“These seem to be in the way,” he commented in a rather condescending manner.

I wanted to rip them off for him and allow him to follow through with whatever plan it was that he had for me, but a glimpse into our previous encounters hit me like lightening, sending the fear of rejection coursing through me. I stopped him, wide eyed and breathing heavily, afraid of what might happen next. As badly as I wanted him, I had been sexually shunned by him and it had taken a toll on me.

“Alex, I can’t handle this,” I breathed, trying to gain control of myself.

His eyes darkened as he took in my flustered state, and he smiled, confusing me much like he always did. “Can’t handle what? I’d say you were handling things just fine.”

“You know what I mean, Alex,” I said, motioning down to where his hand rested inside the hem of my pants.

That cavalier smile that he possessed came back, and he worked his hands further into my pants and began tugging them downward. “Baby steps, Blondie. I’ve asked you to bear with me. I’m working on it… baby steps.”

Alex was certainly an enigma, but I didn’t have long to think about it before he was off the bed of the truck and pulling my pants down. A spark went off in his eyes and his smile turned sinister.

“Either this is for me, or I need to fucking kill someone,” he growled.

“Just wanted to be free.”

“I can fucking see that,” he quickly retorted, looking down at the nakedness between my legs.

Alex grabbed firmly onto my thighs as he dropped to his knees, kissed his way up my legs, over and around my thighs, then stopped at my core. One hand worked underneath me and squeezed my ass as he continued to breathe into me. I needed him badly, but I wanted to let him work his way through it. If we were going to move forward, this was going to be a big part of that process.

Tingles went off inside of me as I placed my fingers on my clit and began massaging. A light moan escaped me, catching Alex’s attention. He pulled my hand away, kissing it as he placed it back down beside me.

“Baby steps, Blondie. My baby steps,” he whispered, then replaced my fingers over my clit with his own and rubbed, sending my body into an instant state of euphoria.

His fingers gently circled my clit, just enough to leave me speechless while only allowing lustful breaths to leave my body. I could feel the build-up coming when the distinct feel of a wet finger slipped into me, followed by another, and my body curled up beneath him.

“You’re so fucking wet, Blondie. I can’t wait to slurp you up.”

His fingers continued to work in and out, moving a tortuously slow pace that left me near tears as the need to come all over him was beginning to torture my soul. His fingers worked my core while his thumb continued the massage of my clit. My body had been deprived for far too long, and the feel of what Alex was doing to it was beginning to make me come undone.

“You better not come,” he warned. “I’ll punish that ass if you do.”

His words sent a chill down my spine. I knew he would make good on the threat, but a part of me almost wanted to test it just to see how far and how creative he would get with his punishment. My mind didn’t have much time to process the thoughts as the thickness of Alex’s tongue invaded my core, sending me jolting as he continued to hold me down firmly.

Soft, strokes of his tongues filled me as his thumb continued to caress my clit. Those earlier tingles now turned into sharp bursts as they went off inside of me. I could feel the orgasm beginning to rise, and my legs went numb as Alex picked up the pace.

Slurping and lapping.

Twisting and turning.

Sucking and tugging.

My body began to convulse violently as thick, creamy spurts erupted from inside of me and onto Alex. He continued to lick, suck, and rub away until he milked me dry.

I stared at the star-filled night sky as I tried to catch my breath and bring feeling back into my lower extremities. He slowed his movements, took a couple more sucks, then stood from his position.

“Are you okay with baby steps?” he asked, smiling at me as he licked the remnants of me away. “I won’t do it again if you don’t want me to.”

I smiled back. The sated feeling overtook me, and I relished it, even if it was only his tongue and fingers instead of his cock.

“I like the idea of baby steps because I’ll get to enjoy getting to know your body all over again,” Alex said. “And you best believe I am going to explore every inch of this treasure.”

He helped me to my feet, then leaned down and pulled my pants back up. I reached behind me for my shirt after clasping my bra, then turned and was surprisingly met with Alex’s warm mouth. He kissed me hard and fierce, extending his tongue deep into my mouth with vigor. He finally pulled away, rubbing the back of his hand over the side of my face.

