Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but Howard beat her to it.
“Amy’s right, Rachel. I’ve always told you we’d be great together. You really ought to give me a chance.” And true to form, he walked two fingers up her arm.
She squirmed away.
“Howard?” Vaughn said, coming around the table, his hands in tight fists. “It’s time for you to leave.”
Rachel glared at Vaughn, trying to make her eyes say Stand down, I’ve got this but Vaughn’s narrowed stare never wavered from Howard.
“I’m afraid Vaughn’s right,” she said. “You’re a very nice man”—skeevy as all get-out, but relatively harmless—“nonetheless, my answer’s still no.” She grabbed the pie from Jenna and shoved it into Howard’s hands. “Here, take a pie for your trouble.”
Without missing a beat, he set the pie on the table and groped for her hand.
Rachel jerked it out of range and tried to scoot backward, but Howard wasn’t so easily deterred. Lunging, he grabbed a firm hold of her hips.
Vaughn sprang into action. In a clatter of movement and noise, he wrenched Howard away from her, torquing his arm into a deadlock as he pressed Howard’s face onto the table. “You touch her again and I’m going to kick your ass all the way to Texas.”
The storm in Vaughn’s eyes made Rachel’s heart stop.
The collective gasps from the room seemed to suck all the air from the space. Rachel felt every bewildered stare like a heavy weight, pressing on her. Like that day in John Justin’s while the world fell apart around her, she wanted to run as fast and as far as her legs would take her. She stared at the kitchen door, willing her legs to move.
Still holding Howard’s face to the table, Vaughn met Rachel’s eyes from over Howard’s bent back. The murderous rage in his expression was fading, replaced by regret. He looked at Howard, blinking as though suddenly realizing what he’d done, and let go of him. “Rachel, I see you eying the exit, but please don’t leave.”
She cast him an incredulous look. He could ask that of her all he wanted, but the minute she figured out how to unfreeze herself, she was out of there.
Howard made a big show of brushing himself off and muttering about police being above the law.
Ignoring the rant, Vaughn looked around until his eyes landed on Kellan. “K, would you mind helping Howard to his car?”
His spine stiff with indignity, Howard looked down his nose at Rachel. “No need. I think I’m done here.” Then he seized up the pie and marched in the direction of the kitchen. Kellan held the door and followed him out.
With Howard gone, Rachel stood face-to-face with Vaughn. He kept his eyes on her as he slid his fingers from her upper arm to her hand. She thought about pulling away, so foreign was the idea of him touching her in front of others, but she could barely breathe, much less move. He covered her hand with his and squeezed. “I’m sorry I lost my head. I really, really don’t like that guy.”
“Me, neither,” she managed to push out of her lungs.
“I’m ready for one of you to tell me what’s going on,” Amy said. Rachel turned her way. She was motioning to Rachel and Vaughn’s joined hands.
Lisa stood next to Amy. “That makes two of us.”
For the millionth time that afternoon, Rachel was at a loss for words.
Vaughn’s grip on her hand tightened. He turned his face to Amy and Lisa. “I’ll explain.”
A chill wracked Rachel’s body. She squeezed her free hand around her middle. “Don’t. Please.”
He returned his gaze to her and cupped her cheek, stroking her skin with his thumb. “This is the only way I can see to wipe the slate clean and start over. The secrecy wasn’t working. We’ve both told too many lies to ourselves and to our friends and family to move forward. It’s time we stop beatin’ the devil around the bush and tell the truth.”
Determination was set like stone on his face. He was going to announce their secrets to everyone and there was nothing she could do to stop him. Her eyes slid to the door again. She watched Kellan walk across the room to stand by Amy, his arm around her waist.
Vaughn adjusted his hand on Rachel’s chin and urged her focus back to him. He spoke while looking into her eyes. “Amy, the truth is, a year and a half ago, when Rachel was fresh with grief over losing your dad, I took advantage of her. It was the second worst mistake I’ve ever made.” He lifted her hand and pressed it to his heart. “I am so sorry I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable like that.”
The only thing worse than him spilling the intimate details of their time together was the way he was giving everyone a gross misrepresentation of what happened. The least he could do was paint an accurate picture. “You didn’t take advantage of me. That makes it sound like I didn’t meet you halfway.”
