Kansas said nothing, just gently removed the Kleenex from Nina's fingers and handing her a clean one. The brunette smiled in gratitude before continuing.
"Dan works long hours, and he's gone a lot. I work long hours, and I'm gone a lot, too. This, young Kansas, does not a good marriage make." She smiled weakly at the blonde. "These things have to be nurtured. And somewhere along the way," she paused, taking a deep breath. "I guess I just stopped. And so did he." Nina began to cry again.
Kansas let her instincts take over, placing an arm around the older woman's shoulders, and gently tugging until a brunette head rested against her shoulder. "Shhh," Kansas cooed. "I know."
After awhile Nina calmed, but remained where she was. "I'm really sorry, Kansas. I really shouldn't be putting this all on you. Going through this with your parents. . . I'm sorry."
The teen gave in to a guilty pleasure and ran her fingers through the thick, dark hair. "It's okay. You just looked so upset. I had to make sure you were okay."
After a moment Nina pulled away. "You're a good person, Kansas. Don't taint yourself on relationships before your time. They're not all bad- not all like your mom and dad's. . . or mine." Slapping the blonde's thigh, Nina stood. "I need to get to bed. Got court early in the morning." The brunette walked Kansas to the door. They stood at the open stoop. "Why the name Kansas?"
The teen shrugged. "I don't know. My mom won't tell me. I'm thinking either she liked the group, or more gross, I was conceived there."
Nina chuckled, then drew the teen in for a quick hug. "Thanks again. Have a good night."
***
The following weekend Kansas headed into the Bruckner's backyard. She had mowed three days before, but had to cut it short to get ready to have dinner with her dad. She was coming back to weed and trim. The flowers also looked like they could use a little TLC.
As the blonde unlocked and opened the shed door, she was frightened out of her mind by a voice in her ear.
"What are you doing?"
She jumped, whirling around to see Nina standing behind her, a grin plastered to her face. Kansas' words of admonishment died on her lips when she saw what the brunette was wearing: a red bikini top with a sari wrapped around her waist. She took in the gorgeous woman's body, swallowing visibly.
"I thought you already mowed the lawn?" Nina said, pulling the teen from her inspection.
"I did. I didn't have time to finish with the watering and weeding," the blonde explained pulling her gaze from Nina's breasts with some effort. The brunette didn't seem to notice, or let it go.
"I see. Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to get some tanning in. Come join if you want."
Kansas nodded dumbly, her sunglass-covered gaze falling once again to Nina's cleavage. Her fingers literally itched to touch the creamy flesh. She'd never touched a woman, never so much as kissed one. Oh, but she wanted to kiss and touch Nina!
Without another word, the attorney turned and headed back to the porch, her ass Kansas' new visual target. The teenager pulled herself out of her stupor, knowing damn well that one of these days she was going to get caught, and then feel like an ass. She genuinely liked Nina, and didn't want the older woman to think badly of her.
The sun above was hot, but Kansas was loving the tan she was getting working in Nina's yard. She glanced often over at her neighbor, who lay, seemingly unaware, on a lounger. Once in a great while the blonde's gaze would be met by a smile as Nina pushed herself up to her elbows, watching the girl work, or watching the birds in the many trees sprinkled throughout the yard. They hadn't spoken about the fight Kansas had witnessed the previous week, and in truth, Kansas hadn't seen much of Dan, either. She wondered what came of it.
"Kansas?" Nina called. The blonde glanced over her shoulder from where she was kneeling and pulling weeds. "How did your dinner go? The one with your dad," she explained, seeing the blonde's confusion.
"Oh. Uh, it was okay," Kansas said, turning back to her gardening. She hated talking about her father. Even with Nina. She was startled by the touch to her shoulder. Glancing to her left, she saw Nina kneeling next to and slightly behind her.
"Come sit with me for awhile," the brunette said softly. Kansas nodded, wiping her dirty hands on her shorts, then following Nina to the back porch. The brunette reclined again on her lounger, but Kansas simply straddled hers, looking out over the yard. "You know, it's not fair that I had to bare my heart and pain to you, but you don't return the favor, Kansas. I consider us to be friends."
The teen looked over at her, then nodded. Turn about. . . . "It was alright, I guess. It was the first time I've seen him in about six months." She paused, then dark blonde brows drew. "How did you know about it?"
"Your mom told me. I went over to your place to see if you wanted to watch a movie. She told me you were out with your father."
"She has a big mouth."
