“What do you want him to do? Kill the girl?”

“Don't be an ass, for chrissake,” he couldn't believe what he was hearing from her, “she should get rid of it, or at least put the baby up for adoption. And Benjamin should come to his senses.”

“This doesn't sound like the Oliver I know … since when did you become such a champion for abortion?”

“Since my seventeen-year-old son knocked up his seventeen-year-old girlfriend, and proposed to ruin both their lives by being noble.”

“You have no right to interfere with what he thinks is right.”

“I can't believe I'm hearing this from you What's happening to you? Don't you care about his education? Don't you realize that he wants to give up school now, drop out of high school, and completely forget college?”

“He'll come around. Wait until the kid starts screaming day and night, like he did. He'll be begging you to help him escape, but in the meantime he has to do what he thinks is right.”

“I think you're as crazy as he is. It must be genetic. And is that the kind of advice you're giving him?”

“I told him to do whatever he believed in.”

“That's nonsense.”

“What are you telling him to do?”

“To pull up his socks, drag up his grades, get his ass back in school, and let the girl go to a home for unwed mothers, and have the baby put up for adoption.”

“It's certainly nice and tidy anyway. Too bad he doesn't agree with you.”

“He doesn't have to agree with me, Sarah. He's a minor. He has to do what we tell him to do.”

“Not if he tells you to go to hell, which he will if you push him too hard.”

“Just like you did?” He was furious with her, she was playing with Benjamin's life with her goddamn liberal ideas.

“We're not talking about us, we're talking about him.”

“We're talking about one of our kids ruining his life, and you're talking garbage.”

“Face reality, Oliver, it's his kid, his life, and he's going to do exactly what he wants to do, whether you like it or not, so don't give yourself ulcers over it.” It was hopeless talking to her, and eventually he hung up, even more frustrated than before.

And on Saturday morning, Benjamin came to his father as the moving van appeared in the driveway. They were sending small things to New York, some linens, and the clothes they needed.

“Ready to go, Son?” Oliver tried to sound cheerful, and as though nothing were wrong, as though that might make a difference and convince him. But Benjamin looked quiet and determined.

“I came to say good-bye to you, Dad.” There was an endless silence between them.

“You have to come with us, Son. For your own sake. And maybe even for Sandra's.”

“I'm not going. I'm staying here. I've made my decision. I'm dropping out of school right now. I've got a job in a restaurant, and I can stay at Sandra's apartment with her.” In a way, Oliver had forced his hand with the move to New York, and he was almost sorry.

“And if I let you stay in the house? Will you go back to school?”

“I'm sick of school. I want to take care of Sandra.”

“Benjamin, please … you can take better care of her if you get an education.”

“I can always go back to school later.”

“Does the school know about this yet?” Benjamin dashed the last of his father's hopes as he nodded.

“I told them yesterday afternoon.”

“What did they say?”

“They wished us luck. Sandra had already told her homeroom teacher about the baby.”

“I can't believe you're doing this.”

“I want to be with her … and my kid … Dad, you would have done the same thing.”

“Possibly, but not in the same way. You're doing the right thing, but in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons.”

“I'm doing the best I can.”

“I know you are. What if you take a high school equivalency test, take some time off now and go to college in the fall. That's still a possibility, you know.”

“Yes, but it's not what I want anymore, Dad. I want to be out in the real world. I've got real responsibilities of my own, and a woman I love … and a baby in September.” It was ridiculous thinking about it, and yet it was real. Oliver wanted to cry standing on his front lawn, watching the moving men carrying boxes in and out of the house, under Aggie's directions. It was all crazy. In four months, Sarah had destroyed their lives, and now none of it would ever be the same.

He suddenly wondered why the hell he was moving to New York, if Benjamin wasn't even coming. And yet, there were things he liked about the idea, like being able to get home earlier at night, and spending more time with Mel and Sam. Mel had calmed down in the last week, knowing that the move was only for two months for now, and on a trial basis, and they would come back to Purchase for weekends, and for the whole summer. And what made it even more interesting was that all of her friends were impressed and were dying to come and see her in the city. “Dad, I've got to go. I start work at two o'clock, and Sandra's waiting for me at the apartment”

“Will you call me?”

“Sure. Come and see us when you're in town.”

