With a heavy breath, Kansas pushed herself up from her bed, her back screaming at her for lying in the same position for so long. On her hands and knees on the mattress, she looked down at her handiwork. A sliver of arousal mixed with guilt shimmied its way into her heart. Nina lay back against a bed, her head partially turned away from the viewer, though enough could be seen to know it was the brunette. One arm was raised above her head, the other hand clutching at the sheet that barely covered her body. The majority of one breast was revealed, the sheet just barely covering the rigid nipple. This was the only drawing that Kansas hadn't allowed her imagination to go totally nuts, and had basically used what was actually in the original drawing and pose. She just used. . . a little license. She'd hide them away in the morning. No one could ever see them. Definitely not Nina.
Kansas finally stood, stretching her arms high above her head, squeaking slightly as she pulled her body taut, getting all the kinks out. She took one more look at her work, then walked over to her bedroom door, intent on heading out to pee. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a light across the way. She walked over to the window, shocked to see Nina sitting behind her desk, and looking over at her.
The blonde waved, Nina waving in return with a huge smile. Kansas got an idea, tapping lightly on her window and pointing down. Confused, Nina raised a brow with a shrug.
"Outside," the teenager said, pointing again. Finally her neighbor nodded, getting up from her chair. Kansas was nervous as she grabbed her shoes, hopping across her bedroom one foot at a time as she pulled them on. Opening her door, the blonde glanced down the hall toward her mother's room. Hearing and seeing nothing, she scurried down the hall and stairs, toward the back door off the kitchen.
***
Nina tugged on her shorts as she hit the back porch, quietly closing the door behind her. The night was warm, but pleasantly so. It was the kind of night where you could put a tent up in the backyard, and it would be wonderful to sleep in it.
"Psst,"
Nina's attention was grabbed. She glanced to her left, seeing Kansas standing at the chain-link fence that divided their yards. "Hey," she whispered, which sounded so loud to her on the early morning breeze.
"Hey, yourself," the blonde said. "What are you doing up so late?"
"Couldn't sleep," Nina admitted, leaning on the fence. "What about you?" she playfully chucked her friend in the arm. "Don't you need your sleep? A growing girl, or something."
Kansas rolled her eyes. "Somehow I think I'm done. My mom did the best she could with the DNA, but," she shrugged with a sigh, "think I'm done."
"She did a real nice job, Kansas," Nina said softly as she looked into the blonde's face and green eyes. She cleared her throat, realizing what she'd just said. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I was. . . " Kansas stopped herself, remembering just exactly what is was she had been doing. "reading."
"Gotcha." Nina jerked her head toward her backyard, backing off from the fence. The blonde quickly hopped the chain-link, like she'd done a million times already that summer, following her neighbor deeper into the shadows of the night. They settled on the cool grass, the blades tickling bare legs. Nina crossed her ankles, resting back on her hands as she looked up into the night sky. "It's such a gorgeous night out tonight," she said absently, almost wistful.
"Yeah. Years ago when my folks were still married, at the other house, I had a huge trampoline out in the backyard. I used to bring out a pillow and blanket and sleep on it. This would be the perfect night for that." She tore her eyes from the bright star she'd settled on, finding Nina's gaze already on her. The brunette had a soft smile curving her lips as she listened. "I used to stare up at the sky, connecting the stars like dots, creating crazy pictures in my head."
"Sounds wonderful. Where is the trampoline, now?"
Kansas shrugged, flopping back into the thick grass. "I got busy once I got into high school. Too many art clubs and friends. That sort of thing."
"Hmm. That's too bad." Nina fell back, lying beside the blonde. She closed her eyes, breathing in the summer night: smell of freshly cut grass beneath her; flowers blooming off to her left; the strawberry scent of Kansas' shampoo that drifted to her on the breeze. "Why don't you go out with friends now?"
Kansas grew very quiet, not wanting to talk about that. Nina was surprised when her innocent question was met with only silence. She raised herself, turning to her side. Looking down at the teen, she felt her heart break as a moon-silvered tear slid down Kansas' cheek.