"Don't be that way, Kansas." Nina paused, looking at the girl's profile. "He really hurt you, didn't he?"
The blonde nodded. "I don't want anything to do with him." She picked at a loose piece of plastic tubing on the lounger, her body growing stiff with the anger his name evoked.
"Don't say that, sweetheart," Nina said softly, understanding in her voice. She reached over and placed a warm hand on Kansas' knee. "He's the only one you've got. This pain will pass, I assure you."
Kansas looked at her. "How do you know?"
"Because my own folks split when I was 13. Once I got over the anger, I realized that my dad had actually done us a favor by leaving. My parents' relationship was so unhealthy, ultimately it would have been worse, far more damaging, had he stayed. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah. But, damn." Kansas felt angry at herself as she felt the familiar sting of tears. She swiped at them, pumping herself to feel as strong as she needed to be. "I don't care about him anymore. He made his bed."
"You care."
"No, I don't."
"Kansas? Honey, if you didn't care, you wouldn't feel." Nina moved over so she was sitting on the blonde's long chair, sitting behind her. She gently massaged her shoulders. "It's okay to care. He's your dad, and you love him, regardless of what happened. He loves you, too. You may not know or believe that, but he does."
With every word, Nina was breaking down Kansas' defenses, and the teen silently cursed her for it. She didn't want to cry, and sure as hell didn't want to cry in front of Nina! She shook her head, but the tears increased as she felt warm pressure against her upper back, and realized Nina had rested her head there.
"It's okay to cry, Kansas. It wasn't your fault, honey."
Kansas lost it, rough sobs coming from her throat, chest heaving. She was turned in the circle of Nina's arms and brought in against the brunette. Kansas could feel the heat of her bare arms and shoulders. Nina stroked her hair, running her fingers through the short strands. As Kansas calmed down, Nina placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Everything will be okay, I promise." She gave the teen a winning smile. "My father and I are very close, now. You'll get through it."
Kansas nodded in acknowledgement, sniffling. "I'm sorry. I feel like such a dork right now." She wiped her face on her sleeve. "You must think I'm such a baby right now. Or worse- a kid."
"Not at all. I think you're a beautiful young woman who is trying to be too strong for her own good." She smiled. "You don't need the big, tough butch act with me." She winked at a surprised Kansas. Shit! Does she know? "Okay?"
Finally Kansas nodded, wiping the last of her tears dry. It had actually felt good to cry, something she hadn't allowed herself permission to do since the day her dad left. She studied Nina's face, really looked at her. An idea came to mind. "Would you let me draw you?"
Nina blinked, not expecting that request.
"Please?"
"Why do you want to draw me?" the brunette asked, brows falling in question.
Kansas turned shy, but knowing she had to answer honestly. "Because you're beautiful. You'd make a perfect sketch."
It was Nina's turn to get shy. She looked down, trying to cover a nervous smile. "Thank you." She lifted her head, looking into Kansas' hopeful gaze. "Sure."
Inside Nina's house, Kansas directed them to the living room, as it had the best light. She wasn't even sure what to have Nina do, as she'd never really had a live model like this before, that wasn't part of an art class. Yeah, so she'd drawn Kayla, but the redheaded cheerleader hardly knew she was being watched, let alone sketched. The brunette stood in the middle of her living room, still wearing the bikini, the sari gone. She looked nervous and expectant.
"Where do you want me?" she asked at length, after they'd both stood there unsure for two minutes.
"Um," Kansas looked around. Where, indeed? She somehow thought that suggesting the bedroom wouldn't be the wisest thing to do. Instead, she told the brunette to sit on the couch. "Let's start simple." She perched on the coffee table in front of Nina, looking at her critically. Finally, she reached up, cupping the brunette's chin, slightly tilting her head to the left. She wanted the waning afternoon light to catch her eyes perfectly. "there," she said, looking at her handiwork. "Perfect."
Nina held her position while Kansas made herself comfortable on the recliner across from her, tapping her pencil on the sketch pad a few times before wiping the page clean with her fist, and beginning her work. She mainly concentrated on Nina's face, not bothering to position her body, as she wanted only to capture the gorgeous features. She was awed all over again by just how beautiful Nina really was, and as her eyes scanned the brunette, she allowed her pencil tip to caress the lines of her face. It only took her maybe fifteen minutes to get a good sketch, but she allowed herself a few moments to study Nina, really look at her, and take her in, giving her eyes a visual treat, while not getting busted for staring, cause she had permission.
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