a magical night, and she still couldn't believe she'd won as Benjamin toasted her, and they all talked and laughed and grinned and watched a rerun of it on the news before leaving for their round of parties.

“I never thought I'd win,” she said to Ollie again and again as they drove from Bel Air back to Beverly Hills.

“I knew you would!” He was so proud of her, and it was extraordinary to be a part of it with her. It was 4:00 A.M. when they finally got home, and she collapsed in her own bed, with Ollie lying next to her. The Emmy was staring at them from her dressing table across the room, and she couldn't help grinning as they watched it.

“He's pretty cute,” Oliver smiled, too tired even to loosen his tie.

“Not as cute as you,” she rolled over and smiled in the exquisite dress. “You look a lot better to me.” She was a little drunk, and a lot overwhelmed by all that had happened.

“You're crazy, do you know that? You're the biggest star in Hollywood, and what are you doing with me?”

“Loving you. Let's get pregnant tonight.”

“Behave yourself. You're about to become the mother of three kids.” Three kids who were incredibly proud of her, just as their father was. “And a grand- son!” They both laughed at the thought of her becoming a grandmother.

And she just beamed. It had been an unforgettable night. For all of them.

He kissed her then, and five minutes later, she was asleep in his arms, still dressed, with the Emmy staring at them in all its glory. She looked like a child as he gazed down at her, unable to believe that this remarkable woman was almost his. He left her at six o'clock in the morning to get ready to go to work. The kids were still asleep when he got home, and there was an aura of unreality about the night before. But it had happened. It was true. She had won the award, and in three months she would be his wife. It was incredible to think about. And he could hardly wait. Three months seemed much too long now … he smiled to himself in the shower … three months … and then he and Charlie would be married.





Chapter 28


The next week was wild, with press following her everywhere. She got a huge bonus from the show, and they upped her contract for the following year. But she got dozens of other offers too, for specials and mini-series, and movies made for TV, three feature films, and then the offer she had waited a lifetime for. Her agent called her at the studio, and she didn't know what to say to her. She wanted to do it more than anything, but she said she had to talk it over with Oliver. He had a right to a voice in the decision too. It was an important decision for her, and it meant a lot of things. Like begging her way out of her contract on the show that had brought her the Emmy. Or even breaking the contract, if she had to.

She looked nervous when he picked her up that night after work, and they were going to have a quiet evening at her place to discuss their wedding trip. He was pushing hard for Bora Bora. But before he even brought the brochures out, he knew that something had happened.

“Charlie, what's wrong?” He had good instincts for her now, and it was unusual for her to be so tense with him. But she didn't waste any time telling him. She'd been offered a Broadway play, a serious one, the kind she had always wanted to do, and it was an opportunity that might never come again. And they were going into rehearsal in December. It would mean going to New York for at least a year, more if it had a long run, maybe even at least two.

He sat looking at her, stunned, not believing his ears, or the look on her face. She was clearly torn. And he felt as though his heart would break. “What about the show?” What about me, he wanted to scream.

“I'd have to get out of my contract. My agent thinks that if we do it right, they might let me.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don't know. It always has been. For me, Broadway has always been the pinnacle, the ultimate, the epitome of serious acting.”

She was honest with him, she always had been. “I'm telling you exactly what I know. I haven't made my mind up yet. I told my agent I had to talk to you first. But … Ollie … I've always wanted to do a Broadway play, especially one like this.”

“What does that mean for us? And what am I supposed to do for two years? Sit out here? I can't leave the office here, I've only been here for a year, and this is an important spot for me, probably for a very long time, if not for good. My kids are all in schools. I can't walk out on them, or uproot them again. They've been through that twice already in a year. I can't do it, Charlie. I can't drop everything and go, no matter how much I'd love to see you do what you want.” He had to think of his career and his family too. But she looked agonized. She didn't want to give it up, even for him, and it showed.

“I could commute.” But he looked as though he'd been electrified as she said the words, and he leapt to his feet and started to pace the room in silence.

“Don't give me that, Charlie,” he finally said. “I've been through that once with a woman I loved. She didn't even start to try to commute. But even if you do, how long do you think it would last? Flying 'redeyes' from here to there, spending a day together once a week. It's ridiculous, it wouldn't work. We haven't even built our relationship yet, and you want to put it under that kind of strain? I'd rather call it quits now. It would be a lot less painful for both of us, than waiting to do it a year from now. Forget it. I don't want to hear about 'commute.'” He tried to calm down then, and think of her. “Look, Charlie, you have to do what's right for you.” He loved her enough to let her do that, no matter what it did to him. He knew he had no right to stand in her way, and if he did, they'd lose in the end anyway. He had learned that lesson the hard way too. “Think about it, do what you want.” He closed his eyes for a brief instant of crushing pain, but he had lived through pain before, and loss, and despair. He'd survive it again. And he was willing to, for her. “I think you probably should do it. You'd always regret it if you turned it down, and we'd pay the price for it anyway. Go for it, baby … go for the brass ring. You have a right to it. You're at the top of your career now. These opportunities will never come again. But don't expect me to commute … or believe we can have everything. We can't. Sometimes you have to make choices in life. Just make the right one for you. That's all I want for you.” There were tears in his eyes then, and he turned away so she wouldn't see them.

“Are you telling me it would be all over for us if I go?” She looked stunned, and heartbroken too.

“I am. But not because I want to force your hand, or make you stay here for me. I'm just telling you I've been through something like this once, and I can't do it again. It doesn't work. We'll lose in the end anyway. And I can't go through that again. I'd rather wish you well, and kiss you good-bye with tears in my heart. But better now, than in a year or two, maybe even with a kid. And I don't think my kids could go through the loss again in any case. And I have to think of them too. I love you, Charlie. I love you enough to let you do whatever you want to. I'm going home now. You think it out. And call me when it's over. I'll understand … honest, I will.” His eyes were damp and she was crying. She couldn't believe what he'd said, and yet she understood it. “Just don't let me read about it in the papers first.” And then without looking back, he left and drove home to his own place.