“So what’s the deal? What happened to you?”

“We were running that mountain trail towards the back of base and at the end of the run, I started cramping. I told Staff Sergeant Rappert that I just needed to stretch and go to the bathroom, and when I did, I was spotting.”

“None of them knows about the pregnancy?”

“No, it’s none of their business.”

“They are going to find out, Cassie. Might as well tell them. You need to chill out and take care of little Alex in there.”

An icy chill crept up my spine as I thought about Alex. I’d tried to tell him, but he was forced off the phone and I never got the words out. He’d made mention of kids before, but neither of us expected them this soon, and I wasn’t sure a child was best for us right now with everything that was happening. My mind played out scenarios of me telling him, his reaction to it, and my reaction to him. None of it was good, and fear came crawling back in, making me wish that I could avoid it altogether.

“I don’t think I can tell him, Dalton. We’ve just gotten back on solid ground.”

Dalton’s blue eyes turned stone cold, zeroing in on me. “Cassie, you better get that shit out of your head right now. Good or bad timing, this is your baby. A baby you two made together.”

Dalton’s concern finally hit me, shocking me a bit.

“Do you think? Wait! I would never do that, Dalton.”

His face relaxed as my words placated him. The icy stare he glared my way warmed with my words, and he took my hand, rubbing the top affectionately.

“I just know you’re scared and confused, so I wasn’t sure what was running through your head.”

“Well, rest assured. That was not.”

After what felt like forever, the nurse returned back to my room, and informed me that the cramping and spotting were absolutely normal. It was music to ears. The fear of Alex’s unhinged reaction to the news was still in the back of my mind, but I told myself I’d deal with his lunacy when the time came, and right now, just wasn’t that time.

I went to work the next day, claiming exhaustion and nothing more, then spent my night dodging my mother’s phone calls. She didn’t understand that when I said I was done with her, I really was done with her. I could have taken her calls, but her verbal lashings every time she got me on the phone with her was too much to bear, and right now, with everything that I had going on in my life, I just didn’t want to put myself through the unnecessary misery.

Dalton came over with food and movies, forcing himself to watch the likes of Mean Girls and the old school Babysitters Club Movie per my request. He hated them, but said if it meant spending time with me, he was all for it. Ben had altogether stopped talking to him, and things between him and Johnson had gone sour in a hurry. Dalton spent as little time in their shared room as possible, hoping and praying that his request for a new room would be approved sooner rather than later.

“Have you heard from Alex?”

“Nope, the last time I spoke to him he was rushed off of the phone. It was crazy, so I know something was up.”

“You aren’t still torturing yourself with the news, are you? You know they don’t report anything good.”

“I try not to, but it’s hard when everywhere you turn, Marines are dying around us. I never want that to be Alex.”

“Of course you don’t. But watching that shit fest on the news isn’t going to change things one way or another. Stop watching it. It’ll drive a sane person crazy, and you aren’t exactly sane.”

I hit his shoulder, then stood to make my way to the bathroom since the nausea had started to settle in.

“Hey!” Dalton called out. “You have a call from a four-eight-oh area code.”

“Hit ignore. It’s my mom, and I don’t want to speak to her.” I walked out of the bathroom.

“It’s not your mom. No name popped up here.”

“She’s probably just calling from a different number so I’ll answer the phone. I’m onto her shit, Dalton. Just hit ignore.”

He did, then got a call on his phone that made him jump up with excitement. “I’ll be back. It’s the barrack’s manager. Hopefully they are assigning me to my new room.”

“Enjoy. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He hurried out of the room, looking like he’d just struck it rich.

My voicemail chime went off. My mom had stopped leaving voicemails, so I decided to listen and was pleasantly surprised to hear one of my only friend’s from back home, Taylor, on the other end.

I immediately called her back, excited to hear from her. She had gone on a trip of self-discovery through the Alaskan wilderness and hadn’t had much contact with anyone during that time. She talked about meeting some fisherman up there, and her plans to uproot from the desert to the mountains, moving in with him and getting married. She’d spent six months up there and found out she was pregnant towards the end of her voyage, and couldn’t have been more thrilled about it. Her excitement prompted me to share my news, making her the first person outside of Dalton who knew about my pregnancy.

