There would come a day when Pip’s thinking would radically change. Thank God she had a few more years before that happened. “Well, you don’t have to kiss anyone if you don’t want to.” Lily bit the corner of her lip to keep from smiling. “Except me.”

She rose from the couch and moved into the kitchen. She looked through the window at Tucker’s house. The lights were out and he was no doubt working. Hiding in one of his favorite spots, waiting for unsuspecting speeders.

For the past few days he’d been avoiding her. He’d been honest about his life. He’d told her everything because he loved her. She hadn’t been quite so honest. She hadn’t told him everything because… she hadn’t wanted him to leave her.

She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers into her brows. She hadn’t been open and honest because she hadn’t wanted him to leave, but he’d left anyway. She hadn’t wanted to date him because of his age. She’d been afraid of what people would say. He hadn’t cared. He’d been bold and fearless. She used to be bold and fearless. She used to love with her whole heart, like Tucker.

She lowered her hands and looked at his empty house. Her heart got all pinchy and achy. She did love him. She’d fought it, but she loved him with her whole pinchy, achy heart. Loved him so much it crawled across her skin and brought tears to her eyes. Her head got all light and anxious. She couldn’t control her feelings. They were too big-too much-but unlike her thirty-year-old self she wasn’t losing it. She couldn’t control loving Tucker, but she wasn’t out of control. She knew exactly what she was doing when she grabbed her coat and purse.

“Pippy, I need to go somewhere.”

“Where?”

She wasn’t quite sure, but she had a good idea. “Just out for some air.”

She called her mother and made up a lie about having forgotten something at her salon. When Louella walked in the door, Lily shoved her arms in her coat and walked out.

She jumped in her Jeep and headed to Highway 152. She wasn’t crazy, she was going after what she wanted. What she’d been afraid to want for a long time.

Tucker had mentioned he liked to hang out behind the Welcome to Lovett sign, waiting for speeders. She drove past-and sure enough, a Potter County cruiser sat several feet behind the sign. She flipped a U, floored the gas pedal, and hit eighty as she passed. She was still in perfect control. Not feeling crazy at all. She glanced into the rearview mirror and saw nothing but the inky black night.

“Okay,” she said, still in control and not the least crazy. She flipped another U and this time got up to ninety-six. She glanced into the rearview and smiled as the red, white, and blue lights lit up the Texas night. She pulled over and waited. She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead, waiting. Her heart thumping and her chest aching. If she wasn’t careful, she might hyperventilate. A Maglite tapped her window and she hit the switch.

“Lily.”

“Neal?” She stuck her head out the window and looked down the highway. “What are you doing here?”

“My job. What are you doing out here driving like your tail’s on fire?”

“I’m looking for someone.” If Tucker wasn’t on highway 152, where was he?

“I need your driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance.”

Lily gasped. “You’re not giving me a ticket are you?”

“Yes, ma’am. You were doing ninety-eight.”

Ninety-six, but who was counting. “I don’t have time Neal,” she said as she dug around in her jockey box. “Can you just mail it to me?” She found her registration and handed it over with her license and insurance card.

“No. I’ll be right back.”

“But…” She didn’t have time to sit around. She glanced in her rearview mirror and watched him move to his car. She called Tucker on her UConnect but hung up when his voicemail answered. Where could he be? She didn’t want to kick in the back door of a jewelry store on the off chance he’d respond. She wasn’t that crazy. Yet.

Within a few minutes Neal returned. “Sign here,” he said and shined his light on a ticket clipped to a board.

“I still can’t believe you’re giving me a ticket.”

“I can’t believe you sped by me twice. What the hell is wrong with you, girl?”

“I thought you were someone else.” She signed the ticket and handed him back the pen.

“Who?”

He was going to find out anyway. “Deputy Matthews.”

Neal rocked back on his heels and laughed. “Tucker?”

Lily didn’t have a clue what was so funny. “We’re dating.” She raised a hand and dropped it back on the steering wheel. “Sort of.”

“Poor bastard. Are you going to drive your Jeep into his house?”

“That’s not funny, and I can’t believe you’re bringing that up.” Actually she could. Neal had been one of the first responders that horrible night of infamy. And this was Lovett. No one could just let anything go.

“Tucker’s at the Road Kill with some of the guys. It’s Marty’s birthday and someone got him a stripper. If you go there, don’t get all crazy.”

