At this thought, my stomach flips so hard I almost feel sick, and very quickly I take another sip of wine. Well, a gulp, really. Then I put down my glass, count to five, and say casually, “Thanks for your card, by the way.”
“What?” he says, looking up. “Oh, you’re welcome.” He reaches for his glass and takes a sip of wine. “It was nice to bump into you that night.”
“It’s a great place,” I say. “Great for table-hopping.”
As soon as I’ve said this, I feel myself blush. But Luke just smiles and says, “Indeed.” Then he puts down his glass and says, “Do you know what you want?”
“Ahm. .” I say, glancing hurriedly at the menu. “I think I’ll just have. . erm. . fish cakes. And rocket salad.”
Damn, I’ve just spotted squid. I should have had that. Oh well, too late now.
“Good choice,” says Luke, smiling at me. “And thanks again for coming along today. It’s always good to have a second opinion.”
“No problem,” I say lightly, and take a sip of wine. “Hope you enjoy the case.”
“Oh, it’s not for me,” he says after a pause. “It’s for Sacha.”
“Oh, right,” I say pleasantly. “Who’s Sacha? Your sister?”
“My girlfriend,” says Luke, and turns away to beckon to a waiter.
And I stare at him, unable to move.
His girlfriend. I’ve been helping him choose a suitcase for his girlfriend.
Suddenly I don’t feel hungry anymore. I don’t want fish cakes and rocket salad. I don’t even want to be here. My happy glow is fading away, and underneath I feel chilly and rather stupid. Luke Brandon’s got a girlfriend. Of course he has. Some beautiful smart girl called Sacha, who has manicured nails and travels everywhere with expensive cases. I’m a fool, aren’t I? I should have known there’d be a Sacha somewhere on the scene. I mean, it’s obvious.
Except. . Except it’s not that obvious. In fact, it’s not obvious at all. Luke hasn’t mentioned his girlfriend all morning. Why hasn’t he? Why didn’t he just say the suitcase was for her in the first place? Why did he let me sit on the floor beside him in Harrods and laugh as I marched up and down, testing the wheels? I wouldn’t have behaved anything like that if I’d known we were buying a case for his girlfriend. And he must have known that. He must have known.
A cold feeling begins to creep over me. This is all wrong.
“All right?” says Luke, turning back to me.
“No,” I hear myself saying. “No, it’s not. You didn’t tell me that case was for your girlfriend. You didn’t even tell me you had a girlfriend.”
Oh God. I’ve done it now. I’ve been completely uncool. But somehow I don’t care.
“I see,” says Luke after a pause. He picks up a piece of bread and begins to break it up with his fingers, then looks up. “Sacha and I have been together awhile now,” he says kindly. “I’m sorry if I gave. . any other impression.”
He’s patronizing me. I can’t bear it.
“That’s not the point,” I say, feeling my cheeks flushing beet red. “It’s just. . it’s all wrong.”
“Wrong?” he says, looking amused.
“You should have told me we were choosing a case for your girlfriend,” I say doggedly, staring down at the table. “It would have made things. . different.”
There’s silence and I raise my eyes, to see Luke looking at me as though I’m crazy.
“Rebecca,” he says, “you’re getting this all out of proportion. I wanted your opinion on suitcases. End of story.”
“And are you going to tell your girlfriend you asked my advice?”
“Of course I am!” says Luke, and gives a little laugh. “I expect she’ll be rather amused.”
I stare at him in silence, feeling mortification creep over me. My throat’s tight, and there’s a pain growing in my chest. Amused. Sacha will be amused when she hears about me.
Well, of course she will. Who wouldn’t be amused by hearing about the girl who spent her entire morning testing out suitcases for another woman? The girl who got completely the wrong end of the stick. The girl who was so stupid, she thought Luke Brandon might actually like her.
I swallow hard, feeling sick with humiliation. For the first time, I’m realizing how Luke Brandon sees me. How they all see me. I’m just the comedy turn, aren’t I? I’m the scatty girl who gets things wrong and makes people laugh. The girl who didn’t know SBG and Rutland Bank had merged. The girl no one would ever think of taking seriously. Luke didn’t bother telling me we were choosing a suitcase for his girlfriend because I don’t matter. He’s only buying me lunch because he hasn’t got anything else to do — and probably because he thinks I might do something entertaining like drop my fork, which he can laugh about when he gets back to the office.
“I’m sorry,” I say in a wobbly voice, and stand up. “I haven’t got time for lunch after all.”