When I got off of the phone with Taylor, the nausea came roaring back, sending me running for the bathroom. I was beginning to hate life. With my first pregnancy, I hadn’t gone through this, and I was beginning to question why I was being subjected to it now.

Dalton returned, looking pissed off.

“What happened?” I managed to say, making my way back into my bed.

“They denied it. Said getting into a relationship with my roommate was no reason to move rooms. Basically, they don’t give a shit.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Anyway, are you okay? You don’t look good.”

“Just throwing my life up. I hate this shit. I’m even having a hard time keeping water down.”

“Keep your legs closed, and this won’t happen,” Dalton joked, prompting me to flash him a death stare.

My phone rang again, this time Adriana’s name popping up on the phone. My heart immediately sank as thoughts of my worst nightmare come true, but before I could answer the phone, tears sprang to my eyes, leaving me a complete mess. Dalton’s face contorted with confusion and concern. He grabbed my phone and answered it.

“Hello… wait… stop crying, I can’t understand you. What happened?”

Dalton’s words took a piece of me with every syllable spoken. Adriana was calling with the news I never wanted to hear, and I jumped from the bed and barely made it to the bathroom before what little was left in my stomach came violently erupting into the toilet bowl. Dalton was right behind me, holding my hair and rubbing my back as Adriana’s shrieking voice continued to fill the phone receiver. I couldn’t make out her words, but her voice was enough to send a fresh wave of panic over me, and another round of vomit into the bowl.

“Hold on, Adriana. I’ll have Cassie call you back.” He hung up the phone and helped me back to my bed. Fear shrouded every inch of me as I awaited the dreaded words that I knew he didn’t want to say. “Cassie…listen to me. Alex is fine…”

Alex is fine. My breathing finally settled, and the tears slowed dramatically.

“Alex’s mom is in the hospital, and it’s not looking good. Adriana wants you to go down there.”

“What? What happened to her?”

My heart broke and the tears came raging back. Imelda was Alex’s heart and soul. He loved her so much it hurt, and to know that he was close to losing her was probably the worst news that he could ever hear. My eyes burned and my throat went dry from the tears. How in the hell was I going to make the long drive from Twentynine to Orange County? The daunting task seemed near impossible as I began dry heaving, my stomach roiling with the turmoil of what Adriana was going through and what Alex would become if he lost his mom.

“I’ll take you down. I’m not letting you drive like this.”

“Dalton, I don’t know…”

“Cassie, shut up! Seriously! Stop overthinking everything and let’s go. That is your child’s grandmother. You need to be there.”

Without another word, Dalton swept me off of my feet, grabbed my cell phone, keys, and wallet, and carried me down to the truck. I was too weak to speak, too scared to think about what had happened, and afraid to hear the confirmation. My heart, the same heart that had broken so many times before, felt like it was beyond repair.

We drove the long, arduous drive in a stale silence. Dalton didn’t say much, and I didn’t prod. Whatever had happened to Imelda was sure to be life shattering, and I wasn’t ready to face head on.

Not yet.

++++

The lights of the Irvine Medical Hospital shined brightly as Dalton pulled in to the parking stall. I sent a quick text to Adriana, letting her know that we had made it. Upon entering the hospital, Adriana rushed towards us, throwing her arms around me and crying incessantly, prompting tears to leave my eyes as well.

“What’s going on, Adriana? What happened?”

Her sobs were uncontrollable, so I held her tighter as the elevator ascended, all the while fighting the nausea that was slowly threatening to send me barreling towards a bathroom. When the door chimed and opened, there was a hallway full of family, all displaying bloodshot eyes as the tears trickled down their faces. The mere sight made me utterly sick with grief, knowing that Alex was halfway across the world when his mother was in dire straits. Danny rolled over in his wheelchair, taking Adriana by the hand and pulling her down onto his lap.

“Hi, Cassie,” he greeted behind a still sobbing Adriana. “Thanks for coming. Imelda wanted you here.”