"Aunt Helen, we don't have the room for company."

"Oh it'll be just like when you used to come for visits in the summer," Helen said with a dismissive wave. "Now let's get these loaded so I can see just what Gail has done to herself this time. Since you don't seem to be that upset I can only assume she's going to be fine." "With time and medication, yes," Laura began. "But you just can't stay with us."

"Now my little Laura," Helen said as if speaking to a child. "Don't you remember when I came to visit and you and I had that nice long chat about your 'roommate'? There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I'm not that kind of roommate," Crystal finally spoke up. "I really do have a room of my own."

"Oh." Helen frowned and Crystal was sure that would be end of that subject but then the flamboyant woman found her own solution. "Well you at least have a couch, don't you?" The older woman laughed heartily. "I promise not to bring any young men home with me." Crystal looked to Laura only to see her usually self-assured roommate slump her shoulders in defeat. Guess we have company for a few days. Looking at the pile of luggage still waiting to be secured in or on the Jeep, the blonde had to just hope it was only a few days and not a few months.

In the end it was decided by Laura that Helen would take her room and she would use the couch, her manners refusing to allow her to do anything less for a guest, no matter how grating on the nerves the guest was. Helen took the passenger seat and promptly claimed control over the radio on the way home. Disco tunes spilled out of the speakers while Helen jabbered endlessly to Laura about the various relatives and what they were doing. Doing her best to stay away from either rear speaker, Crystal found herself sitting in the middle of the back seat and unable to miss various snippets of conversation. It certainly wasn't hard since Helen insisted on speaking louder than the music instead of turning the volume down to a more humane level. The image of Laura's family as being squeaky clean and perfect quickly flew from Crystal's mind as Helen went on.

"And the fool probably would have gotten away with it if he didn't sneeze while hiding in that storm drain," Laura's aunt said, finishing a story about one of the cousins. "He's lucky he only received probation."

"Uh huh," Laura said absently, her eyes on apparently most of her attention on the road. Helen turned to Crystal.

"So tell me is my niece still completely anal about keeping her house clean?"

"Um" Realizing she was a trapped audience, Crystal took a deep breath and surrendered. "Yeah."

"She needs to let her hair down and live a little," the older woman continued. "She's far too stuffy. Maybe we can get her to break out of her shell while I'm here. How does that sound?"

Oh please just come and take me now, Crystal silently prayed, visions of being dragged to bingo and museums passing through her mind. "Well, it depends on what Laura wants to do," she finally said. "I work a lot so I might not be able to go with you two." Please make all your plans for the weekdays. I hope Michael has lots of overtime.

"Nonsense," Helen replied. "We'll make sure to find the time."

Crystal frowned, realizing Helen was the type of person who never took no for an answer. "How long are you staying?" "I suppose a week or so. We'll see. I hate to set dates."

The answer did nothing to make Crystal feel better.

"She's driving me nuts," Crystal growled, flopping atop the beanbag. "Have you ever met this kook?"

Jenny, who had spent the better part of the week listening to Laura rant on the phone about the free spirited aunt who turned their home upside down, was ready for some type of complaint from Crystal but not quite the one she received. There was barely a hello before the younger woman shoved the composition book into her hands and began ranting about Laura's aunt. "What is she doing that is making you so upset?"

"Everything," Crystal huffed, using her fingers to straighten out her disarrayed hair. "I thought Laura was annoying at times but this woman takes the damn cake. You know how Laura always gets the answer to every question on the game shows?"

Jenny nodded, a trait she was familiar with. "And that annoys you?"

"Not as much as when Helen the human encyclopedia does it. The question asked which dam, not when it was built and its life history. So Laura says Hoover and Helen goes off on how it created Boulder City and she just kept going on and on." Crystal's dander was getting up and stopping was out of the question. "It was like no matter what Laura said, she had to add to it until they end up in this long drawn out conversation about something that has nothing to do with the question they asked in the first place. She's driving Laura nuts." Crystal shot a glance at Jenny. "Yeah, I know, we can't talk about Laura."

Jenny nodded and opened the composition book. "So it's been quite a busy week at home."