"Kansas?" she asked softly, scooting closer to the blonde. "Oh, sweetie," she whispered, gathering the girl in her arms. "I'm sorry," she said into thick, blonde hair. She allowed the girl to cry against her, tears chilling the flesh above Nina's right breast as she lay back, pulling Kansas with her. As she cuddled the teen in her comforting embrace, she thought back to her own childhood, and when her parents had split.
"I'm sorry,' Kansas said eventually, trying to pull away, but held tight. "I'm being such a kid."
"No, you're not," Nina soothed, kissing the top of her head. "You're someone who's had her heart broken."
"I don't wanna cry over him, Nina," Kansas sniffled. "He doesn't deserve that much from me. I don't care about him."
"Yes you do."
"Why did he leave, Nina?" Kansas' voice was so soft, so small, the brunette barely heard it.
"Why, indeed?" the attorney murmured, staring up into the sky as she combed her fingers through Kansas' hair. The girl had calmed, though still cuddled against her. The words came to her head, and suddenly, she couldn't stop. "Sometimes a person realizes that they're not happy, that what they truly thought they wanted, and who they truly thought they wanted it with, are two different things. We lie to ourselves, Kansas. We lie all the time, convincing ourselves of one thing, when in fact, we took the easy road, or what looked to be the least bumpy."
Kansas raised her head, looking down at Nina, who still stared up at the stars, seemingly unaware that the blonde had moved. She watched Nina as she spoke, gaze following the movement of lips and teeth, the way the brunette's expressions changed with every thought in her head.
"One day it hits us, right between the eyes," Nina continued, "If I stay here one minute more, I'll die inside." Her eyes finally met Kansas'. "Then we stay anyway."
Kansas brought her own hand up, gently pushing a tuft of grass away from Nina's ear. "You're not happy, are you?" she asked, though to the practiced ear, it was very much a statement. Nina blinked up at her for a moment, as though trying to filter the softly-spoken words through her brain.
"I've made my bed, Kansas," she said at length. She couldn't break the intense, green gaze of the woman leaning over her, nor could she breathe. Her heart was pounding, blood rushing through her system at frightening speeds.
Kansas wasn't sure if she was relived at or cursing the neighbor's dog that began to bark in the yard adjacent to Nina's. The spell was broken, the night expanding beyond just the two of them once more.
"Speaking of bed," Nina said, sitting up and brushing grass out of her hair. She stood, holding a hand out for Kansas to take. "I should be in mine." She helped the blonde to her feet, then pulled her into a gentle hug. "Everything will be okay, sweetheart," she whispered into Kansas' ear. She felt the teen nod, then moved away. They exchanged quiet, knowing smiles, then went separate ways.
"Everything okay?" Dan mumbled as Nina climbed back into bed.
"It's fine. Go to sleep." It was a long time before the brunette did.
***
Kansas was nearly skipping as she made her way back to her house and bedroom. As much of a high as she was on, she hit nearly equally bottom when she discovered her mother standing in the middle of her bedroom, Nina's drawings in her hands. The blood drained out of the teen's face, making her nearly as pale as her mother.
Marina turned to see her daughter standing in the doorway, her eyes filled with fear. Then all hell broke loose.
"What the hell are you doing in my room!" the blonde demanded, storming over to the stunned older woman and snatching the drawings from her hands. "And what are you doing going through my stuff?!"
Marina shook herself out of her shocked stupor. "First off, this is my house, Kansas. Second of all," she reached for the drawings, which were moved out of her reach. "What are you doing drawing naked women? What is that woman," she indicated the house across the way, "letting my teenaged daughter draw her naked for!?"
"Nothing! These are private to me. You had no right." Not only was Kansas afraid of what her mother would say or do, but she felt horribly violated. "We did nothing wrong-{
"Nothing wrong? Kansas, that is a naked woman! And not only that, but it's a naked woman who is married, and ten years older than you! What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking she's a beautiful woman and I'd like to draw her!" Kansas could feel her eyes stinging, anger and embarrassment warring. Her anger won out as tears escaped down her cheeks. "She did nothing wrong," she sniffled. "I added the embellishments." She turned her back on her mother, not wanting Marina to see her upset and embarrassment.
The elder blonde stood there, stunned anew. "Honey," she said, voice soft. She tried to put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, but Kansas pulled away.
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