His features relaxed a shade, but beneath her palm, his heart was racing. “It was still my fault. I set the tone of secrecy and lies. All I had to do was wait until the investigation concluded, but I didn’t. And I know now that I sabotaged what we had on purpose because I was scared of the connection we had. I was scared of not measuring up to be the man you deserved. You were absolutely right to break things off with me after your mom overdosed, and I’m grateful you had the strength of will to do the right thing for both of us. But, like I said, that was my second worst mistake. I made my biggest mistake after the investigation closed the next week. I should’ve told you what you meant to me. I should have fought for you—for us—but I didn’t.”
“What’s he talking about, Rach?” Amy asked. “You two were seeing each other in secret after Dad died?”
Rachel looked at Amy. “Yes.”
“Tell them where you were the night your mom overdosed,” Vaughn said. “Get it out in the open, Rachel. No more lies.”
Even though it was the hardest thing in the world, she knew he was right. Coming clean about their relationship had already made her feel lighter. Scared, but healed. “The night Mom overdosed, I wasn’t home, like I led you to believe. I was at Vaughn’s house. I left her unsupervised, and for the longest time, I blamed myself for what she did.
“But this week, I realized that even if I’d been here, I still wouldn’t have been able to stop her. None of us could’ve prevented what she had her mind set on doing. I’m finally finding my peace with it, but there’s no excuse for the lies I told you. I already apologized to Jenna, and I planned to sit down with you tonight and talk it out. I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest with you, Amy.”
Amy blinked and looked at the ground. Kellan kissed the top of her head, and Jenna slid her arm around Amy’s waist.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad, just sad that you didn’t think you could talk to us,” Amy said. “You’re right, you know. There wasn’t anything any of us could do—about Mom’s or Dad’s choices. I wish you would’ve let us know what you were going through so we could’ve been there for you.”
Rachel nodded. “I was ashamed that I’d been . . . weak, with Vaughn. All I ever wanted to do was protect you two from the world. I worked so hard at it, and then I went and caused this terrible thing to happen.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve done a great job taking care of us,” Jenna said. “The best. But I think Amy will agree with me that it’s time for you to take care of yourself.”
Amy nodded. “Jenna’s right. We want you to be happy. That’s why we hired Ben. And why I was trying to set you up on a date.”
Jenna pinched the bridge of her nose. “Good Lord, what a disaster. That didn’t turn out like I expected at all.”
Vaughn scowled at Jenna. “Don’t get me started.” He released Rachel’s hand and took her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. A hundred different emotions flashed over his face—repentance, hope—love. “All this time, you were right not to trust yourself to lean on me. I never came through for you when the going got tough. I never made you my first priority.
“But all I want, more than anything, is to have the chance to prove to you I’ve changed. That I can be a better man—for you. I’m going to do everything in my power, for as long as it takes, to prove that I love you and you have nothing to fear. Then, when you’re ready, I’m going to court you properly. Like I should have done in the first place. Will you give me that chance? Can you forgive me?”
Rachel’s head was spinning so fast that she pressed her palms to her temples to slow it down. She had to think clearly, had to find the right words, but he was waiting and everyone was listening, and all she could think to say was, “You ate berry pie for me.”
He let out a nervous, dry laugh and pulled her into an embrace, resting his forehead against hers. “I’d eat broccoli for you, if that’s what it took to prove I’ve changed.”
She stroked his cheek. “I would never make you do that.”
Heads touching, they breathed into each other, so close and intimate that the room beyond them disappeared. She held his cheeks in her hands as he worked his fingers through the hairs at the nape of her neck.
“Yesterday, I recused myself from all the different cases involving you. And Wallace Meyer and I have reached a new understanding, so there’s no chance he’ll give us trouble about the evidence I collected or bring up a civil suit against you for shooting Junior. You don’t have anything to concern yourself with from here on out except your happiness, and that’s all I’m going to focus on too. Tell me what you want—anything—and I’ll make it happen for you.”
Since Vaughn walked up her porch steps sixteen months earlier, her dreams for herself had shifted, but some fundamental parts would never change. “I want to plant alfalfa.”
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