++++

My nerves were shot the next morning. My shower was much too long, it took me a good twenty minutes to make my hair behave, and every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I’d find something wrong with my uniform. To date, I had spent less than six months in the Marine Corps, and I was about to face a pre-trial hearing, something that most Marines wouldn’t see in twenty years of service.

Alex came to mind, and I wondered how he was doing with all of this. I hadn’t heard from him since the night he dropped me off and walked away. So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call him, but I stopped myself. If a break from me was what he needed, then I would respect his wishes.

When I could no longer stand it, I grabbed my cover and walked out the door and down to Captain Hedlund’s office. I hoped that I’d left with enough time to get to Hedlund first; I wanted to speak to him without Alex present. Having Alex around, even the mere thought of it sent my stomach into a fit of convulsions.

I could smell the aroma leaving the chow hall as I walked by with every swing of the door, but I had no interest in going in. I was wound too tightly, and the smell did nothing but further agitate my already shocked insides.

Alex’s truck was nowhere to be seen as I turned the corner for the base legal office. I took notice of all of the staff in the office wearing my same uniform—Service Alphas. The green pants creased to perfection, khaki shirt fitted with a matching tie, and the green coat with rank insignia and service hashmarks covered in service ribbons situated over the left breast. Everyone looked very business-like.

Court day—the day to seal my fate.

I self-consciously tugged at my coat, feeling like something was wrong with my uniform because as much time as I had given myself this morning, it still didn’t seem like enough.

“Pfc. Bennett, you’re a little early,” Lance Corporal Nelson spoke, jarring me away from my shot nerves.

“Oh, I know. I was hoping to speak to Captain Hedlund before we head off for court.”

“Let me see if he’s available to take you. Go ahead and sign in, then take a seat.”

I did as instructed, holding my cover in my hand like it was the last inch of life left in me. Lance Corporal Nelson came back, instructing me to follow her back. She knocked on the door, then gently opened it, motioning for me to make my way in. Captain Hedlund was knee deep in paperwork, but stopped what he was doing when I walked in, giving me a firm handshake before taking his seat.

“Lance Corporal Nelson, the files we’ll need for court have a few additional documents that need printing. Everything is in your email.”

“Yes, sir.” She turned and walked away.

“Captain Hedlund, Alex and I did not get married this weekend.” He sat in his chair, looking relieved and shocked at the same time. “In fact, we aren’t together anymore. I thought you might want to know about this before we go into court this morning.”

“I won’t lie, Pfc. Bennett, I wasn’t thrilled about you two running off to get married, but I have to say that I’m shocked that you didn’t.”

“I think we all are, sir.”

“Are there any extenuating circumstances that I should know about? Anything that might affect the outcome of this case.”

“No, sir. Just personal differences, that’s all.”

“Okay. Well, thank you for letting me know. I need to get with Lance Corporal Nelson and make sure that everything is set to go. Have you had chow?”

“No, sir. My stomach is in knots, so no room for chow.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you back here at zero seven-thirty. Relax. I am going to do everything in my power to help you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

I strode out of his office, feeling much better than I had when I’d initially walked in. I walked out of the base legal office feeling like the day didn’t have insurmountable task standing in front of me. Just as I turned the corner to sit in the foyer, I heard the roar of Alex’s Ram, and watched him as he parked, making eye contact with me the entire time. The same Alex that I had come to know the first day in formation was present—emotionless, moving with a purpose, and impersonal. That much hurt, but when he walked in my direction, my heart lifted just a bit.

“What are you doing here so early?” he asked, studying my face.

“I guess I could ask you the same thing, but if you must know, I came to speak to Captain Hedlund.”

“About what?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

I exhaled harshly. I was sure this wasn’t going to go over well. “I needed to tell him about us…our standing in case he needed to know it for court.”

Alex wiped his face, breathing hard as well. “I was coming to do the same thing. He must be happy. Enjoying someone else’s misery.”

“Alex, it wasn’t like that at all. He’s a professional. He thanked me for letting him know, then went back to work. That was it.”

His demeanor changed, and the stocky bulldog faded away as the relaxed Alex I had come to know and love emerged before me. “Have you eaten? Let’s get some chow.”