"Home, work, everything." Slumping down to make the beanbag more of a pillow than a seat, Crystal laced her fingers behind her head and stared off at nothing. "It's not enough Laura has to deal with her mother who keeps getting more bitchy each day she has to stay at the hospital but Helen's driving her up the wall." Apparently the rule forbidding Laura being a topic of conversation was forgotten by Crystal and Jenny hesitated in interrupting what was one of the longest trains of thought her patient had revealed to date. "I bet she's not getting much writing done even with the computer down in the living room now. I don't hear her typing and it's right below my room." The anger and agitation present in Crystal's voice when she first entered the room were gone, replaced by a much softer and reflective tone. "You know I never thought of that?" She smiled. "The bathroom is between our rooms but when we both have the doors to the balcony open, I can hear her typing."

"Why do you think you listen for her typing?" Jenny prodded.

"I dunno." Crystal gave a familiar shrug. "I guess it just reminds me that she's right there."

"Like your sister was right in the next room when you were growing up?"

"Kinda but not quite." The blonde stretched her legs out and crossed her ankles. "It's different than when I would listen for Patty. I can't explain it." Jenny, skimming through the notebook while Crystal was talking, looked up. "Do you want to talk about this dream?"

Surprise crossed Crystal's face, followed quickly by a frown. "Not really. I don't know why I bothered writing about it. It's no big deal."

"This is the first time you've ever mentioned having an erotic dream," the therapist pointed out. "The fact you woke up during the foreplay aside, I do think it is significant. Have you had these dreams before?"

"I'm not gonna talk about my sex life, or lack of it, with you," Crystal said firmly, setting her jaw and crossing her arms over her chest. "Let's talk about something else."

"You want to move onto a safer topic, hmm? All right. Did you go to the meeting Tuesday night?" Crystal's frown and refusal to respond gave Jenny her answer. "I see. These sessions are a tool designed to help you, Crystal. I wouldn't recommend them if I didn't think they'd be helpful to you." "I don't need to sit around and listen to someone else's sad story," the blonde grumbled. "Besides, I was busy with Laura and that nut aunt of hers."

Jenny let the comment pass, refusing to take the bait and return to the taboo topic. "You're never too busy to take care of yourself and that's what the women's group meetings are. I can't force you to go but I strongly suggest you do."

"Yes Mother," came the acerbic reply, followed by a snort. "Actually if you were my mother you'd be too drunk to notice if I did something or not." There was a long silence before Crystal continued. "Not that she'd notice anything Patty did more than me or anything but it was like we'd show her something we did at school and she'd just ignore us."

"She didn't find the same things important that you did," Jenny said. "And how did that make you feel?"

"Patty and me hated it of course."

"No. Not how did Patty feel. How did it make you feel when you came home with something you wanted your mother to praise you for and it didn't happen?"

Crystal thought about it for a moment, opening her mouth to say something then closing it without making a sound. A small smile curled the e.g.of her lip. "I was going to say pissed off but I guess I really felt hurt." Her hands returned to their previous position behind her head. "It hurt that everyone else went home to moms who loved them and paid attention to them and mine didn't." Crystal took a deep breath. "I don't know why." Words long kept inside came out with a wavering voice, her eyes refusing to move from their inspection of the ceiling. "I came home with first place in art and she threw it out. I got a ninety five on one of the pretests and Laura hung it up on the refrigerator." Crystal's eyes blinked rapidly, trying hard to stave off the moisture welling up within them. "You know how they say you don't know what you've got until it's gone?"

"Yes?"

Crystal sniffed. "Well, I guess it's true then that you don't know what you're missing until it shows up."

"Meaning?" Jenny pushed.

"Meaning" Sitting up, Crystal brought her knees up and rested her forearms on them. "Since Patty, there hasn't ever been anyone until now that I felt cared about me." Emotions flickered over Crystal's face as she tried to make sense of her jumbled thoughts. "I've had friends but never anyone close, not like Laura has been." The young woman gave a short laugh and looked over at Jenny. "I've forgotten what it's like for someone to actually give a damn about me. To pay attention to what's going on in my life. To"