Maya Banks - Colters’ Gift

She slowly shook her head. “No. Holly was extremely supportive. I didn’t talk to Callie or Lily about you. Not for any other reason than this is still new and I’m not one to air my private life to everyone.”

“Then what’s made you unhappy?” Noah asked. “You’ve been in another world ever since we left, and it’s obvious you have something on your mind you’re not telling us about.”

She glanced nervously between them, not because she feared a physical response. She feared the confirmation of her realization and the bursting of her created fantasy. The intrusion of reality was not always welcome. The problem was, she’d lived outside the realm of reality for too long.

Denial didn’t change the outcome of anything.

“I was sitting at the bar with the other women, and we were all talking and I was reminded, as I always am, how much I love the Colters. And then I was struck by the thought of how wonderful it would be to live here . . . with you . . . to be with both of you and be so close to my family.”

She sucked in another breath while Liam and Noah both waited expectantly for her to continue.

“And as we drove away, I realized how impossible that is. Your lives are in New York. I realize you have feelings for me that go above and beyond me being a job to you, but once whatever threat is determined and eliminated, you’ll go on to another job. In New York. And whatever relationship we attempt would also have to be in New York. I realized how afraid I still am to be in the same city, no matter how vast, that Joel’s in. This has become home to me, and I hate the thought of having to leave it.”

There, she’d said it. She held her breath, not wanting to hear what they would say. She hated having reality intrude when things were new and exciting and hope had sprung.

“I don’t know that we’ve even given that a thought,” Noah said honestly.

“It’s certainly something we would need to discuss and work out between us,” Liam said in a careful tone. “My primary focus was you. And somehow getting you to accept what we proposed. Beyond that hurdle, I’ve given little thought to anything else, except to realize that we have to take it as it comes, one day at a time.”

She nodded her understanding, but the issue was still there, like a giant roadblock, and it was one she didn’t see a way around.

She couldn’t expect them to sacrifice everything they’d worked to achieve for her. What did she have to offer them here anyway? She was a waitress. In a diner. She made barely enough to pay her rent and get by on. And there wasn’t a high demand for personal protection in Clyde.

For that matter what could she offer them in New York? She’d quit her job at Joel’s demand. He’d wanted her available to him at all times and he wanted nothing to interfere in his schedule.

Stupidly—God, she used that word a lot to describe her actions—she’d thought it romantic that he’d wanted her to quit so he could take care of her. She’d been too naïve to realize it was the first step in putting her squarely under his complete control.

A year without work didn’t do wonders for the resume. When asked by employers to explain the gap in employment, what could she say? Oh, I was a naïve twit who quit my job to allow a man to take over my life, but hey, I’ve got my crap together now so you should feel absolutely comfortable in giving me a job.

Yeah. Not happening.

Her degree was useless in Clyde. There was about as much need for someone with marketing experience as there was for personal protection.

“Lauren?” Liam called softly.

She turned in the direction of his voice and met the vivid blue of his gaze.

“We’ll work it out, okay?”

She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak.

Noah pulled her hand onto his lap, almost as if he were sending her the message that he wasn’t letting go and he wasn’t giving up.

Maybe she was being too fatalistic. It wasn’t as if their only two choices were Clyde or New York. While she’d grown very attached to where she lived and to the Colters, there was nothing to say that she couldn’t be happy somewhere else.

She hadn’t planned to live here forever before, had she?

Or maybe that’s precisely what she’d planned. To spend the rest of her life hiding, never really living. Just existing.

Noah and Liam were giving her the opportunity to live a full, rich life filled with love. They wanted to make her happy, had sworn to do everything in their power to make her happy.

Maybe they could even live out of the city and they could commute. She doubted they’d ever travel in the same circles that Joel did. They’d probably never encounter him in their lifetime.

You have the power to put him away.

The insidious whisper stole through her mind.

With the information she’d copied from Joel’s computer, she had the power to make Joel a nonissue for a very long time. But in order to do that, she had to have courage she didn’t currently possess.

And more importantly, she’d have to be willing to face Joel Knight again.

LAUREN dressed for bed in the tiny bathroom and took longer than normal to brush out her hair and clean her teeth. Noah was in her bedroom, also undressing for bed, while Liam was settling into the living room.

There was no way this arrangement could last long term. Not that she’d minded sleeping in Liam’s arms last night, but he couldn’t have been comfortable on the bed. They’d been forced to remain on their sides, locked together the entire night. Even she’d woken up stiff and with a crick in her neck. She couldn’t imagine how Liam must have felt.

Should she extend the same invitation to Noah to sleep with her? She’d needed comfort the evening before. The day had exhausted her and left her feeling uncertain. Or at least that was the excuse she’d used to whisper the shy request to Liam.