C. Brown - Compromising

“We’ll get to him in a minute. But Cassie, I need to ask you some questions. Did you eat anything at this party? Or even before it?”

“No,” I mumbled, utterly confused at what this had to do with anything.

“How much of that punch did you have?”

“Just one cup. It was a full cup, but only one.”

“Okay.”

“How much is in my system? How long as I going to be here?”

“You weren’t drugged at all, Cassie. You’re pregnant, and the effects of drinking with no food on your stomach and apparently very little water caused your body to break down.”

The rest of her words fell on deaf ears. She continued explaining things, but as her mouth moved, her words dissipated into thin air like particles of water. She hadn’t just said what she’d just said. There was no way what she was telling me was true, and even if it were true, I couldn’t believe what she had just told me.

“Cassie…Cassie,” she called out. I turned and looked her in the face, my eyes bloodshot and burning. “We’ll have the OB come in and see you. He’ll go over what steps you need to take next. Congratulations.”

I looked over to Dalton and burst into tears, followed by the violent eruption of another round of putrid vomiting. My mind raced with how this had happened, what Alex’s reaction to it would be, and how I would ever gather up the courage to tell him.

The more I thought, the sicker I became. Dalton did everything in his power to try and calm me down, which did nothing for me. Three nurses and the doctor filed into the room, each of them hurriedly moving to take a task in trying to stabilize me. Dalton held my hand, never letting go as pills were placed into my mouth and forced down my throat with a long gulp of water and the massaging of one of the nurse’s hands. Fans were placed in my direction and turned on while my blankets were changed over me. The doctor began talking, and the room started spinning, making me fling my head back against the pillow, praying that it would stop and the nausea that accompanied it would go away. This was my worst nightmare come true, and the person who I wanted most was the same person that I wholeheartedly feared.

The inner turmoil of having such conflicting emotions led me to break down emotionally and I laid in the bed, attempting to listen to the doctor speak to me as tears rushed down my face.

“We’ll just give you a moment, Pfc. Bennett,” the doctor said before leaving Dalton and I alone.

He stared at me with concern etched into his face, his big blue eyes begging me to speak, but I couldn’t make out the words. The tears slowed, but my breathing was still erratic. Pregnant? The word was terrifying, so much so that I couldn’t bring myself to speak it. I had been here before. Pregnant by someone who I loved, but unmarried and unsure of the fallout that was to come. I felt stupid and low, painfully aware that history was repeating itself, and I was allowing it to happen.

“I have no idea why you’re so distraught. You are going to have a beautiful baby with the love of your life. And if it’s the alcohol, I’m sure you’re fine. It’s early.”

I regained my composure, then finally brought myself to speak. “Dalton, it’s not that simple.”

“What’s not? You’ve said yourself that Alex wants babies with you. Well, here you go.”

My eyes burned as tears threatened to spill out again. “We speak in future terms all of the time. I highly doubt he meant right now. I sure as hell didn’t. I’m unmarried and pregnant. This is not what I had planned for myself.”

“So get married. It’s not like you two weren’t planning on getting married anyway. And besides, if you two weren’t stubborn as hell, you’d be married right now.”

Silence fell over the room as I took in Dalton’s words. I understood his standpoint but still felt uneasy about the situation. The facts were the facts: Alex was gone, we weren’t married, I hadn’t been drugged, and I was indeed, pregnant.

My head began to spin as I came to grips with my reality. Fear gripped me and held me down, never allowing my mind to travel to the possibility that Alex would be thrilled by this. I couldn’t get there. We had plans for a family, but not this soon in our lives, and knowing that things would irrevocably change for us was another step into the unknown. The unknown held greater powers that any other entity in our lives. It was big, dark, and terrifying. It had me in its clutches and wouldn’t let me go.

No matter what Dalton said, I couldn’t find my way out of it.

“Hey, Ben just texted me. Johnson just has alcohol poisoning, no drugs. Thought you’d be happy to hear that.”

I forced a smile, the pain of it not allowing my face to stay in that form for too long. “I’m happy to hear that.”