She frowned. “I don’t get crazy anymore.”

“Then why are you out here speeding up and down the highway?”

It might not look like it, but she was in control. “I’m not crazy.”

He tore off the ticket and handed it to her.

“I thought you were my friend, Neal.”

“I am. That’s why I wrote you a ticket for one-twenty instead of one-eighty-five like you deserve.”

Lily gasped once more. “One hundred and twenty dollars?” She stuffed the ticket in her coat pocket.

“Good to see you, Lily.”

“Wish I could say the same.” What a jerk, but she had been raised right so she grudgingly added, “Tell Suzanne and the kids I said hey.”

“Will do and slow down.” Neal stepped back and Lily eased the Jeep back onto the highway. The Road Kill was about twenty minutes away and she was careful to drive the speed limit. She even drove a few miles under, but her mind raced-spinning and tumbling, and her heart felt like it was cracking. She was in love with Tucker. She took a deep breath and let it out, checking herself. She felt okay. Still not feeling crazy. Okay, maybe a tiny bit, but not enough to drive her car through someone’s house crazy. That was crazy. Destructive crazy, and she wasn’t that Lily anymore.

The gravel parking lot of the Road Kill was filled, but she was able to find a spot near the front door. She’d just go in, tell Tucker she loved him, and everything would work out. It had to… because she didn’t want to think about a life without him in it.

Honky-tonk music filtered through the cracks in the building and grew louder when she went inside. Everyone knew that the back rooms could be rented out, and she headed through the bar. A few people called out her name and she held up a hand and waved as she wove her way through the crowd. When she got to one of the back rooms, she slipped through the door as a stripper in a cop outfit cuffed Marty Dingus to a chair. From an MP3 player, Kid Rock sang about picking up a “mean little missy” in Baton Rouge. Lily’s gaze scanned the room until it landed on Tucker, who stood to one side. He wore a black T-shirt and jeans and his head was cocked to one side as if he was studying the stripper’s butt.

Her heart pounding in her chest, Lily walked past the shocked gazes of some of the other deputies. Tucker was transfixed on the stripper and raised a bottle of Lone Star.

“Seriously, Tucker?” She stopped next to him. “Cadillac Pussy?” She pointed to the MP3 and the music blaring from the small speakers. “You know how I feel about crude language.”

His head whipped toward her and he lowered the beer. “What are you doing here, Lily?” He looked shocked but not in the least ashamed.

“Apparently, I’m hunting you down.” She turned her finger to the half-naked girl bumping and grinding. “And you’re watching Marty get a lap dance.”

Tucker shook his head. “She hasn’t got to the lap dance part yet. That never happens until she strips to her G-string.” He said it like it didn’t even occur to him to be embarrassed that he knew that kind of information.

While she’d been out getting a ticket and acting a little impulsive, he’d been having a beer and watching a half-naked girl. Now… Now she was starting to feel a little crazy around the edges. “If you can drag yourself away from the sight of that stripper’s butt, I’d like to have a few words with you. Outside?”

“Sure.” He started through the small crowd of men and she slipped her hand into his. He looked back into her eyes and gave her hand a little squeeze that she felt in her heart. They moved down a short hall out the back door. A wooden deck had been built on the back of the bar, but this time of year it was empty.

Lily stopped next to a table turned on its side. She took a deep breath, past the big lump in her throat. Overhead light shined down on them, but his face gave nothing away.

She had to jump in now. All the way. “I love you, Tucker. I love you and I want to be with you.” She swallowed hard and lowered her gaze to the dip in his throat. “You were honest with me and told me about your past and who you are, but I haven’t told you about me.” She shook her head and got the rest out in a rush of words. “Everyone thinks I’m crazy. I admit I’ve done a few crazy things in my past. Things that it took me a long time to live down, and I’m afraid once you know, you’ll leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He put a finger beneath her chin and raised her gaze to his. “I know who you are, Lily. I know all about you. I know you were one tick away from being 5150’d for driving your car into your ex’s house. I know that you were knocked flat by him, but you pulled yourself up and made a success of yourself. You should be proud of yourself for that.

“I know that you love your son and the first time I saw you with Pippen, I saw how much you love him. You said you’d kill for him, and I knew that I wanted to love and be loved like that.”