“Rebecca, don’t be silly!” says Luke. “Look, I’m sorry you didn’t know about my girlfriend.” He raises his eyebrows quizzically, and I almost want to hit him. “But we can still be friends, can’t we?”
“No,” I say stiffly, aware that my voice is thick and my eyes smarting. “No, we can’t. Friends treat each other with respect. But you don’t respect me, do you, Luke? You just think I’m a joke. A nothing. Well. .” I swallow hard. “Well, I’m not.”
And before he can say anything else I turn and quickly make my way out of the restaurant, half blinded by disappointed tears.
PGNI FIRST BANK VISA 7 Camel Square
Liverpool L1 5NP
Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood
Flat 24 Burney Rd.London SW6 8FD
15 March 2000
Dear Ms. Bloomwood: PGNI First Bank VISA Card No. 1475839204847586 Thank you for your payment of £10.00, received on 13 March.As I have pointed out several times, the minimum payment required was in fact £105.40.The balance currently overdue is therefore £95.40. I look forward to receiving your payment as soon as possible.If satisfactory payment is not received within seven days, further action will have to be taken.Yours sincerely,Peter Johnson Customer Accounts Executive
BANK OF LONDON
London House, Mill Street, EC3R 4DW
Ms. Rebecca Boomwood
Flat 24 Burney Rd.London SW6 8FD
18 March 2000
Dear Ms. Boomwood: Just think. .What kind of difference would a personal loan make to your life?A new car, perhaps. Improvements to the home. A boat for those weekend breaks. Or maybe just the peace of mind, knowing that all those bills can easily be taken care of.Bank of London will offer loans for almost any purpose — so don’t wait any longer! Turn your life into the lifestyle you deserve.With a Bank of London Easifone Loan, you don’t even have to fill in any forms. Simply call one of our friendly 24-hour operators on 0100 45 46 47 48 and let us do the rest.Just think. .We look forward to hearing from you.Yours sincerely,Sue Skepper Marketing Executive
P.S. Why delay? Pick up the phone now and dial 0100 45 46 4748. It couldn’t be easier!
Twelve
I ARRIVE HOME THAT afternoon, feeling weary and miserable. Suddenly, triple-A-rated jobs in banking and Harrods with Luke Brandon seem miles away. Real life isn’t swanning round Knightsbridge in a taxi, choosing £1,000 suitcases, is it? This is real life. Home to a tiny flat which still smells of curry, and a pile of nasty letters from the bank, and no idea what to do about them.
I put my key in the lock, and as I open the door, I hear Suze cry, “Bex? Is that you?”
“Yes!” I say, trying to sound cheerful. “Where are you?”
“Here,” she says, appearing at the door of my bedroom. Her face is all pink, and there’s a shine in her eyes. “Guess what! I’ve got a surprise for you!”
“What is it?” I say, putting down my briefcase. To be honest, I’m not in the mood for one of Suze’s surprises. She’ll just have moved my bed to a different place, or something. And all I want is to sit down and have a cup of tea and something to eat. I never did get any lunch.
“Come and see. No, no, shut your eyes, first. I’ll lead you.”
“OK,” I say reluctantly. I close my eyes and allow her to take my hand. We start to walk along the corridor — and of course, as we near my bedroom door, I start feeling a little tingle of anticipation in spite of myself. I always fall for things like this.
“Da-daaa! You can look now!”
I open my eyes and look dazedly around my room, wondering what mad thing Suze has done. At least she hasn’t painted the walls or touched the curtains, and my computer’s safely switched off. So what on earth can she have. .
And then I see them. On my bed. Piles and piles of upholstered frames. All made up perfectly, with no wonky corners, and the braid glued neatly in place. I can’t quite believe my eyes. There must be at least. .
“I’ve done a hundred,” says Suze behind me. “And I’m going to do the rest tomorrow! Aren’t they fab?”
I turn and stare incredulously at her. “You. . you did all these?”
“Yes!” she says proudly. “It was easy, once I got into a rhythm. I did it in front of Morning Coffee. Oh, I wish you’d seen it. They had such a good phone-in, about men who dress up in women’s clothes! Emma was being all sympathetic, but Rory looked like he wanted to—”
“Wait,” I say, trying to get my head round this. “Wait. Suze, I don’t understand. This must have taken you ages.” My eye runs disbelievingly over the pile of frames again. “Why. . why on earth did you—”
“Well, you weren’t getting very far with them, were you?” says Suze. “I just thought I’d give you a helping hand.”
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