Michael nodded. "Okay."  He watched as the beautiful brunette headed out of the gallery, shaking his head.  "Oh boy."

***

The bookstore was small, a locally owned shop with a surprisingly large selection of books and newspapers.  Nina had made herself comfortable in an armchair with the latest Newsweek lying out on her lap.  She sipped a mocha breve as she read.

Three scattered magazine later, and a very cold last few sips of mocha breve, someone sat down in the chair next to Nina's.  She glanced up, blinking in surprise as she'd gotten so lost in her reading.  Kansas grinned at her.

"You rang?"

"Hi.  Uh, yeah."  Nina slapped her magazine closed and tossed it to the small pile, scattering them to the floor.  She chuckled shyly as she gathered them back together on the small table. "How are you?"

"I'm alright.  And yourself?"  Kansas reclined in the chair, crossing an ankle over her knee, booted foot tapping an unknown beat.

"I'm, well," Nina looked down at her hands, then up into the expectant green eyes of her companion. "I won't apologize, as I don't feel I did anything wrong, but I do want to thank you.  The sketch was a wonderful surprise."

Kansas studied her for a long moment, then nodded.  "You're welcome.  If you're not going to apologize, then I guess I will."  Kansas paused, running a hand through already messy hair.  "I was an asshole.  You don't deserve that."  She grinned, crooked and rueful. "Guess maybe there's some latent anger in there somewhere."

"So then talk to me about it.  Get it out."  Nina indicated herself. "I'm here.  Here's your chance."

Kansas stared at her for a moment like she'd lost her mind, but then seemed to warm to the idea.  "Okay.  I was pissed as hell at you for a long time.  You were my first heartbreak.  How's that?  Let it out enough for ya?"

Nina sat there stunned, now wishing she'd never asked for it.  She could see by the look in Kansas' eyes that she was speaking from the heart.  "I guess I do need to apologize today," she said softly.  "I hope now, living a little bit of life and understanding the way things work, you can understand why I did what I did."

"My head does.  But my heart. . . "

"Doesn't have a clue," Nina finished.

"Pretty much."  Kansas waived the coffee shop girl over, giving her a charming smile as she ordered a bottle of water.  The girl quickly headed off to do her bidding.  She turned her gaze back to Nina, waiting.

"I was trying to do you a favor by leaving the way I did, Kansas.  It was wrong for me to feel the way about you that I did, and I knew that emotionally I was not in the right place to be feeling anything, or to trust any of those feelings.  I left to give us both a chance to start over, fresh, and honest."  She pleaded with her eyes for the blonde to understand.  "You needed time and room to grow up and I needed time and room to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, since I'd just walked away from my old one.  Does that make sense?"

Kansas was quiet for a long moment, pulling out a couple bills to pay for her water as the girl returned with it.  Twisting off the top, she stared off into space, thinking.  Finally, after a long swallow of the cold drink, she nodded.  "Yes.  I can appreciate that.  It doesn't mean I have to like it," she said with a raised finger, "but I can understand."

"Quite honestly, I figured you'd go on to college, meet some cute girl your own age, and forget all about me."

Kansas studied her for a moment, blonde head cocked slightly to the side.  "Is that what you wanted me to do?  Forget about you?"

"Well," Nina hedged, a small smile on her lips. "Maybe not completely, but I did want you to find happiness, yes."

"Did you?  Find happiness."

"We're not talking about me," Nina said, trying her best to divert the attention back to Kansas.

"Oh, bullshit!" The blonde reached over and slapped her leg.  "You're so full of crap your eyes should've been brown instead of gorgeous baby blue.  Come on, Professor, teach me something."

"Cute," Nina drawled.  "Yes.  For the most part, I did find happiness.  I leaned to be true to myself, and I got myself out of every situation that was bringing me down in life, or that was less than what I would accept- my marriage, my career, the lies I told myself, and had been since I was 22 years old."

"What about love?" Kansas asked, her voice heartbreakingly soft.

Nina met the frank gaze with one of her own.  "No.  I don't know that I'm looking for it, either."

"I see.  Well then, guess we've got something in common, don't we?"

"I guess so."  Nina raised her long-cold coffee cup to clink with Kansas' raised water bottle.  "Here's to no love, and okay with it."

The blonde grinned, taking a swig from her drink.  "So, anti-love, care to have dinner with me tonight?"