“I love you, Benjamin. I really, really love you,” He threw his arms around the boy, and held him close as they both cried.

“Thanks, Dad. Everything'll be all right …” Oliver nodded, but he didn't believe it. Nothing would ever be all right again, or at least not for a long, long time.

Oliver watched the boy drive away with tears rolling down his cheeks, and he waved at him slowly, and then Benjamin was out of sight, and his father walked slowly back into the house. He had brought the whole damn mess to a head without meaning to, and now Benjamin was a dropout, working in a restaurant and living with a floozy, but maybe something good would come of it, one day … one far-off, distant day….

Inside the house, like it or not, everything was chaos. Moving men were everywhere, the dog was barking frantically, and Sam was so excited, he could hardly stand it, as he ran around the house clutching his bear. Mel stayed on the phone almost until the instant they left, and Aggie insisted on leaving everything in order. But finally they got out, and with a last look at the house they loved, followed the moving van to new adventure in New York. There was a plant from Daphne waiting for them there, and fruit and cookies for the kids, and a box of dog biscuits for Andy. It was the perfect welcome, and Mel squealed excitedly as she saw her room, and made a dash for the phone there.

But as they settled in, all Oliver could think about was Benjamin in his new life, a life he'd bitterly regret one day, if it took that long for him to regret it. And Oliver felt as though, one by one, he was losing the people he loved most dearly.





Chapter 12


The move to New York was the best thing he had done for them in years, Oliver realized within a matter of days. Sam loved his new school, and he had an easy time making friends. And Mel was crazy about her new school, spending time with Daphne whenever she could, going to Bloomingdale's, and calling everyone she knew at home to report each new development in her glamorous new life in the city. And best of all, Oliver managed to get home before dinner every night, and spend the kind of time with the kids that he wanted to. Mel was still on the phone most of the time, but she knew he was there. And he and Sam had hours to talk and read and play games, and with the warmer weather in early May, they sometimes went to the park to play ball after they ate dinner. It was the perfect life. Except for Benjamin, whom Ollie missed constantly, and worried about most of the time. He had lost two people now, although he made a point of seeing the boy every week when they went home to Purchase for the weekends. He wanted him to come over and have dinner with them, but Ben was working at night, and it almost broke his father's heart when he stopped in to see him at the restaurant, working as a busboy for a tiny salary. He renewed his offer to let him stay at the house, much as he disliked the idea of his living alone, and he begged him to go back to school. But Benjamin wouldn't leave Sandra now. And when Ollie glimpsed her one Saturday afternoon, he was shocked. She looked more than five months pregnant, and Oliver wondered if the baby was really his son's. He asked Benjamin as much when he had the chance, but the boy only looked hurt and insisted that it was his baby. He said he was sure of it. And Oliver didn't want to press him.

The hardest blow of all came when the college letters began rolling in. Oliver would find them at the house on the weekend. Benjamin still wanted to get his mail there. The school had never notified them that Benjamin had dropped out, and he had been accepted by all except Duke. He could have gone to Harvard, or Princeton, or Yale, and instead he was scraping other people's food off plates in a restaurant, and at eighteen he was going to be a father. It almost broke Ollie's heart to think about it. Oliver answered all of the letters himself, explaining to all that because of difficult family circumstances at the time, he was unable to accept, but he would like to reapply the following year. Ollie still hoped to get him to New York to finish school. A year would be lost in his life, but no more. And he didn't bring it up with Benjamin again. It was a sensitive subject, and he seemed totally wrapped up in his life with Sandra.

“How about coming to New York for a few days sometime?” Oliver would have done anything to lure him there, but the boy was serious about his responsibilities, and he always declined, explaining that he couldn't leave Sandra alone, and Oliver never extended the invitation to her. Benjamin hadn't been to Boston, either, to see his mother since he'd left home, but he seemed to talk to her from time to time. But Mel and Sam visited her, once they were settled in their new home. They seemed quieter about things this time when they came back, and Oliver had the feeling that Sam was unhappy about something. He tried to ask Mel about it once, but she was vague, saying only that Mom was pretty busy with school. But Oliver sensed that there was something else, and one evening it came out, as he and Sam were playing cards. It was a quiet night, and they were alone. For once, Mel was studying in her room.