Dalton sat down on the bed next to me and held my head to his chest as he rubbed the back of my head. “Cassie, it’s scary right now because you’re allowing your mind to go to the negative. Think about the positive. You and Alex, creating life is awesome.”

“I wish I could be so optimistic.”

“You can, and you will. Just stick with me. I’ll help you get there.” Dalton pulled away, kissed my forehead, then stared into my eyes.

“We are a lovely pair, aren’t we?” I asked, finally allowing a bit of humor to filter through in my voice. “The knocked-up girl, and her man-whore best friend. Like peanut butter and jelly.”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

Laughter burst from my body, shocking us both. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was a crying mess, and the next I was unable to contain my amusement. It was a strange place to be in.

“Seriously, what are you going to do about Ben and Johnson?”

Dalton exhaled harshly, running his fingers through his hair. “I really don’t know. I like them both.”

“You can’t have both, Dalton. You know that.”

“I know. I just have no clue what to do about it.”

“My love life is a fucking roller coaster, so I really don’t know what to tell you, but make a choice before you get in too deep.”

A light knock on the door gave way to Ben slowly creeping inside. “Hi, Cassie. How are you feeling?”

Ben was adorable. He stood a good four or five inches shorter than Dalton, but had a firm physique, and the same illuminating blue eyes that Dalton had. He was soft-spoken but confident, and I could see why Dalton liked him.

“I’ve been better, but thanks for asking,” I replied, smiling to put him at ease.

Ben returned my smile, then turned to Dalton, looking a bit more serious. “Can I talk to you outside?”

Dalton nodded, then stood and followed Ben out of the room. They didn’t go far. I could see them from my bed—hands flying, shaking heads, Dalton’s stern face.

Both guys calmly walked back into the room, and Ben gave me a hug before wishing me well, then turned to Dalton.

“I’ll be at the hotel. Call me in the morning.”

“I will,” Dalton somberly replied.

My heart ached for both of them. They obviously cared for one another, but Johnson was a sticking point, and rightfully so.

Ben walked out of the room, and Dalton plopped down in the chair next to my bed. He ran his hands through his hair again and sighed loudly. “Looks like we’re both alone and scared, doll.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re knocked up, and I’m a man-whore,” he sarcastically remarked, smiling at me.

His words brought my reality gushing back to the surface, smacking me in the face with the fact that I was indeed knocked up, and I had a hot-headed, temperamental boyfriend to spill the beans to. I took Dalton’s hand and kissed the top, then laid it down on the bed. “Peanut butter and jelly,” I softly said.

“Spaghetti and meatballs,” he chimed in.

We fell asleep in that position, our hands held tightly together. We were both afraid and vulnerable, but being in the company of one another allowed those feelings to dissipate, and the comfort that we seemed to bring one another was more than enough to whisk us away to a pleasant sleep.

A sleep that I desperately needed.

Shit was only getting worse the longer that I was stuck in this hell hole of a desert. I’d had little to no contact with Cassie, and it was beginning to make me lose what little self-control that I had. The kidnapped American contractors were found—beheaded with their bodies lying in an open grass field with their heads not far away. A group of kids found the bodies while playing soccer, located the Marines in the area, and the search for the men was called off.

Sleep was hard to come by. Mortar shells pummeled the base almost every single night, leaving us on high alert with little to no rest. Luckily, the guys shooting were wholly inaccurate, leaving us more flustered and frustrated than anything else. LCpl. Avery was still a nervous little fucker, but he was doing much better since the night I’d had to damn near threaten his life if he ever discounted another one of ours.

Not everything was shit on a stick with a black cloud hovering above it. LCpl. White received mail with pictures of his pregnant wife showing off their child growing inside of her. He teared up at the sight, making me realize that as badly as I wanted to move on with my life with Cassie, I didn’t want to bring a kid into the mix until I was out. This life we led was too much, and with two active duty parents, our kid wouldn’t stand a chance.

Cpl. Vega revealed that he had a girlfriend, and she was moving to Twentynine. She was finding a place to stay that they would be able to call home. In this fucking wasteland that we were calling home for the next few months, any bit of good news from home was enough to put a smile on our faces. Other than that, there really wasn’t much to smile about.