Nina eyed her younger friend, chewing on her bottom lip before agreeing with a nod. "Alright."

***

Nina stormed into her townhouse, startled Yorkies getting well out of the way.  Lights flared to life in the brunette's rampage path.  She pushed through her bedroom door, stripping out of her jacket and throwing her purse to the bed.  She grabbed the hem of her shirt, about to whip it over her head when she heard the sound of pounding on the door downstairs.  Wanting to ignore it, she knew she couldn't.

Nina stomped down to the main floor, shoving the curtains aside on the window next to the door.  Just as she figured, a very pissed off Kansas stood on the stoop.

"Yes?" she sad, pulling the door open.  The blonde was startled silent for a moment before regaining her bearing.

"What the hell, Nina?  Why did you leave the fucking restaurant?"

"Gee, I didn't know.  Shall I say for starters because my dinner companion was about to fuck some chick in the bathroom?" Nina fumed, hand on her hip.  Kansas pushed past her, entering the house.

"Your neighbors don't need to hear this."

"Don't need to hear what?  That you're an asshole of the highest degree?  Is that what you don't want them to hear?"  Nina marched into the kitchen, leaving Kansas still standing just inside the door.  She slammed it shut then followed, only narrowly missing getting hit by a flying dog toy that squeaked as it bounced off the wall behind Kansas.  "How the hell could you do that?  I cannot believe I agreed to go to dinner with you.  Mistake number one."  Kansas opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted as Nina continued. "Mistake number two was staying when I saw you eye that woman as she entered the damn restaurant.  My third and final mistake was believing that we could rekindle our friendship after all this time, and after all the shit I've heard about you and now seen with my own eyes."  She turned her back to the blonde, resting her weight on the counter by the sink.

"What you think happened didn't happen, Nina," Kansas said, her own anger bubbling just under the surface.

"You two were making out, Kansas!" Nina fumed, whirling on the smaller woman.

"She kissed me!"

Nina stared at her, incredulous.  "Kansas, you get up from the table, you're gone for fifteen minutes.  Do you have any idea how goddamn rude that is?  So, I get up to make sure you haven't had a fucking heart attack in the bathroom, and end up finding you and that woman making out."  She paused, shaking her head, her hurt showing in her eyes.  "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Wait," Kansas held up her hands in supplication.  "I know it looked bad.  Please, let me explain."

Nina stood back, arms crossed over her chest as she waited to hear what would come out of Kansas' mouth.  "Please.  Enthrall me."

"I saw that woman and I looked at her, yes.  She used to be an artist I worked with years ago, and who is going to be working with us on a show coming this winter.  Okay, yes, I looked at her, so strike me dead!  Next, I had to pee.  I'm sorry I didn't invite you to join me, but I truly had to piss!  While in the bathroom, Michael called me.  He had a slight emergency with one of our artists, mainly that one of his paintings was missing.  I made some calls, and we finally figured out that it had been sent out by Michael's assistant to be cleaned, but she forgot to let anyone know.  Sandra, said artist working with us this winter, came in to the bathroom as I was finishing up my calls, and we began to talk."

"So why was her tongue in your mouth?" Nina asked, shocked by just how jealous she felt- she was nearly vibrating with it.

"I was shocked by that, too," Kansas said, her voice tired as she ran a hand through her hair. "Sandra has made it clear since the day we met that she'd like to be more than colleagues, but I've never been interested.  I was about to shove her away when you came in.  I swear."

Nina kept her gaze, and saw that it was steady and true.  Kansas was telling the truth.  Blowing out a breath, she turned her back to the blonde again, feeling ashamed and stupid.   "I'm sorry I got so upset.  It was wrong."  A small smile touched her lips. "It was still rude, though."

Kansas breathed a sigh of relief as she walked up behind the brunette, studying the way her shirt hugged her body, the way dark tendrils of hair gleamed under the harsh kitchen light.  "I'm sorry I didn't say anything about the call, let you know.  I just got caught up in trying to fix my business."  She could feel the heat pouring off Nina's body in waves, drawing her in closer to be warmed.  Nina said nothing.  Kansas closed her eyes, allowing all that was Nina to seep into her skin, all five senses alive and aware.  "I'm sorry," she whispered, moving in closer until she could feel Nina's back press into her front, her arms reaching around to hug the taller woman.