C. Brown - Compromising

“You okay, Cassie?”

“I’m just fine,” I said, holding the tears back.

He rubbed my head and squeezed me tighter. “No, you aren’t, but it’s okay to play tough.”

I pulled back, looking into the sadness of his crystal blue eyes. “I’m fine, Dalton.”

“Okay, doll. You’re fine.”

“What’s your deal?” I asked, violently jerking my body away from his embrace. “I told you I’m fucking fine.”

He pulled me closer, then used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a stray tear that I hadn’t realized had fallen from my eye. He held his wet thumb in front of me.

“I may not be fucking you, Cassie, but I know you better than anyone. You are not fine, and it’s okay not to be.”

His words struck a chord and unleashed the floodgates. I burst into a fit of tears, trying hard to stifle them but failing miserably. “He’s done with me, Dalton. He’s deploying, and he won’t even fucking tell me. How had I not seen this side of him? How did I become just another anybody to him?”

“Shhh,” Dalton soothed, pulling me even closer and rubbing his hands down the back of my head once again. “You are not just another anybody to him. You’ve always seen this side of Alex, but you are in love with him, and sometimes love is fucking blind. Give him some time, he’ll come around.”

“I don’t even know how much time I have.”

“Then you find out. And in the meantime, you stay tough. You’ve been through some rough shit, and you will not allow this to break you.”

I tried to smile, but it hurt. The pain manifesting itself in my heart was now permeating throughout my body. “Love hurts, Dalton. It takes you over, whirls you around, and allows you to freefall. I’m free falling, and the pain of it all is destroying me.”

“Then don’t let it. Be that tough as nails Cassie that I know and love. And if you need my help in the meantime, I’m right here for you, but you will not fall apart for a man. You are not Emmalyn Bennett.”

I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer that I would never become my mother. She was a walking disaster, and when I wasn’t cursing her for being the evil, vindictive woman that she was, I felt bad for her. I had received a barrage of calls from her, but I never returned them. With the amount of shit being shoveled my way lately, I just couldn’t take her, not even in small doses.

“Let’s get you home,” Dalton said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and leading us away from the gym. A couple of tears fell from my eyes as I walked away, feeling like a piece of me would never recover.

Beer, Jager bombs, and more beer filled my night. I was in such a haze that it was hard to remember when I even went to bed. Smith wanted to throw me a party for beating my charges, and with the way I’d been feeling, I was down for anything.

I wanted the alcohol to numb me from the pain of being without Cassie. Deploying would probably be the best thing for me because it would require my undue attention. The last thing I wanted was another deployment where my mind was stuck where it shouldn’t have been, instead of on our mission.

As much as it hurt not having Cassie, I knew that O’Hara had done me the best fucking favor that he could have ever done for me. Getting away would certainly ease the heartache.

I didn’t remember much from the night before, but my phone conversation with Cassie was shining through, crystal clear. I shuddered at the way I had spoken to her, probably making her feel like she meant little to nothing to me. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Let your ego ruin everything for you. I hope it fucks you as well as I did because you’re never going to find anything better.

That statement played over and over in my head until I just couldn’t take it any longer. As badly as I wanted to throw everything to the side, my mind continued to doubt Cassie’s commitment to me. I had laid every fucking thing I had on the line for her, but she didn’t feel the same way. It fucking hurt, but I wasn’t going to let it break me. If she came to me, laying everything out in the open and wanting this relationship as badly as I did, I would take her back in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, all of this inner turmoil was building inside of me, and I had no place to release it. Cassie and I hadn’t had sex since before her attack, so I was beginning to grow a strong set of blue balls, and my frustration level was about to blow through the roof. I wasn’t sure how Allen was still playing on my mind, but every time I got to Cassie in that way, all I could picture were his fingers touching her, caressing her, attacking her…it made me physically ill to the point of violence and the only way to remove that feeling was to remove myself from the trigger. I spent countless nights and restless mornings desperately trying to find a way to deal with it, and move on, but all those thoughts served was more frustration, more anxiety, and hardcore hand job sessions that still didn’t satisfy me the way I needed to be satisfied.

