Maya Banks - Colters’ Promise

“I’m so sorry,” she choked out.

“What for? For being human and being scared?” Dillon asked quietly. “Lily, you don’t have to put on a brave front with us. You don’t have to pretend.”

Michael smoothed a hand over her hair and then leaned in to press a kiss to the top of her head. On her other side, Seth slid his hand over hers and laced their fingers together.

“How do you feel about it?” Seth asked softly.

“Scared,” she admitted. It felt good to say it out loud. To get it out there. “It caught me off guard. I wasn’t prepared and so when I learned that I was for sure pregnant, all the grief over Rose just came back. All the old fears. For a while I was back there in that time, feeling just as I felt then. Exhausted, helpless, alone. Oh God, I don’t want to ever feel that way again.”

Michael pulled her back into his arms and she laid her head back against his chest while Seth still held tightly to her hand. “I’m sorry, Lily. We were so careful, or we tried to be. You have to know we wouldn’t have you feel this way for anything in the world. We just want you to be happy, and if that meant never having a child, we were okay with that.”

She appreciated the sentiment, but she was beyond the what-ifs now. She didn’t have the luxury of imagining or weighing whether she ever wanted to have another child or not. It was here. Her reality. She was pregnant, and she’d never ever do anything to change that fact.

“I want this baby,” she said quietly, fiercely. “I’m scared out of my mind, but I want it. I love him or her already.”

A shiver stole over her. Dillon peeled off his coat and arranged it around her body so she would have it and Michael’s body for warmth.

Seth raised the hand he still held and kissed her palm and then each finger. “We’ll be here for you, Lily. I need you to trust in that. We’ll never let you down. No one will ever be more loved than you and that baby.”

Her heart melted and some of the awful fear that had held her captive for so long loosened and slipped away.

“I know. I do trust you. I love you all so very much. I just need some time. To adjust. I’m so sorry I ruined the moment. It should have been special.”

Dillon put a finger over her lips. “You are what’s special to us. It’s going to be different this time, Lily. I swear it.”

She glanced at the faces of her husbands, at the earnest determination in their eyes. Saw the love—love for her—reflected in their depths.

Yes, it would be different this time, and she had faith—in them, and in herself—that this time her miracle wouldn’t slip away.

ADAM Colter watched as his wife, Holly, decorated the huge family Christmas tree with Ethan and Ryan hovering to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder.

It’s not that they wouldn’t have been more than happy to decorate while she oversaw the project, but Holly was determined that she hang every ornament and exclaim over each one as she did so. Every single one reflected a memory for the Colter family through the years, and each Christmas the tree grew heavier with those collected memories.

Maybe it was his age, but he seemed to grow more nostalgic with each passing year. He’d watched his children grow up under this very roof. He and his brothers had watched their wife blossom under their love and protective umbrella, and in return she’d given them something so infinitely precious that they could never want for more.

Now his children had spread their wings. They’d left the nest and yet they were all right here, surrounding him. All had come back. There had been several points in his life when he couldn’t have imagined being happier. The births of his children. Callie being born in the meadow. Holly returning to him and his brothers when they’d thought they’d lost her. But nothing compared to right here, right now.

His wife slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him to her. “What has you so deep in thought over here?”

He blinked, realizing that the tree was done and the lights sparkled like tiny diamonds hung over the thick limbs. He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

“I was just thinking about my children and my wife.”

Holly turned her face up and smiled back. “Good thoughts then.”

“The best.”

She sighed and stared back toward the tree and then let her gaze wander to her other husbands as they cleaned up the boxes and put them away until the tree came down.

“This year we’ll have Lauren. Callie’s so worried about her. She hasn’t left Callie and Max’s place since she got here a few days ago. Callie says she’s so ashamed, and my heart just aches for her. I want to go over and just hug her.”

“Why don’t you?” Adam asked, smiling at how tenderhearted his beautiful wife was.

Holly hesitated. “Because I know how it feels. That kind of shame. Even as you know it’s not yours to bear, you can’t shake it.”

He squeezed her, anger still fresh and fast to surface when he remembered what she’d endured at her first husband’s hands. The little bastard had died in prison the previous year, which only brought a small measure of satisfaction to Adam and his brothers. They would have much preferred to make him suffer a long, slow, painful death.

“It’s precisely why you should go visit her,” he said softly. “You more than anyone know exactly what she’s going through.”

“I want her to venture out,” Holly said, her lips firming in resolution. “Everyone will spoil her endlessly and restore her faith in the male species. She needs that.”

Adam nodded. “Be patient. She’ll take on the world and venture out of her safe haven when she’s ready. But there’s nothing to say that you can’t go over and lend her your love and support.”

Holly checked her watch and then let out an exclamation. “I’ve got to run. I’m supposed to go see Lily today.”

“I’ll drive you,” Ethan said from across the room. “I need to go into town anyway.”

Holly frowned and shook her head. “No need.”

Adam exchanged raised eyebrows with his brothers. Holly had been acting awfully suspicious lately. Not that she didn’t often visit Lily, but during the last week, she’d gone down there with increasing frequency and she was adamant that no one accompany her.

Ryan’s lips thinned and he crossed his arms over his chest as though he was about to argue, but then he seemed to think better of it and abruptly backed down. “What time will you be back?” he asked gruffly. “It’s supposed to snow again.”

Holly considered the matter a moment and then did another check of her watch. “I’ll be home by dark. Promise. I may stop in to check on Callie—and Lauren, but I’ll call you from her house if I do.”

Adam pulled her up and kissed her lingeringly. “Be careful, okay? We worry when you’re away from us.”

She shot him a dazzling smile and hurried away to get her purse and keys. As soon as she left the room, Adam shot his brothers a seeking glance.

“What the hell is our sweet little wife up to?”

Ethan shook his head. “Hell if I know, but she scares me when she gets this way. There’s no telling what she has up her sleeve.”

Ryan frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You think everything is okay with Lily? Have the boys said anything lately about any problems they might be having? Holly’s been spending a lot of time with her lately.”

Adam rubbed his hand over his chin as he pondered the possibility. But no. Seth, Michael, and Dillon all seemed happy. Content. At total peace. You could sense it in them. And there’d been nothing in Lily’s actions to hint at any turmoil. She was as sweet as ever. Quiet, shy, but fierce in her protection of the people she loved.

Finally he shrugged. “It does us no good to stand around and speculate. Sooner or later we’ll know what she’s up to. Until then we’ll just have to be patient.”

HOLLY pulled into Callie’s driveway just as dusk was blanketing the mountains. Snow flurries spun and spiraled in crazy swirls, melting on the windshield as she cut the engine. Instead of calling her husbands as she’d promised, she sent a text to all three that she was safe at Callie’s and would be home shortly. It saved time and prevented the inevitable concern she’d hear in their voices.

And to be honest, she wasn’t feeling entirely wonderful. She had a chill and a fiery ache had settled into her right side. The fever could well be the result of being exposed to Callie’s strep throat, and she could only assume she’d eaten something over the past several days that hadn’t agreed with her. She and Lily had cooked enough Christmas dinners to feed an entire battalion. Twice. But she was confident that come Christmas Day, she was going to serve her family the best holiday dinner they’d ever tasted.