“It’s been a while. And I thought I would share my favorite taste with you since it’s not something you have access to on your own,” he remarked, smiling while showing off his perfect set of pearly whites. “I want you to stay with me tonight because I’ll be gone all weekend.”

“Gone? Where are you going?”

“I have to go back to Santa Ana. This next week is going to be crazy, and I leave for Iraq next Saturday, so I’m going to spend time with my family before I go.”

I stood quietly, completely understanding, but feeling the sting of our situation once again. Before all of the shit that had crash landed at our feet, there would have been no question about me tagging along. But now…now I was an after-thought, and for good reason, but it didn’t make the blaring realization any less painful.

“You’re quiet. What’s going on in there?” Alex asked, gently poking at my head.

“Nothing. Let’s just go. I’m ready for a warm shower and bed,” I replied, walking back to the passenger side of the truck. Alex stopped me just before I could open the door.

“Cassie, you need to start talking right the fuck now.”

“There’s nothing to say, Alex. Let’s go back to your place so we can get some sleep.”

He stood back, then took me by the hand and led me away from the truck. “We’re not going anywhere until you start talking. I’ll keep us out here all night if I have to.”

I was beginning to fume, but didn’t want to show it. As it was, Alex could already tell that something was wrong, but I didn’t want my pissiness to ruin our perfectly good evening.

“Cassie—”

“Alex, stop. Wake the hell up. Look at what we have become. We’re still hiding, even though we’ve come out. We’ve gone from one dark closet to the other.”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not fucking hiding. We’re out, we have every right to be, and that’s how we’ll continue to be.”

“Oh yeah? Then why am I not going with you?”

His eyes narrowed as he stared into my eyes. “Is this what this is about? You’re mad because I’m going off to see my family without you? Do I need to remind you about the last gathering we all had?”

“No, you don’t!” I shouted, finally allowing the frustration to erupt. “You do not need to remind me of the heinous time I had with your family and what it led to. I just want you to fucking realize that everything isn’t peachy keen or rosy as you want to believe. There is a large part of your life that I have to stay away from, much like when I had to hide out from the Marine Corps, only now it’s your family. This is no way to have a relationship, Alex. That’s all I want you to see.”

A flush of red filled Alex’s normally caramel skin as he pouted his lips before stepping closer to me. His eyes, narrowed and dark, impaled me, leaving me no wriggle room to move away from the storm that was brewing inside of him.

“There isn’t much that you can say to offend me, Cassie, but insinuating that I am hiding you, keeping you away from my family as if I’m afraid or ashamed of you definitely hit the fucking spot. This bullshit with my family is nothing like the Corps, and regardless of what they may think, I’m going to do whatever it is I want to do because that’s who I am and I don’t give two shits about who doesn’t like it.

“You want to know why I’m running off without you as you say? I’m doing it because the last time I had you all in a room, goddamned World War Three almost broke loose. I don’t need any more bullshit before I go and step into a battle zone that I may not return home from. So before you accuse me of trying to hide you, remember that I’m leaving to go and fight in a war, and I don’t need a precursor before I even get there.”

My heart sped with his morbid explanation. Had I become so jaded by everything that I failed to see the severity of what was happening to us? Alex had actually acknowledged the possibility that he wouldn’t make it home from war, and of all of the emotions swirling around in my head at the moment, fear stood out loud and clear. A tear fell down my cheek as I stood, looking into the eyes of the man that I loved but felt so many different emotions for.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” I croaked, my words lodged in my throat.

“I don’t want your apology, Cassie. I want you to wake up and see that you are the most important thing in my life, and your insinuation that I would be hiding you cuts fucking deep. I’m goddamned lucky to have you, and the world needs to know it, but I don’t want to subject you to any more bullshit where my family is concerned.”

“I know. I…I just got caught up in everything.”

“Everything like what?”

He wasn’t going to let this go, and I could tell this was about to open up another can of worms that we really didn’t need right now.