This morning was no exception. Not only was I accosted by the thoughts of Cassie, Allen, and my own shortcomings, but now I was dealing with my display of being a supreme dick to her the night before.

My dick throbbed this morning, more so than it had any other day. I could feel the intense tingles as it stood rigid as stone. I tried moving my legs, hoping that the shift would ease some of the hurt, but it only intensified it and I winced. My hand immediately took hold of it, working it up and down as I tried to take some of the ache away. Nothing seemed to help. I could feel the tension building, working its way through my body, and my chest constricted with each breath as my legs grew heavy with sensation. If I didn’t fucking come soon, I was going to explode in a way that was sure to cause bodily harm.

I moved my hand ferociously, ignoring the pain of the vise-like grip that held onto my aching cock. I was determined to come…to finally relieve some stress. The harder I worked, the longer my release seemed to take. Sweat coated my hands, feet, and face, and my facial muscles contorted as I strained out my efforts, closing my eyes tightly and biting down with tenacity. I took my free hand and gripped the sheets, scrunching them so tightly that I was sure there would be holes in them by the time I was done. I didn’t fucking care. My sole focus was coming, and hoping that the release would take some of my Cassie anxiety along with it.

The room began to get warm. Even with the air conditioner blasting and the ceiling fan spinning above me, my efforts were heating my core. I could feel the ache that had been plaguing my cock, make its way down my legs and up my chest. Heartburn hit me as I continued to stroke, fueling a fire inside of me that left me panting, gasping, and struggling not only to breathe, but also to release. Exactly three strokes later, it finally came. That gut wrenching, tingling sensation, inducing what I had been waiting so long for. My only wish was that I was balls deep inside of Cassie but since I wasn’t, I focused back on the task at hand and grunted out my explosion, sending warm, white cum spurting onto my stomach. Sadly, it didn’t quell my thirst for satisfaction… I felt better, but I was still backed up, and I knew the only way to fix this problem was to dig deep into a pussy and let loose from there.

Now my objective was to find my way back into some pussy.

After showering and dressing, I walked out to the kitchen where Riley and Nat were enjoying one another. He was half way down her throat, hands down her pants, ready to fuck her on the kitchen island. If I hadn’t walked in, that was probably going to be their next move.

“You have a fucking room, man.” I was annoyed that he was getting anything and everything that he wanted, whenever he wanted it. Jealously was an ugly fucking thing, and I had a bad case of it.

“Hey, sorry, man. You all right?”

“I’m good.”

I looked at Nat, who was watching me inquisitively. She had been working so much at the shop that she hadn’t been around our house too often, and last night was the first night in a long time that I had seen her. We hadn’t had any meaningful conversation, and my bad mood was probably more off putting to her.

“Hey, Nat…I haven’t told you, but I’m really sorry for the shit I said to you. I was wrong and out of line.”

She straightened up, making herself presentable since Dalton had damn near stripped her in our eating place. I would have to set more guidelines on his ass.

“Thank you, Alex. And I’m sorry to hear about Cassie.”

I nodded. There really wasn’t much that I could say at the moment, and I certainly didn’t want to delve into the train wreck that was me and Cassie.

“Riley told me what happened, and I’ve been meaning to offer my sympathies, but I wasn’t sure where you stood with me.”

I turned to the sink and threw some water on my face, then wiped it away with a paper towel. I wasn’t sure if it was frustration, anger, or a lethal combination of both, but this conversation was taking me back to a place that I did not want to be.

“It’s okay. Shit happens, right?”

Both Riley and Nat looked at me with worry in their eyes. I guess my charade wasn’t fooling anyone, and honestly, it wasn’t supposed to, but if it got them to back the fuck up, then I’d keep it up.

“Hey, man, have you told Cassie about the deployment orders?”

“No,” I coldly answered. “Why would I do that?”

Exasperation spread across Riley’s face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Alex, come on. If you two are not technically together that’s fine, but don’t you think there is something there?”