“No, I can’t eat. My stomach is in knots. I just want time by myself to take this all in before we have to go and learn our fate.”

“All right, I’ll see you in a bit.” He stalked off to his truck, looking every bit as impeccable as I would have expected him to. He opened the door but stopped and yelled out, “You look great, Blondie,” before hopping inside and pulling off.

Alex using my nickname was a term of endearment. It hurt, and it healed. I was on a roller coaster again, and this time, one way or another, I wanted off.

++++

The courtroom had an eerie feel to it—cold and sterile with concrete walls and old wooden floors. If they’d wanted full intimidation for the defendants in this space, they had done a mighty fine job of accomplishing their goal. From the second Captain Hedlund and Lance Corporal Nelson marched Alex and I into the building, my shot nerves disintegrated. The magnitude of what we were facing had somehow been minimized in my mind because from where I was standing, this was larger than anything I could have even begun to comprehend.

The military police situated in the corner were the unwanted reminder that Alex and I could very well be led out of here today in handcuffs, awaiting transport to the brig. Once again, my stomach knotted, and my head began to spin. I was lost in my own hell, and it was about to rear its ugly head in the name of First Sergeant O’Hara.

I didn’t see O’Hara until shortly before zero eight-thirty. He walked in with Major Godinez, looking like the snarl-faced bulldog that he was. Those beady eyes of his had a way of searing my soul, making me feel less than. Probably because that was how I saw myself at the moment.

Captain Hedlund walked over and shook both of their hands—always the consummate professional. He spoke briefly, then turned and headed back toward our table. I sat with my hands in my lap, sweat coating my brow as I found it hard to slow my heartbeat.

When I looked over to Alex, I was shocked to find him engaged in conversation with Lance Corporal Nelson, smiling every so often and looking like he wasn’t fazed by what was happening in the least bit. A piece of me envied his easy going demeanor while another part of me hated him for it. I was sweating bullets, thinking about how I would fare in prison while he was probably planning his next night out. My irrational hatred was beginning to get the best of me, so I turned around and stared off into the distance, hoping time would pass so we could get this over with.

“All rise”, the young looking Sergeant called out. “The Honorable Colonel Thompson presiding.”

When Colonel Thompson walked into the courtroom and took his seat at the bench, my heart sank. This shit had become real. My lips dried, but repeated licks and sucks did nothing to help the overwhelming feel. Colonel Thompson may as well have held an anchor tied around my feet, and at any second he would let go, sending me barreling down to depths unknown to suffer through my own inexplicable death. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.

“You may be seated,” Colonel Thompson barked.

The Sergeant spoke again. “This is the case of United States Marine Corps versus Sergeant Alejandro Cruz and Private First Class Cassie Bennett.”

“Major Godinez, you may present your argument.”

Major Godinez stood and walked to the center of the room, looking charismatic and confident. He had a nice appeal to him, even if he were trying to take everything away from me.

“Your honor, this is a very simple, open and shut case. Sergeant Alejandro Cruz and Private First Class Bennett embarked on an affair that violates the Marine Corps manual section eleven hundred point four that strictly and expressly prohibits the act of fraternization. Sergeant Cruz was Private First Class Bennett’s Comm school instructor. Undue bias was given to Private First Class Bennett, thus destroying the morale of the class.”

“You are in a court of law, Major. Be sure you have proper legal authority to assert your accusations.”

“Yes, sir, I fully intend to lay them out for you.”

“Proceed.”

Major Godinez went to his side of the room and grabbed a folder from the table, sifting through the papers inside. Captain Hedlund pulled out the same folder, quietly and meticulously following along with everything that Major Godinez elaborated on.

“Your honor, as a Staff Sergeant-select, Sergeant Cruz knew full well that his affair with Private First Class Bennett was not only against the rules but that it could potentially cause him to lose his selection, rank, instructorship, as well as serve brig time. He abused his power, both in the classroom and out, taking Private First Class Bennett from the barracks, off base, and doctoring documents to cover his tracks. He is a predator of the greatest nature, and there is no telling how many other female Marines he has exercised his power and influence over. Today, I ask that you please put a stop to his menacing behavior once and for all.”